It seems like the crickets are chirping here anymore....

Because they don't care. They are not parents, they are paid keepers. :( YOU are the mom and no matter what happens, you care. As far as looking at the accounts, it's probably the only way that you are able to keep some kind of track of her. Your choice though is to keep hurting or stop looking. (((((((((hugs))))))))))) I understand the pain :'(

sassafras, I know how obsessed I was with looking at my kids' mother's facebook. it was a consuming need. and it didn't help me at all. I cannot imagine how hard it is to stop when it is your child--but everyone is right. you have to decide if the information is worth the pain. I weaned myself off--1 x per week, then a little longer every few weeks until I no longer felt that compulsion. now I kind of check in every couple of months to make sure she's still alive. seriously. I also blocked her from my regular account. wishing you some peace in this whole thing--you have suffered much.

Is she in a RTC or group home? Their punishments are lacking (IMHO). I'm thinking they work more on positives but it's not helping the kid.

She is in foster care. LOL they said she was grounded (for what a day) and had to write apology notes and will have to pay back the court fines. How she has no job? I told them she has money in savings acct and i would be glad to write them a check out of it. They said they aren't going to punish her for months. Okay but how about a few weeks? LOL said they are seeing improvements. Good luck they never last. I know it sucks looking but how do you NOT know what your kid is doing ? I dont know how to do that.

It seems like you are still looking and hoping for some sort of justice where she is concerned-- for someone, other than you, to really see the whole picture of her behavior and mental health, how risky and dangerous her behavior is, and to truly address the heart of the issue and teach her that it's not okay and she can't get away with it, rather than just make excuses, gloss over, or ignore, which only emboldens and empowers the disorder inside her. It must be maddening to see her behave defiantly and self-destructively and yet get nothing more than a reprimand, extremely mild consequences and a writing assignment. Perhaps the next part of your healing is to begin accepting that this will probably never happen. There will be no justice where she is concerned. All the other adults may be forever content to be her rescuer rather than her healer. It may be (it certainly seems to be) that no one ever will fight the hard fight that must be fought to really get through to her and make her a safe and healthy person. Perhaps it's time to let go of the hope that if you cannot, someone else will. Please know I suggest this knowing that it would be a long and heart-rending process to let go of that hope and that desire. I don't think it is possible for it to ever not be a source of great pain, but I do hope the time will come when it is a gnarly scar, rather than a gaping wound. I think more than the "looking" at her page, it's the remnant of expectation and the hope that cause the pain.I make this observation from very, very outside of the actual circumstances and if I am off-base in what I suggest, I apologize.

My situation is not the same as yours but I do understand how you feel that she is not being held accountable for her actions. Our son spent 11 months in RTC and & months in TFC. His goal was always to come home though. Sometimes the RTC was a joke. He had a very bad visit with us running away, calling us hateful things and throwing something at my husbands head while he was driving. It was so bad that we decided not to bring him home for his next visit. Didn't phase him because the RTc took him to the movies(he went almost every week there which is something we rarely do because we can't afford it). When he was at TFC he was working on getting an mp3 player. He had to go 2 months without running away. Everyone knew this including the fp. He also wasn't allowed access to internet unless supervised. So a friend in school gave him an ipod touch. The fp checked it out with the kids parents and the story was true so they let him have it. Then they let him have access to internet to put songs on it. He then when on facebook which he wasn't allowed and lied to us about it. Now why would you work to get an mp3 player if you already had an ipod touch. When my husband called the fd about it he said oh I didn't know he wasn't allowed to have it. I guess he didn't realize either that ipod touch has internet access(our son has a problem with pornography which is why he isn't allowed internet access.) So while I am not coming from the same place as you I do understand the frustration when everyone else seems to play into the problem and doesn't hold them responsible for their actions.I also understand your need to look at facebook and see what she is up to. While our son was gone I still wanted to know everything that was going on and found out info any way I could.

I am not sure if it is the same in your state/county, but here foster children get an allowance from the government. So, your daughter may indeed have access to money.

They don't get an allowance here. zxczxcasdasd you hit the nail on the head. Hey I made it yesterday I think without looking at her page LOL. I will be glad when the calls from the worker are over but sad too because it is our source of info. sometimes I think it is only AFTER she is out of care because I won't be dealing with the very people that made the mistakes and unjustly removed her from our home when they were fooled. It is so hard to see my husband in such pain over this as well.