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Hi there...my husband and I have a fabulous chance to adopt a baby who is 3/4's anglo and 1/4 african-american. We are very excited at the idea but we are worried that we won't be able to give this child exposure to other children who "look like him/her." Our agency told us that is important for children to be around other people who look the same. I don't know anyone who is 1/4 african-american. Our friends out of state have a child who is 1/2 AA and 1/2 hispanic, but they're out of state...
are there any parents out there who have a child of this particular racial mix? How did you handle it?
any advice on what we'll need to do to give this baby a great environment and connection to all part of his/her heritage? I am anglo and my husband is hispanic, so we really will be a beautiful rainbow family with this hopeful new addition.
thanks!
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We have two Asian babies that are now grown....and three AA babies...all under six years old. I can tell you that even if an agency lists a baby/child as being 'what percentage this or that'.......you still will have no idea what this child will look like, KWIM?
(I find it weird that in this day and age, an agency still 'lists' babies/children in this way, but that's another point....)
Anyway........I personally feel that as long as you recognize this child is NOT white, has a variety of 'cultures' if you will (which, actually, ALL of us do, since we are all Heinz 57's)........then I think you can be fine.
The time when there's a problem...as I see it, is when a family decides to adopt a child who may appear 'white'...and ignore the fact that there's a lot more to it.
As long as you accept the fact that this child is who s/he is..........and willing to expose them to any/all things connected (and maybe not connected) to them, I think you're on your way to understanding this child and his/her background.
Good luck to you....
Sincerely,
Linny
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I agree with Linny. I will say that it is somewhat more of a "challenge" if your child "looks white" (whatever that means) to be vigilant about acknowledging and celebrating the fact that he or she is also AA (you don't need to find other people who are 1/4 AA (again, whatever that means!). Good luck to you!
I have three biracial children. One is AA/CC/Native American. He looks Hispanic. Our two girls are Italian/AA (not blood related) and look very different. One looks more black, one is very fair. I know many biracial children, they can vary much in their skin tone and features. So to say your child, being 1/4 AA will look a certain way . . . you really won't know. I don't think it's important that he/she is 1/4 AA. He/she is biracial and should be given the opportunity to respect every single part of his heritage. If you can help him/her to do that, make sure he/she has a diverse group of friends, then you don't need to necessarily find someone 1/4 AA to introduce your child to. I do believe any child is done a disservice if his entire cultural history is not celebrated.
I do agree with the others that there can be such huge variations in what a biracial child looks like. I have 3 biracial nephews and a niece (1/2 AA and 1/2 white) all are typical of what I think of when I think of a biracial black and white child... very bright skin. Two of the three have had children my first two nephews are 3/4 black and 1/4 white and they look exactly like their biracial mother. My third nephew is 1/4 black and 3/4 white and again looks a lot like his mother who is white just a little darker. His hair is dark but not corse and no curls at all. DH has a cousin whose child is biracial and he looks like a "surfer boy". As long as you embrace what the child is all sides I see no problem. Get involved in a racially diverse play group or organization. I think you will be hard pressed in this day and age to find someone with the same skin tone as yourself. :)
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