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My son is 9. He's been with us since 8 months old, so prior parenting/abuse/neglect etc is not the issue. He has no major medical issues, other than ADHD. He's small and skinny for his age.
He pees every three-to-four hours at night. The reason we know this is if we take him to the toilet every three-to-four hours or so, he wakes up dry. If we don't, he soaks the bed. We don't bother anymore... he's been sleeping in a Good Night for the past month and sometimes he even soaks through that.
He's been to a urologist who says nothing is wrong, it's probably hereditary, and we'll just have to wait for him to grow out of it. Of course, we have no way of finding out if it's actually hereditary, LOL. We tried every prescription on the market with no luck. The doctor suggested the bed alarm, but he sleeps so deeply it won't wake him up. We limit fluids after dinner. We reward, we yell, we cajole, we plead and we ignore.
Well, we can't wait anymore. We are exhausted, and so is he. It just seems to me that a 9-year-old boy should be able to go more than 3 and a half hours without peeing in his bed. He's embarassed by having to wear Good Nights, and he can't sleep over at anyone's house. Is it time for another urologist? :hissy: Help!
Audrey
MommyToTwo
Please don't yell at your son for something he can't control. Bedwetting is bad enough without having parents that get angry about it.
If all medical tests show there is nothing causing it, you are just going to have to wait it out. Between my 3 siblings and I, 2 of us wet the bed until we were in our teens (my brother was 17, and I was 14 (although, at age 30, I still have an accident about once per year)), and the other two outgrew it around the time they tuned 10. My mom also wet the bed until she was 14.
Keep a waterproof mattress pad on his bed (vinyl is easier than the cotton covered ones) and make him responsible for getting wet sheets, blankets and jammies into the washer. He's old enough to handle getting them there, even if he can't actually run the washer himself yet.
Don't make him feel bad about it. Don't punish him for it. Just find ways to help him deal with it.
Yes PLEASE don't. No amount of yelling, punishing, cajoling or humiliating him will make him stop. Only time will. Just handle it matter-of-factly. Put a vinyl sheet on the mattress. Minimize the bedding....no top sheet and a thermal blanket instead of so much to wash.
My son wet the bed until he was nearly 10 -- and it was no big deal. BTW, the Goodnights make it worse instead of better. But my son and I made no big deal out of it -- we'd strip the bed, toss the sheets and wet pjs in the washer, then throw them in the dryer just before we left the house for the day.
It's embarassing enough for him to have this problem, without being nagged about it. Let it go...just deal with the clean up each day.
Robin
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I honestly believe this is much, much more common than people realize. My bio son is 9 and still wets at night (no medical reason, he just sleeps VERY deeply) and I know of at least 3 of his same-age friends who do as well. And that is just within his circle of friends whose mother's I know well enough to discuss this issue with.
We use the Goodnights, have a waterproof pad under the sheets on his bed, limit fluids after 8:00 PM, and make sure he empties his bladder last thing before he goes to bed. (Usually about 10:00 PM.)
He does do sleepovers and we just wrap the Goodnight in this PJ's so it can't be seen and I send a plastic bag with him so that he can dispose of it in the morning.
Please have him checked for lumbar discopathy.
I was 13 when I outgrew it. In my case, it was caused by lumbar discopathy. I am fine now (aside from the occasional lower back pain). Luckily for me, my parents never blamed me.
I have heard about stress, anxiety and such as possible causes for urinary incontinence.
What is his self-esteem/self-confidence like? (He may possibly feel bad enough about being smaller and skinnier than the other boys in his grade, without the further aggravation.) His bedwetting is probably making him feel humiliated.
Please send him a clear message that there is nothing "wrong" with him. Stress that if he needs to see a doctor, it is only to help him (certainly not because you had enough). Make a big point of being proud of some recent accomplishment of his or something he excels in.
Oh, I almost forgot: many of the kids at our Children's Village have this problem, including 16 year olds.
It's OK, kiddo, you are still cool!
MommyToTwo
Please don't yell at your son for something he can't control. Bedwetting is bad enough without having parents that get angry about it.
Don't make him feel bad about it. Don't punish him for it. Just find ways to help him deal with it.
Oh my gosh, I didn't want to leave everyone with the impression that we yell at him about it constantly... on the contrary, the one or two times that I did lose control and yell I apologized and we talked about it afterwards.... I was just trying to make the point that we've tried everything.
We try to be very supportive... but it is affecting his self-esteem, and I am looking for possible medical reasons to pursue.
Audrey
goodvibes
Please have him checked for lumbar discopathy.
I was 13 when I outgrew it. In my case, it was caused by lumbar discopathy. I am fine now (aside from the occasional lower back pain). Luckily for me, my parents never blamed me.
I have heard about stress, anxiety and such as possible causes for urinary incontinence.
What is his self-esteem/self-confidence like? (He may possibly feel bad enough about being smaller and skinnier than the other boys in his grade, without the further aggravation.) His bedwetting is probably making him feel humiliated.
Please send him a clear message that there is nothing "wrong" with him. Stress that if he needs to see a doctor, it is only to help him (certainly not because you had enough). Make a big point of being proud of some recent accomplishment of his or something he excels in.
Is there anywhere I can read up on Lumbar Discopathy? I googled it, but came up with mostly studies on various aspects... no actual definition or anything.
And yes, we do send clear messages to him to raise his self-esteem... he is a talented soccer player despite his size and enjoys a lot of attention from family friends in that arena... I was just trying to make the point that we have tried everything and were now looking for more medical avenues....
Audrey
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NJNative
Yes PLEASE don't. No amount of yelling, punishing, cajoling or humiliating him will make him stop. Only time will. Just handle it matter-of-factly. Put a vinyl sheet on the mattress. Minimize the bedding....no top sheet and a thermal blanket instead of so much to wash.
Goodness, we certainly don't humiliate him...and the one or two times I've yelled I apologized afterwards for my frustration. We don't blame him at all.
In my post, I was just trying to make the point (apparently badly) that we've tried everything and are now looking for more possible medical reasons....
And yes, I should own stock in vinyl sheets and pillow cases... we have been using them for him for years.
Audrey
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AudreyE
Is there anywhere I can read up on Lumbar Discopathy? I googled it, but came up with mostly studies on various aspects... no actual definition or anything.
I will try to answer (with a huge disclaimer: I don't really know this stuff).
Discopathy is any abnormal state of a spinal disc (the thing that goes between two adjacent vertebrae). Discopathies are named after their location along the spine (Cervical, Thoracic, Lumbar, Sacral).
When an "upset" disc puts pressure on a nerve root, it makes it difficult to control the organ which is the "destination" of that nerve. The legs are often affected by Lumbar D., but in my case, it was the bladder.
The folks who know this stuff best are orthopaedists, neurosurgeons and chiropractors.
I seem unable to google up an informative article. I have only found one article written in comprehensible (by a non-professional) language, but it does not provide a straight explanation either. Anyway, here it is:
[/FONT][URL="http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3841/is_200106/ai_n8981712"]Chiropractic inside story discopathy Journal of the American Chiropractic Association - Find Articles[/URL]
No harm in seeing another dr.
My son is 7 and still wets. I feel your frustration. My son just doesn't like to pee. Makes me crazy.
We've had an issue with the bus aide at school this year. THe bus company isn't alot of help. But I know when he has an altercation with the bus aide, within 24 hours, he wets his pants, either in bed or not. Tell me doesn't feel intimidated and stressed.
He also sleeps very deeply. I'm afraid to ever having a fire, he would never wake up to the siren.
My bio son, now 10, still wets the bed. It was worse when he was in second grade as he had a teacher who he was having difficulty with. He is a definite overacheiver and was struggling wiht his spelling. Without fail, he wet the bed the night before the test, the day of the test and the day he got it back. He also tends to sleep very deeply and so sometimes does not wake up when he needs to go. We have found several things that do work:
mattress cover
good nites which he keeps hidden in his closet and disposes of,. He has gotten to the point where he is aware if he might need one (not always 100% but...)
he strips his bed and takes everything to the washer. If I see a blank bed, I run the machine and put on clean sheets. This way he is not embarrassed.
It is always worse if he has been up late or if he has had a lot of excitement (the holidays are the worst). I have been told he will grow out of it. He does do sleepovers --he puts his goodnites on under his underwear. BTW, my husband also had this problem so his ped does believe this is hereditary.
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Sorry, but I don't have any extra advice. My 11 yr old boy pees on average 3-4 times a week, I would say.(and not just a small little bit, it more like the Titanic taking in water) He went to fostercare at 4 1/2 and adopted at 6 yrs. All thru that time, he has been a bed wetter. I have done the restricting fluids, going to the bathroom a couple times right before bed, using an alarm clock to get him up every couple of hours, the bedwetting alarm, a chiroprator, dr. They say his bladder just hasn't grown enough yet. They did prescribe medicine for when he sleeps overnight at friends which seems to work 95% of the time but if used daily, the effectiveness is only about 50% (or less for him) I know if he goes to bed worrying or stressed that is a definite gurantee that he WILL pee that night but he is a cronic worrier too. He also is a very sound sleeper that I too wonder if he would wake up when a smoke alarm going off? I just keep waiting and hoping. They do have a smoke alarm that you can program with your voice to calmly get the kids out because some will hid from the loud blare. I havn't looked to see where you can get them yet. Hang in there-as you can see, you are definately NOT ALONE in this!!
I also forgot to add that my boy is very small and skinny for his age and also has ADHD too. Kinda weird all the simularities.
What kind of bed alarms are out there these days? The reason I ask is because that was what worked for me after my parents tried everything under the sun, doc evaluations etc.
I don't hear alarms either, but I feel them. The kind I had was a vibrating sheet that went under your bedsheet and as soon as it got wet, it would vibrate waking you up.
I did not have adhd or any other "pinpointing" things...I just didn't have a good bladder signal to the brain waking me up when I had to go. Had to more or less teach the brain to respond and for me it worked. Think I was around 9 when I stopped.
My daughter sleeps very soundly. We used the alarm with great results. It took about 3 months. I was the one who had to wake to the alarm. But we followed the directions and it worked!
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shaylynn
I also forgot to add that my boy is very small and skinny for his age and also has ADHD too. Kinda weird all the simularities.
Huh. Yes it is weird, isn't it? anyway, thank you for the advice and reassurance!
Audrey
crick
What kind of bed alarms are out there these days? The reason I ask is because that was what worked for me after my parents tried everything under the sun, doc evaluations etc.
I don't hear alarms either, but I feel them. The kind I had was a vibrating sheet that went under your bedsheet and as soon as it got wet, it would vibrate waking you up.
I did not have adhd or any other "pinpointing" things...I just didn't have a good bladder signal to the brain waking me up when I had to go. Had to more or less teach the brain to respond and for me it worked. Think I was around 9 when I stopped.
Hmmm... vibration.. that's a thought... I'll look into that.
Audrey