Advertisements
...and I'm freaking out! I found out a year ago, about on my 38th birthday, that I have an older half sister. She contacted my mother two years ago, and things have gone very well from there. There have been many letters and e-mails, and the secret is finally out to everyone, family and friends. We've all been very excited to proceed, and Mom & half-sis met this past summer. It's difficult, because she lives outside of the US. Anyway, Mom & we three sisters are meeting in a week and a half, and I am suddenly terrified. I don't know of what, I don't know why--and I know everything is going to be fine. But I very suddenly find myself feeling like a 3 year-old! All the irrational feelings one could possibly have, I've got. I have no expectation that this will be anything but a good meeting (on neutral ground, no spouses or kids around, just the girls so we can get to know one another). My husband is absolutely supportive, but hasn't got a clue and is puzzled as to why I'm so upset & scared now. I don't know what to tell him, except it's like cold feet before a wedding--I'm sure that this is the right thing, but I feel like running away sometimes. Normal response? Please reassure me & talk me off the edge!
Please note that I am really beyond excited to meet her, and this has been a true blessing to me from the day I first found out (answered a LOT of questions for me about the relationship I have with my mother!).
Like
Share
I completely understand. I'm an adoptee who met both bparents this year and definitely freaked out before each meeting. Even though I knew intellectually that everything would be fine, I still was so scared, nervous, not even sure what the emotion was. Both meetings turned out better than I ever could have imagined and I'm sure that yours will too.
I met my bmom first. Then 5 months later, met my bdad. My suggestion is to be honest about your feelings - you may be surprised that everyone is feeling the same way. Your mom particularly may be able to reassure your heart since she has already met her. In my case, I needed to be reassured that it was safe to feel excited. But you may need something else.
Have a great time! I'm sure everything will be better than your dreams.
Advertisements
Thank you, jrainbow. I appreciate the kind words. I guess part of my problem is that Mom is putting herself in the middle, even though there really isn't a middle. She is worried to give in to loving her first daughter as much as she wants for fear that my younger sister & I will somehow feel slighted. And truthfully, the irrational part of my brain is afraid of just that. It won't happen, it's not true, but that's my gut-level, 3 yo fear. Younger sis denies any anxiety (typical!). I have e-mailed birth sis that I am excited & nervous, and she says same, but I don't want to say anything more to her, because I don't want her to feel worse. Dang! We're so midwestern! Mostly, I just needed to know there are people out there that understand. Your very kind response shows me that there are, and you have no idea how powerful that is. I can't thank you enough!
