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Originally Posted By about to give upI have been searching for my b- family for going on 7 years now and I am no further then I was when I started. It's seems to me they aren't looking for me or have no inerest and seeing me could this be why it's so hard to find them?? All I want to know is my background and let them know I have my own children now. Could it be they really are just not interested. mommyslilmen@yahoo.com
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To all of you who are looking for your birth parents:
I hope that all of you will remember that (most) B-mom's never wanted to give you up! To have "had to" aren't words or an excuse; it was just 'the way it was', back in the '60s and '70s. Very few of us had parental support, acceptance, or options as to what decisions were made, FOR us. Back in those years, people were more concerned about reputations and not the feelings of us (who were carrying our most precious babies). I'm sure that society still has some parents locked into thinking 'reputation' and not the feelings, sad as that is.
In 1966, I was 'forced' to go to a home for unwed girls and have my daughter surrendered for adoption. I had been belittled by our Baptist preacher and my parents and surely did not know that I had ANY say-so or legal rights...and having said that, I ask that each of you remember that.
I opted to see and hold my newborn daughter...to this day, that 15-minutes with her has been my most cherished moment in life, and it is all that has kept me sane through the aftermath. She looked like me....something I will never-ever forget. The pain and love was so intense that when they came and took her away from me, I remember praying, "God, please....never let me have another daughter. This one can never be replaced."
That was almost 37 years ago. The pain and the memories have never faded.
I had third-party contact with my daughter, almost 5 years ago. She is an only child, with her own daughter now. The home, where I had her, contacted her on my behalf. She opted not to meet, which is okay because it is no longer MY feelings that count...it is HERS that matter. I did send her all of her medical background, and she did agree to exchange pictures, via the third party. (She looks very much like my sister, and a little like me.) I sent her a small picture album of all of her bio family, back to her g-grandparents, and she always has the option of having contact info on me, or her half-brothers. The ache in my heart is filled because I know she is alive and loved so deeply by her adoptive parents....and I know, in my heart, that I gave them "a gift" that only love could.
My point is.....remember this story, and all the love, when you wonder if you were loved by birth parents; especially your B-Mom. Most of us had no choice, though girls do nowadays.
To my daughter, whoever/wherever you are...I LOVE YOU!
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ProudofU,
i just wanted to know that reading your response just brought tears to my eyes. you speak the truth. we had no say, just accept it. i gave birth to my son, my first and only son, in 1971 in volunteers of america in ft. worth. i also prayed for him to be the only boy and god sure listened. i have two daughters and both of them have two daughters! the reason i have never looked for him is the same, it is his choice now. i made two choices for him, to give birth to him and to give him up to hopefully a happy life. now any others choices will be his. i held my son when he was 8 days old and when they took him from me and i went to sign the papers, i had to sit there crying for what seemed an eternity...my hand wouldn't move. i know it was the right thing to do at the time, but it wasn't easy and it still isn't. not a year goes by when i don't wish him happy birthday and wonder if this is the year he will find me. maybe some day!! just wanted to know you touched me.
cathey
Dear Birth MOMS
you are making me cry tears from love and healing...
as I said in previous letters.. Im 47 still looking for my mother...
Thank you for your words of wisdom!!!
We adopted children love you and know you thought you were doing the BEST for us...but NOW we want you IN OUR LIVES!! NO MATTER WHAT!!
WE LOVE YOU..
ceacea
Yeah, don't give up. I won't......It is hard for me to fathom that my bmom doesn't at least think about me every once in a while. I'm sure she hasn't "forgotten" about you. I personally think my bmom may not be looking for me, but i could be wrong. I've been searching for her for 10 years now and have just now picked up my search. I too have taken steps forward only to be put back, but i know for certain now i will never give up. i have search angels helping me right now and i believe this will turn out the way it's supposed to.
Also go to vsn.org -----> search angel site that's free
So, think of everything you know, dates, names (if available), place names, agencies.......everything....and get those posted on sites like these and get some help (ie search angels) and get searching!!! Good luck!
Everyone is right, you shouldn't give up because someone knows something and you will find it. I mean look at me, I've been looking for my sisters that my mother gave up for adoption. My mom hasn't tried to find them, but I have for as long as I can remember. The oldest was give up when I was 10 the other when I was 12. They are now 18 and 16. I have found them, their new families and have started communicating with their parents in hopes that one day they will ask about me. This way their parents can tell them and show them everything they want to know. So never give up cause someone is probably looking even if it's not your birthparents.
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Hello my name is Deanna. MY half sister was adopted. Dob is 2/20/1977. Born at lawton indian hospital. Cherokee heritage. Her birth name was Sonya marie wilson.she had an older brother born In 1974.. 3yrs and 3 months apart. My mother was sick and she was adopted at three months old out of the Dallas area. It was a closed adoption. The lawyer told my mom that the family adopting Sonya was well off. My mom was told that the adoptive mother was a previous pagent contestant or possibly a winner. The adoptive parents already had two biological boys at the time of the adoption took place. Could this be you?thank you Deanna
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If you where born prior to 1978 I might be able to help. Send me your birth date to terrieh32002@yahoo.com.