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I am feeling somewhat emotional today. It’s not been a good couple of months (six?) and it just seems to be getting worse and worse. At any rate, since I started personal journaling, I’ve been reading more and more blogs out there, wondering what is on everyone’s mind. I’m an EOBR (Equal Opportunity Blog Reader) and will read just about anything related to adoption.Sometimes, this offers great insight.Then sometimes, it sends me spiraling out of control with frustration.I read a blog yesterday in which a hopeful adoptive mom was talking about how she has a friend who is willing (!!!) to tattoo (!!!!) her infant (!!!!!) upon adoption…so that if s/he is ever kidnapped by the birth parents, they will be able to tell who their child is, since DNA testing isn’t an option in adoption.!!!Now, I know, honestly, that there have been extremely remote cases of abduction in infant adoption. So few, in fact, that I can only really think of one case in the last (decade?) however long I have been actively involved in Adoption Issues.The case with that girl in Florida who surrendered then revoked her consent to terminate her parental rights to the twins she’d conceived using ART then placed for adoption in the midst of sever PPD. That’s the only one know about…and wow, aren’t those some very unique and extenuating circumstances that most (I’d venture to say almost ALL) first parents will never experience (the ART etc…).At any rate – this ‘stereotyper’ was heavy on the comments about how these low life women (!!!) will steal and resale (RESALE!) their infants – and she wants to avoid that by placing a discreetly hidden tattoo on the infant she adopts. She used immunizations as justification for the pain…She had LOTS of people who agreed…posting links to stories where children, still in foster care, were abducted by their parents. She had people wondering how they too could ‘protect their little investment’ (NOT my words) by doing the same.How do we get through to these people? How can we really distinguish the difference for people who are clearly clueless. I speak not only as a first parent – but by golly, as an adoptee too. A tattoo!? Oh, when asked about legalities – she explained that parental consent was all that was required, if you had a willing artist.I really wonder what she’ll tattoo? A barcode? Ugh.How do you deal with Stereotypers? Anyone else noticed a HUGE influx of really ill-educated hopeful-members and members of the triad? :hissy:
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thanksgivingmom
Excellent point. For me, it would more be that the drugs really affected both my long term AND short term memory, so I know I wouldn't be capable.
Personally, I don't think tattooing is the answer. That's soooo... Ninetys.
Micro-chips are the only way to go. Birthmom's could do this too so that the aparents don't come back a claim all subsequent children (Leigh!) Think of the possibilities!! Maybe even tracking devices -
I hope somewhere in the adoption paperwork this potential adoptive mom is exposed. Can you imagine how neurotic her baby would grow up to be? Knowing they had a tattoo to prevent their birthmom from kidnapping him/her?? <shudder>
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...as an amom I have sometimes wondered how I would "prove" my son is mine if we were to be seperated. Obviously, I odn't share his DNA...But because we have an open adoption, his other mom would be there to prove it with HER dna. So that just shows you how an open adoption can actually prevent these worries, rather than compounding them.
So that just shows you how an open adoption can actually prevent these worries, rather than compounding them.
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I myself have a couple of tattos. I was thinking one day, it's too bad that my son doesn't have one as a distinguishing mark, since we don't share DNA. He's International adopted, so there's no chance of getting it from any birthfamily.
But, I never thought seriously of taking him for a tattoo!
My son currently has 2 distinguishing marks - a Mongolian spot and a geographic tongue. I had a kids ID done through school. I put both on the application - the didn't list the geographic tongue. Which irritates me. That won't go away. The Mongolian spot is fading.
But my son's finger prints are on file with my state. No, he hasn't been arrested - no yet anyway. He's only 7. There is a local research company doing a research project for the state of NY to study children's fingerprints and the way they change over the years. My son is a partcipant.
The hope for this project is that they will be able to 'project' a fingerprint for many years after a child is missing, kind of like the age progression photos they do.
I think the study will last 5 years. We got a free ID card for it with his fingerprints on the card and his picture. Next week he has his prints and photo redone for year 2. I really hope that they get alot out of this study and can use it to bring kids home.
Sorry, I guess I highjacked and went off course!