adopted men

I found my birth family in my early 20s. Im now in my late 30s. I thought by now I would have my adoption in perspective, but I donҒt. I struggle with being adopted. I never viewed it as positive. When growing up I had identity issues. I felt like I was living a lie, but never could figure out what that lie was. I felt hollow, empty and that my feelings didnt mater. I figured if I met my birth family I would feel complete and validated. We did meet and it did help. So many things were answered. I felt a connection I never felt before. However now IҒm stuck. Im torn. Part of my hart earns to be with my birth family. I like being with them and they treat me like family. However, my life is with my adopted family. The family I grew up with. The family I feel hollow with, like something is missing. My adopted parents love me very much and would do anything for me. I would never tell them how I feel about adoption. They know I found my birth mom, but we havenҒt talked about it in years. On the other hand, I have some resentment towards my birth mom. I still resent her for giving me up for adoption. My birth dad wanted me and so did my grandparents. I know this happened many years ago and I need to move on, but for some reason I dont. Recently she told me she has no regrets about her decision to relinquish me. That hurt. Well now IҒm in my late 30s. Ive never been married. IҒm alone. I feel like Im here, but not really here. I feel like IҒm going through the motions of life, but not participating in life. Ive had many girlfriends, but loved none. Are there any other guys out there who have had a similar experience? Do men who were put up for adoption as kids have intimacy issues? If so, how did you overcome? Any feedback from anyone would be appreciated..........Thanks