If Only My Parents Had Been Stricter?

Me too. That's pretty much why I'm here ;)

Not me, I was an old lady of 24 (right?) when I had A...I had long since given up on saying I wasn't going to do it again! Although I do remember those days....

My mom was very strict, but she was a single parent and had to work, so I had the time. I must say I never really wanted to give "that" up and still don't :evilgrin:

I was 26, so I guess I can't really blame mom and dad.... I think this thread is proving something interesting... that really we all know... most of us weren't young teens.

I was 19. Had strict parents. We got careless with the birthcontrol...stupid, but my parents had nothing to do with it.

[FONT="Century Gothic"]Nope. My parents were strict. I had to be home before dark. I was the good kid, my brother was the one who always was in trouble. I was living in my own apartment and I was 32.[/FONT]

My parents weren't really strict, alomst naive in the way I was easily allowed to go places and hang out until all hours of the night. I got grounded a grand total of once in my life.They did project a high set of "expectations" though. Grades, morals, etc. I fooled around a bit in High School, but I knew I was toeing the line there and fear of my parents would pull me back some. Sex was something that just wasn't discussed in our house. Period. I never got the "birds and the bees," I learned everything from my health classes at school.The stupid irony of life is that my parents tried to get more strict when I went to college. There was a weekend that they wanted me home for some NOT totally earth-shatteringly-important family. I think my uncle was in a play or something... And I'd have rather hung out with my college firends. I remember discussing it on the phone with my dad and him threatening to ground me while I was 2 1/2 hours away. It was kinda surreal.When I finally stopped asking my parents permission and started rebeling against what they "wanted." Well in some ways you could say it was a quick trip "somewhere" in a handbasket, in other ways it was a life shaping experience.As a 21 year-old senior in college, I went to bars with friends (did not drink to excess), figured out that I wasn't happy with my then-long-distance-engagement so I broke it off, found a guy I really had a spark with, started dating him, lost my virginity, left college because I didn't know what I wanted to do and didn't feel like wasting their money while I decided, moved in with that guy who I had a spark with, got pregnant (didn't realized that bit for 8 months though).I then also got my job. I never asked them for handouts. I wasn't following their rules, but I didn't ask them to finance it.I think that in the end, if my parents had seemed a little less strict, a little less straight-laced and judgemental, then I might have talked to them more, might not have been so afraid of them being angry with me for letting them down. I might have asked them for help, and I know now that they probably would have given it. And I think in that case, I wouldn't have relinquished.I also think that if sex hadn't been such a taboo subject, it might not have held the same mystique for me. I don't know... that requires rewriting most of my childhood experience to judge whether or not I would have felt differently about it.I was 22 when I was pregnant, turned 23 a few weeks after I gave birth.

Ahhh, i am angry with my parents and i do blame them to a point for my pregnancy at the age of 16. Both of my parents knew I was sexually active and their solution was to tell me "just don't do it" Never did they discuss birth control, safe sex... it was simply left at that. Mind i tell you, they were married as teenagers because of the pregnancy of my older brother so one would think LOGICALLY they would protect and EDUCATE me, not let me follow in thier footsteps and then completly blame me and not support my option to keep my son as my own. AHHHHH, the anger!

I think the real question should be "If only my parents had gotten me birth control?" We have had condoms avaliable in our house for any who want to take them since my daughter turned 14 and we learned a couple of her friends were sexually active. We have done other things as well. I am from a long line of super fertile women. Every generation has had a least one unplanned pregnancy, most have had two or more. I discuss this ad nauseaum with my daughter and have given her birth control she needs should she decide to have sex. Giving her birth control is not permission, it is a precaution. Knowing my daughter, it is going to happen. Mind you I am not providing her opportunities, but I am doing my best to keep her safe.

Not to take this OT but Brenda brought up a really good point. I has long amazed me how many are willing to have their daughter vaccinated against HPV (some states even require it) but not put their DD's on BC. Even if you are not sexually active BC has some positive side effects if you can tolerate it. It also teaches them at a younger age how important it is (not to mention the discipline) when you are older. That aside, we are willing to vaccinate against a STD but not teach safe sex? Makes no sense to me.... :arrow:

The thing is, I was on birth control and had sexual health education from my mom and from school. I was in nursing school for crying out loud. ;) So yes, I agree, it all needs to start with sexual health education, respect for yourself and your body, etc.

I completly agree that lack of acess and knowlege about birthcontrol was the largest contributer to my teen pregnancy...I was so young and so nieve and parents chose to ingnore their role of protecting me, therfore i vow I will not let down my future children as my parents did to me. I will talk about safe sex in a non judgmental, supporting way :)

We were (and are) using condoms regularly. With some creative math and a bit of guessing, we narrowed our daughter's conception down to one night (New Year's Morning 2006 actually) when we were drunk and away from home and just thought we'd risk it.I think the one think about birth control of any sort is to not push anything too hard. I mean protection yes, and being educated about failure percentages and respect and all that, yes too. But...I spent a horrid 6 or 7 months on "The Pill." The lowest hormone dosage Pill on the market proven to be effective.It screwed me up. Badly. Combined with lots, and lots of grief over my daughter's adoption, I was a hateful person with out-of-control, worse-than-the-depths-of-pregnancy mood swings.My fiance was the one that really pushed for me to come off the Pill. (Well it was between him and quitting my job/loosing my health insurance.) He didn't like the person that I was when I was on it. Niether did I really. My body is still not in back in wack... almost a year later.But you know what? When I told my fiance's mom about coming off the Pill, she jumped all over me about did he know, and what were we using instead (back to condoms) and why didn't I get an IUD?I'm sorry, but I don't want an IUD. For one thing, I want a bit more flexiblity to say, ok, let's actually have kids of our own. For two, Still No Health Insurance. And for three, I don't want to get my body screwed with again in that way. (Not saying and IUD would, but hey... once burned, twice shy.)So I think that a definite thing is to educate girls about safe sex practices and respecting their bodies (that doesn't necessarily mean no sex) and such, but also make sure that we give them tools that they're comfortable using and helping them see what works best for them.Really, I wish there had been my mom or my fiance's mom or anyone I had felt comfortable going to at, oh say, 3 months into that time, who would say, "Hey, maybe this isn't for you..." Because all I ever heard was, "The Pill is so great." "Shorter, lighter periods." "Clears up acne." "No need to worry about condoms." Nobody ever said, "Well, it might not work for you." or "It might make you a raving maniac."Yet again, I really think an open line of communication is the best tool a parent or mentor can have when talking about sex with "kids."

Making the right choices for you...thanks Opal. It's a very important message and like you said, a difficult one for some.

Uh, no.A) I wasn't living at home anyway. I was an "adult."B) My parents were unbelievably strict growing up. I was sheltered and naive. Worked in the opposite for me.Note that my pregnancy was not their fault but I don't believe that being overly strict helped matters. I was very naive on matters of sex, sexuality and my female body.