Pre Teen Snots..err...Children...

Awesome. Love it. J had just turned 12 when little guy was born (their birthdays are one week apart) so we had only just begun to glimpse the horror of adolescence. :eek: Sometimes I feel guilty for saying it, but it was hard, really hard. I look forward to getting through it, but not going through it again. I'll watch you go through it while I enjoy my 4 more years of peace. :D

Wow, sounds like my life! Luckily we only have one. He's 11 and we jumped into this. He is our foster son and was placed with us when he was 10. With him, EVERYTHING turns into an argument. The best advice I have ever received is to make the child feel like everything is a result of choices they make. "Ok, well it's your choice if you don't want to take a shower. If you choose not to, you also choose to give up your mp3 player and do all of the dishes two nights in a row" or something like that. It took a while for our son to realize we meant business, but it worked.Now he tries to listen, doesn't mouth off very often, and knows what to expect when he does.Just DON'T BE INCONSISTENT! Kids, especially pre-teens, pick up on it and will try to take advantage of your kindness. I finally had to turn into the mom I didn't want to be, but I realize that it's so much better this way. We're still close, but he knows he can't get away with things he shouldn't be doing. Good luck!

Crick, let's just hope it's a very long time until you resort to, "Show some respect!!!! Do it in the car like we had to!" It can always be worse! LOL.

My 11 yr old keeps telling me that I said she could do this or that, when I'm sure I did not say she could go or do whatever. Then she gets all upset that I broke my promise. It drives me nuts! I will have to try the suggestion not to engage with their contrary arguements. But I do get a string of interesting notes from my daughter, apparently it is easier for an 11 yr old to write a note to a parent than to talk to them! Today's notes from my 11 yr old: "I can't handle this. yea I do kinda want to be right, probably 85% of the time. its just when I was little, I was right 99.9% of the time, SORRY! I hope you can forgive me because I know I can change!!" "I know I am not totally a grown up yet but sometimes I feel like you either treat me like a 3 year old or some 25 yr old who can do every thing." "Sorry 4 yelling and every thing, it just makes me soo mad that you tell me that I can do something then you tell me I can't! I'M SORRY. I just wanna go 2 the movies. Write back."

Oh, Crick, didn't anybody ever warn you about the Pod People?? The space aliens come when your kids are somewhere between the ages of 11 and 13, and they turn them into Pod People. If you're lucky (most people are), the Pod People will disappear and your kids will resume their normal selves somewhere in their mid-20's. :arrow:

Sorry, but there is no know 100% miracle cure or that person would be the richest person in the world. The biggest is consistency and not letting them see that it gets to you.That is EXTREMELY hard, in my opinion. I have a 7, 10 and 11 and the two older ones, I would say, started around 9 years of age but we have been in a pretty good lull for awhile. My sister-in-law and I will have "Who is the meanest mom award" contest about whose kid did what and how horrible we are as a mom. Just kind of a running joke between us and a way to vent to someone. To the response "That's not fair" I sometimes respond back either "Life's not always fair, haven't you learned that yet?" and to the part of it's clean enough, I wash just part of their dishes and tell them, well I guess that is clean enough too (boy does that get the eye roll big time) I know that is giving them fuel to fight back with but it seems sometimes that you just have too:hypno: !

My son will be 10 in December and has a tendancy to be obnoxious. One thing that he does that drives me nuts is try to reprimand and "punish" his sister (who will be four in December). He has to be reminded in a firm manner that he is NOT the parent. Plus he does the typical "You can't make me" or "I don't have to listen to you." My husband & I use the 1,2,3 method and it still works very well (also for our daughter). Basically, they have up to the count of three to stop what they are doing (or not doing). Once we hit three, their is a consequence (no tv, no gameboy, no xbox, etc, etc) I swear by this method as both children will give up by the time we get to number two. :D

We have a 14 year old son and 16 year old daughter. and havent had major issues with the "typical" teen years but from time to time to have to work through some of it .... we all do. As far as the door slamming when this happens at our house I go to their room and show them how to close it quietly. I have even done this when they have company and it is amazing that the door isnt slammed so much. I have heard of kids losing their door for a period of time. Yes the parents take the door off the hinges.... at least there isnt any door slamming that can happen. The eyes rolling.... i cant say much about this one since i was guilty of it and still am from time to time especially with my adad. Now everytime it happens he refers back to how much I use to do it growing up. I dont do it out of disrespect but usually when he has said something silly. All this to say and as others have said this too shall pass. Enjoy your kids as much as you can and dont sweat the small stuff.

Oh, now THAT'S brilliant! :bullwhip: I don't have kids yet but I'm going to have remember that one for when I do. My gosh, I'm almost looking forward to it. Heh heh. I used to kind of do that kind of thing with my nephews when they whined over stupid things. I'd just start whining out of the blue "It's not FAAAAAAAAIR. I want to be with the GROOOOOOWN ups but you want to plaaaaaayyyyyyy and I don't waaaaaant to (a foot stomp here) and now we have to watch yoooooouuuuurrrrr TV show so youuuuuu can be happy and IIIIII wanted to see the neeeeewwwwwwwsssss!" Always made them laugh -- and always stopped the whining.

I have no advice and no pity for you:evilgrin: Welcome to my world, aren't you glad I invited you?:loveyou:

No Pity????:hissy: :hissy: FINE! BE THAT Way!!!! dON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOUR TEEN TAKES A DATE OUT FOR A RIDE IN HIS NEW CAR.....:evilgrin: ;)

Just sit back.. relax.. and of course pull your own hair out!!! I have 5 teens, a 19 yr old, two 16 yr old boys, two 15 yr olds .. the youngest is an emotional roller coaster thanks to birth family.. Thank God daily that they are healthy enough to slam the door. ( doesn't help much, but it keeps you positive) I prefer to make light of the slamming.. I "Ask them if they want to keep the door?" They usually reply with the "DUH" look. If you haven't seen it, you will and it sets your hair on fire.. I have actually removed bedroom doors!! LMAO!! Then they are like "O M G, are you serious?" Just grab a coffee and say quietly, "No.. it was stolen by the unicorns!" or "OMG!!!! Wait till Dad sees what you have done" ( good idea to warn hubby first) I found it effect to keep the door for a week..Make them earn it back.. They hate it. Plus all chores done with out moaning. =) big plus for us mommies! Make chore charts and behavior contracts. That made my life so much easier. No blaming brother for a chore that was theirs. Less fighting, and with three boys this close together.. GOOD heaven it has been a Monday night smack down. Say " I love you" when they say I hate you.. and guess what?? if they were good boys before, in a year or two you will have some really great young men. I promise... till then wonder where that beautiful well behaved child went. He is there while he is sleeping..

I read the thread and giggled the whole way through. My homeschooling 9 (soon to be 10) yo dd is a master of the whine and 'tude. I've found that severely limiting what she watches on TV helps enormously. I was naive enough to think that the Disney channel would be ok...but have you seen the kids on those shows? Smart mouth, talking back, parents are portrayed as either absent, clueless or both. I found my dd was mimicking a lot of what she was seeing there, and banning them helped. I am a fan of the echo treatment. She whines, I whine. I've been known to throw myself on the ground and howl, complete with kicking heels. Laughter goes a long way around here. Or when asked to do something, wailing, "I don't wanna! The other moms don't hafta! You're soooooo meeeeeeeaaaaaaaan!!" Best survival method I've found in parenting is my own twisted sense of humour :evilgrin:

Since there was a post on here today I too found this thread and laughed a lot. All teens are the same. My stepson is about to turn 16 and the only thing that helps his mouth most of the time these days is to threaten he can't see his girlfriend today if he doesn't knock it off. That and the fact that when she is over he won't mouth off and cause an argument in front of her. Here is my thing, I decided to do it again. DD is only 18 months old and I will have to go through the teen years again!!! What was I thinking? Can anyone tell me if there is a way to keep them small till they are adults and skip the teen years? Maybe a magic potion to help them along?

I know I'm in line for this, too...being kiddos are 11 and 12 respectively. They're at that age that they know they're growing up (OMG...the # of times I've heard "I have more hairs there!"...when they're grown, they'll remember that and DIE of embarrassment! LOL), but still don't have much of an attitude...YET. I have experienced SOME attitude, especially with my daughter. She's the 12 year old. I just give it right back to her. She rolls her eyes...I tell her, "that's lame! THIS is how you roll your eyes!" and I make a big exaggerated eye roll. LOL She scoffs, I scoff bigger. She storms off...I storm off bigger. We usually just end up laughing about it and start dinner. But, I know that won't last long. LOL