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Originally Posted By Henry
I am 45 & my wife is 43 years old.We cannot have children.We did not feel called to adopt but now wish to.Is it too late? We would be open to international adoption and would not expect a newborn.Thanks for any help.
Originally Posted By a mom
She was a newborn and she is from here in the USA. The bmom found us through a mutual friend. We have bio children so we weren't looking it just happened...and we're so glad it did. We live in Florida. I was at the delivery and the bmom signed her papers a day and a half later. We got the call and meet our attorney and adoption advocate at the hospital and there was also a social worker for the hospital there to represent the bmom. We meet with the bmomand followed the legal protocol. We were made guardians first and 4 months later we had our final hearing. That was 3 years ago. If you'd like more info I willpost my email for you.
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Originally Posted By Rena
I am 42 and my husband is 51. We don't have any children together. My husband has 2 adult children. We always thought we'd have plenty of time to have children or adopt. Now 19 years later I feel as though we're running out of time. Please share any info you have. Thank you!
Originally Posted By Neil
It could be hard, depending on what your expectations are. But if you want a newborn meeting such and so specifications, it could be hard if you were ten years younger and married.
Not only is adoption by single women very possible, and adoption by people over 40 very possible, but Cambodia, for example, REQUIRES single adoptive parents to be over 40.
I am uncle to four wonderful Cambodian children and an equally wonderful Russian child, all adopted by (legally, at least) single women and all over 40 (the women not the children!)
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Originally Posted By Neil
Why should it be?
Is it too old to conceive a child? bear a child? Raise a child?
My mother was 40 when I was born. She conceived me, she bore me, she raised me (mostly without a husband, it turned out.) Should that not have happened?
How many children are raised by grandparents, many of whom are WAY past forty?
So again, why should after 40 be "too late" for adoption?
Originally Posted By Cynic
Your chances of adopting an infant are quite low. Too big of a demand, and too short of supply. You stand a good chance at adopting a child through foster care. Perhaps an "older child".
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Originally Posted By ????
We adopted a newborn after 40. She was not our first child. There is nothing wrong with after 40 adoptions. I agree with you ...we are fertile years after 40.
Originally Posted By jessie
I'm a single mom. My little boy came home from Romania when he was twenty months old. I had just turned 42. It was the happiest day of my life. He's been home now for over two years and I've never for one single instant missed my pre-motherhood life! Good Luck!
It's not too late at all. Both me and my wife are 47, to be 48
when we adopt a toddler from the Ukraine later this year.
No sweat with the arrangements.
Go international as it is best, domestically is just nonsense. Its a crappy system that wants to protect the birthparents rights forever and leaves the kids rotting in horrible foster holes forever.
Go international!
i believe that its 40 yrs per child, so if someone is 43 they can adopt three and up....but thats not always the case. As for domestic, some agencys do work with you on finding a perfect fit, it does take some time, but it does happen. there are so many kids in the United States that need homes also.
I know for here, the parents have 1 yr to get their act together and follow through the plan set by the social workers, if they dont comply, the kids get legally freed. however, then they can have the write to appeal, but in our case, if they didnt follow through the service plan chances are they wont follow through the appeal...
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Oh......I just couldn't 'stay out of this one'.........
We have adopted through the state and privately. Overseas and transracially. After one 'nightmarish adoption', and being 'burned' by the system for not disclosing all the lawful paperwork----reluctantly, I cannot fault anyone for not wanting to deal with the state's foster/adopt program.
In our state, the issue of having one year.....is actually nine months. Supposedly, parents have nine months to 'get their act together. The part that ISN'T expressed though, is that 'if the parents show only an inkling of progress---even at the 'end' of the nine month period------that 'nine month time span STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN'!!!!
Essentially then, parents can 'dilly-dally' around forever with this plan......and the children continue to stay in the foster status. If you can stomach the system....then by all means.......adopt through the state foster system. It is true that there are many children in the USA foster system that desparately need homes. However, it also cannot be overlooked that children who have been tossed around in the foster system can be horribly damaged and therefore require 'parenting that is beyond parenting'.
I have acquaintances who live with alarms on their doors, SACY plans for each child, etc. It's truly a different way of parenting altogether.
We do not live like this. We would not live like this. And, we have two out of three 'older child adoptions' that have been successful. And yes, any type of adoption can go awry......however, the chances of 'healing and success' are generally greater when adopting a much younger child or a newborn.
At least, this has been our experience in adopting over the past 22yrs.
Sincerely,
Linny
I was forty & single when I adopted my daughter from China. She had just celebrated her first birthday when I recieved her. That was 3 1/2 years ago & I would love to adopt again. So no, definately no. Forty is not too old!