Advertisements
Advertisements
[FONT=Arial]I need input (Disclaimer: I am posting this to a couple different forums.)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial] [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial]I am a Birthmother that surrendered a daughter almost 19 years ago. I received a 3rd party email regarding info that she posted on another website and, after reviewing that info, I feel sure she is my daughter. WeŒve had one email exchange where she said she wanted information, but wasnt quite ready to proceed. I totally understand that and replied that I would be available whenever she was ready.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial]I do not want to let her parents know that we had a brief email encounter (just in case she hasnҒt told them shes curious about me), however, I would like to contact them and thank them for raising her and caring for her.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial]My question(s): Would it be inappropriate to contact her parents, to thank them, let them know that I am not a threat to them, and would like to talk and/or meet with them to discuss how to relate to ғour daughter? Should I attempt to do this before I have more contact with my daughter? or would it be better to wait until after there is a ԓrelationship with her?[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial]What do yԒall think?[/FONT]
I'm going to vote for wait. I think it's great what you'd like to do, but seeing as your daughter has asked for time, your intentions could be misconstrued. You've waited 19 long years, I imagine you could hold on a bit longer, especially now that you know who she is, and that she's okay. (Please know, I don't claim to think this will be easy to do)
Best of luck with whatever you decide to do, and congratulations on your reunion!!
Advertisements
Oh definitely wait. I think you hit it right on - she may not have told them she's looking for you yet. Her aparents finding out from you may cause a rift between her and them, and make it take even longer for her to be ready to establish contact with you.
Please wait and that will probably be the best outcome. Let her handle her end and then I'm sure you will be able to meet everyone and let them know you feelings some day.
search angel
I'd wait and see what is expected of you. Your daughter may or may not have told them, and even if she did the aparents must consent to wanting to get to know you first. These things are very tricky when dealing with other peoples feelings. I've learned it best to wait and see. Best of luck to you.
bprice215
Advertisements
I was leaning towards waiting and letting my daughter take the lead when she's ready.
Everyone confirming my original thoughts have really helped. Thanks for the help!