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We have recently adopted our first child. She is a beautiful blonde hair blue eyed girl 6 year old little girl. She was in foster care 2 years before she came to live with us and we adopted her. She has been with us for a little over a year and lately more than before she is telling a lot of lies. She lies about everything. She is so good at it that even if you know she is lying and you have proof that she is, you still second guess yourself. If you have any suggestions in how to handle this situation please let me know.
Please pray for us and her. I love her very much. She is a wonderful little girl.
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I too am interested in hearing solutions. Our son is almost 6 and has been living with us for nearly 4 years. He lies (mostly to get his brother in trouble!) about the silliest things.
How do you deal with it?
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I would suggest posing this question [URL="http://forums.adoption.com/special-needs-adoption/"]here[/URL] as you may find more help!
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You might check out this web site, and this article in particular. Hope it helps give you some encouragement. (((hugs)))
[url=http://www.deborahhage.com/articles/lying.html]Lying and Teaching the Truth - Deborah Hage, MSW[/url]
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Children who do this type of behavior need professional help or else they will continue it through adulthood. I urge you to seek help. I think most of us have known of someone who as a adult tells crazy lies or always seems to have a need to one up everyone when in a conversation about an event of some kind. It starts when they are children and no one noticed the severity of the situation. It is a defense mechanism.The Deborah Hage pages already mentioned have great info on this.
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If the child is really good at lying, it could be a sign of an attachment disorder. Kids with attachment disorder tend to be charming and manipulative. I would read up about attachment disorder and keep an eye out for other symptoms. If that is the problem, you will need specialized therapy asap.
Good luck.
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I have to say that all of my biological children began to lie at about age 6. I don't know why, but I don't think it is just indicative of the fact that she is adopted and was in foster care. I think since she's been with you so long, that I might just consider it more an age thing than an adoption issue. I would definitely use some of the other suggestions listed here and nip it in the bud real quick, but if it continues, then maybe seek professional help.
Good luck!
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Have you read "The Connected Child" by Karen Purvis? It has GREAT info on children's behaviors, and WHY they act the way they do. It really feels like an instruction manual. Are you part of a support or fellowship group?
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brayberryfarms
I have to say that all of my biological children began to lie at about age 6. I don't know why, but I don't think it is just indicative of the fact that she is adopted and was in foster care. I think since she's been with you so long, that I might just consider it more an age thing than an adoption issue. I would definitely use some of the other suggestions listed here and nip it in the bud real quick, but if it continues, then maybe seek professional help.
Good luck!
Having had children who were older when adopted from the foster care system AND have had moderate and severe attachment disorders, I have to totally agree with brayberry. We've also adopted many infants and lying is not uncommon at all around this age.
I believe the dividing line between 'pretty normal and seeking therapies', is when children do this continually and especially 'in the face of reality'.
Good suggestions to consider; and good luck...
Sincerely,
Linny
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