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So you know that visit I have "coming up"?
Here's the timeline on how that went down if you need to catch up:
7/14/8 I sent an email to D just to say hi, catch up, and see what she thought about another visit.
7/17/08 D sends me an email saying she got my email and is busy and will get back to me with some possible dates that could work.
8/8/8 Having not heard back from her with dates, I sent a reminder about the visit hoping to firm up some plans. I also said that if she changed her mind about the visit/was too busy I understood. I didn't want her to feel trapped into a visit or anything.
8/16/8 I hear back with the two date possibilities. I immediately respond saying that one of the dates is better as I"ll be out of town for the other date. I will be out of town the two weeks leading up to the visit so it would be best if we could plan the time/location before I leave.
9/5/8 Five days ago I sent a reminder email that I would be leaving on Friday (that gave her a week to respond) and that I probably wouldn't have computer access until two days before the date we decided upon.
I still haven't heard back.
If I don't hear back before my vacation what do I do? Just let it go and give up my visit? Be SUPER annoying and keep emailing her? (I'm not real comfortable with that). Use the phone number that she gave me for the first time? (PS That's DEFINITELY not happening, I'm just tossing it out there).
I'm just feeling a LOT of rejection on this issue and understand that yes, maybe she IS just really busy, but I just feel like it's not all that fair (what is though, right?) I'll turn my whole day, weekend, whatever around if I have to because I know when she says "Jump" I'd say "How high????" I'm just trying to get things sorted out and planned and I only had this one little request - to get it done before my vacation.
Do I make a last ditch effort before I go or do I just give up and accept that there won't be a visit when I get back?
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FELICIDADES!
..So are WE still ALL on for the 27th?
GO CUPCAKE! :cheer: GO CUPCAKE! :cheer:
thanksgivingmom
Oh, and want to hear something else????
:cheer: WE HAVE TINKLE IN THE POTTY PEOPLE!!!! :cheer:
Yes, Cupcake had her first successful attempt at going potty like a big girl yesterday.
tgmom
Ok. I know you are really excited and on a high right now - and I don't wish to ruin it....BUT (There is always a but)
I really think at your next visit you NEED TO ADDRESS THE COMMUNICATION ISSUE WITH HER. Yes I was yelling that at you. It's going to make you uncomfortable, it's going to be hard....but take a big breath, put on your big girl panties and DO IT. Otherwise this type of behavior could plague your relationship.
Tell her how hard it is on you waiting for her responses. Explain that you understand busy schedules and what not - but tell her that you literally hold your breath until you hear back. Ask that even if it is just a quick sentence or two, that you'd really apreciate quicker responses. Open up to her - explain the worry you feel, the fear that she may be closing a door to you......
You REALLY need to do this. In person is going to be the best opportunity. She will see the sincerity if you do it in person.
DO IT.
ok?
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I really think at your next visit you NEED TO ADDRESS THE COMMUNICATION ISSUE WITH HER. Yes I was yelling that at you. It's going to make you uncomfortable, it's going to be hard....but take a big breath, put on your big girl panties and DO IT. Otherwise this type of behavior could plague your relationship.
Leigh131313
tgmom
Ok. I know you are really excited and on a high right now - and I don't wish to ruin it....BUT (There is always a but)
I really think at your next visit you NEED TO ADDRESS THE COMMUNICATION ISSUE WITH HER. Yes I was yelling that at you. It's going to make you uncomfortable, it's going to be hard....but take a big breath, put on your big girl panties and DO IT. Otherwise this type of behavior could plague your relationship.
Tell her how hard it is on you waiting for her responses. Explain that you understand busy schedules and what not - but tell her that you literally hold your breath until you hear back. Ask that even if it is just a quick sentence or two, that you'd really apreciate quicker responses. Open up to her - explain the worry you feel, the fear that she may be closing a door to you......
You REALLY need to do this. In person is going to be the best opportunity. She will see the sincerity if you do it in person.
DO IT.
ok?
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I was just thinking that an easy way to bring the subject up might be to say " I notice it takes a while for you to respond to my emails, is there a better way to contact you?"
Sometimes I have to remind myself that not everyone is a puter junkie like me - some people don't check their email for weeks at a time (unlike me - and apparently you, lol - who goes crazy waiting for replies).
It took a long time for my kids first mom to understand that when I said "Ill call you right back" and then didn't , it was nothing personal, it was just me. Now it's a running joke that "I'll call you right back" are the only words I will ever say and NOT mean.
Have a great vacation!
Yeah BillysMom! That's a super good way to do it!!!!
And SS - SUPER idea!!! I'm SO going to give her a present of big girl undies!!!!...now if I can just find some with cupcake's on them! haha....better pick up a pair for myself too since I have to be the big girl and start the conversation!
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thanksgivingmom
Yeah BillysMom! That's a super good way to do it!!!!
And SS - SUPER idea!!! I'm SO going to give her a present of big girl undies!!!!...now if I can just find some with cupcake's on them! haha....better pick up a pair for myself too since I have to be the big girl and start the conversation!
lovemy2boys
UGH! That's always the worst part - isn't it? The lead up to the conversation...If you're anything like me, you have fake convos in your mind, and they aren't always good...lol...(this happens alot to me in my regular life - not just adoption related)
In the end, it's usually so painless that I kick myself for spending so much time worrying.
Enjoy your vacation!