new to the adoption side of things

If you love these kids adopt them. You have already suffered a loss, adding these kids to it will hurt more. Also I am 40 and adopting a newborn and I am still unmarried (though I have a male partner :-) in a few years your kids will be on their own and you will have more than enough time (if not BEFORE THEN) to date and find another person to share your life with, what is most important is that you are sharing your life now, with people you love. Enjoy it, thrive and forget all the "fear" you are hearing...follow your heart.

Been there..STILL doing that.... I was 27 when I adopted my 2 boys. I'm 28 now. My kids don't have a dad. I don't have a "normal" life. But I didn't prior to having children anyway. I don't really have much of a social life (NOT THAT I DON'T WANT ONE), but having kids definitely didn't ruin it. I was engaged..but I am not anymore. I still hold on to the hope that one day I will get married. I can't lie the offers for dates dropped off when I became a foster/adoptive mom. Some men assume that you just want them to take care of you and your kids and that you have the normal associated drama of dealing with the kids father....Neither is the case for me, as I stated before my kids don't have a dad and I do just fine taking care of my kids on my own. In my times of loneliness, I ask myself do I really want someone who doesn't share my common vision of being an adoptive/foster parent? Absolutely, not. So If I get passed up by men who don't share my vision...It's really no big deal in the long run. Men like that are rare and hard to find..especially single ones... I met this guy who is in his early 30s who is a single foster/adoptive dad of 3 teens. I practically stalked the man, just because it was so uncommon. LOL! So I sit and wait.... I got flack and I still get flack about choosing to be a single mother. It is challenging at times...but it definitely doesn't RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!!! I plan to adopt another child in about 2 years, wait until they hear that.

JMO,Samantha

Originally Posted by meshsgrl

now suddenly my families have decided that I am ruining my life by adopting. Because raising children is ruining your life?

I am to young to make that kind of commitment... Umm, didn't you make a committment a few years ago when you got married?

I wont ever be able to remarry... First, untrue! Second, some people are okay with being single.

I am throwing away my life... So if you were married and raising kids it would be okay but since you are single raising kids is just a waste?

I am giving up any chance at a normal life... Who has a normal life these days?

These kids will grow into teenagers.... Good! I wouldn't want them to stay young forever.

a boy needs a dad.... Boys need love and guidance and role models -- no matter what gender.

Thanks I love it... I shall save this to my list of things to show to my family!! Thank you for all your support. I live in a conservative community... single moms are not the "norm"!!