discriminated again ...

I'm so very sorry you experienced that. I am a christian and rudeness is not a christian atribute. Best of luck in your next adoption.

I'm so sorry you were treated so badly-especially by an agency claiming to be Christian. Jesus always welcomed EVERYONE he met with kindness-despite their status, health, and even (gasp!) religion. As Christians, we're supposed to be following His example. I'm ashamed of how you were treated. My family has Jewish heritage but we're practicing Catholics. As for your follow up phone call, it was very gracious of you. I probably wouldn't have been able to do that. But, it just shows your incredible character! You're future child will be so lucky to have you.

I'm not surprised this happened to you Wizard because sometimes my people ("Christians") can be so close-minded. Have your Tried using a non - sectarian adoption agency they tend to be more accepting of "non-traditional" families. I decided to adopt independently because adoption attorneys tend to be more "gay friendly"

I'm so sorry. I really really does sting. My husband was raised Christian Science and there were Christian Agencies that wouldn't work with us either. My husband was so upset. He wasn't even practicing anymore, it was essentially his parents religon, but because we were honest, there were agencies that told him he wasn't "Christian"... who are they to tell him what he is or isn't? I'm SO glad you called back and were polite. To hang up on you is so rude. I guess God left her in charge to judge everyone and forgot to tell the rest of us?

That's ridiculous!! I'm black and I HATE discrimination. You may want to threaten going to the media and go as high up the ladder as you need to. That kind of ignorance is uncalled for.

I agree with Kat-L that Jesus would not have liked to see adoption tied to religious discrimination because it is contradictory to his teachings. Jesus was a Jew, he celebrated the same holidays as I do today, read the Old Testament from the same language as I do (Hebrew), I understand the basics of the language that he spoke (Aramaic), we grew up in the same country, share the same history etc.. In fact, there is a very tight bond between us and it is most likely that if Jesus lived today, he would consider himself to be a Jew. (The logical conclusion is then that he would get rejected by that adoption agency, how absurd). :eyebrows: I checked out the website. It says there "Our adoption program is open to couples that have been married for at least two years; three if it is a second marriage (Our Finally Home Adoption Program accepts single parents), are members of a Christian church " etc. so they do accept ALL DENOMINATIONS but you have to be Christian. Here we go again, Jews are unwanted. Agencies that are openly affiliated with Christianity will ALL reject minority religions such as Jews, Hindus etc. because unfortunately they have what I call a "hidden agenda". So I expected that, I would have been very surprised had it been otherwise. Somahkun, we have of course used a non-sectarian agency in our first adoption and just signed up with them again. I guess this how the second adoption is meant to happen. I firmly believe that there are reasons why things happen which we humans do not always understand in that very moment. Maybe there is a child out there that is meant to be mine by destiny, a supreme intelligence is working hard to bring us together and does not want to be interfered, LOL! :woohoo: millie58, I thought about this. It would be a national outrage if there was an adoption agency out there that would not accept adoptive parents based on their skin color. However, it is considered perfectly ok that adoption agencies do not accept adoptive parents based on religion. Why? Don't all agencies proclaim that they place children based on the child's best interest? If you put one and one together, the answer must be "the child's best interest is to be placed in a Christian home" and conversely "the child's best interest is not to be placed in a minority home". This thought is an act of, what I call, religious supremacy and is unconstitutional. This phenomenon is not unique to the unregulated private adoption sector: In Texas, the vast majority of agencies that place children through the foster care system require the adopters to be of the Christian faith. And you cannot do anything about it either! I think it would be useless to go to the media. Religious discrimination, as opposed to racial discrimination, finds a safe haven under the umbrella of "religious freedom" and as such cannot be challenged.

Oz - I feel your anger and I can somewhat understand it. When I was adopting, the "best interest of the child" was a two-parent home with a mother and a father. As a potential single adoptive parent, I applied in writing to 23 private agencies. Three were courteous enough to bother to reply. Two of the three said "No - because you are single".However, isn't there a difference between "religious discrimination" and "religious belief"? I see discrimination as "You can't adopt because you are Jewish" and belief as "We can't assist you in adopting because you are not Christian."Catholic Children's Home Charities all over the UK are closing their adoption programs because the government ordered them to accept applications from same-sex couples. The Catholic belief is that the same-sex lifestyle is against God's command and to place a child in such a lifestyle would not be in the best interest of the child. So, they are refusing to place any children. Agree or not, they are acting according to their beliefs.

If you notice an edit in your post it's due to agency discussion. Please remember that you cannot name the agency when discussing them and you need to be careful too how you allude to it on the public forums. Discuss practices...not names.:) If anyone wants more detail about the actual agency, then please PM. Thanks! Crick

Hey there Oz - so sorry this happened to you! I'm Jewish too. Adopted first time internationally, planning on doing domestic the 2nd time. There have been discussions here on the board in the past about agencies that don't discriminate based on religion. Maybe you want to go to the General Adoptive Parents thread, which gets a lot of traffic, and ask people to PM you with agency recommendations? They are definitely out there but can be hard to find. What I find particularly odd about your experience is that she asked if you celebrate the Christian holidays, and THEN hung up on you. I'm Jewish, but part of my family celebrates X-mas so yes, I celebrate some Christian holdays as well. Ummmmm . . . would that have somehow made me more acceptable to this agency? I go to a Synagogue and my daughter will get Bat Mitzvahed, but one day a year we go to a house with a Christmas tree and somehow I now fit your criteria? Very odd to me!

MamaS, I do actually not feel anger, I just (try to) analyze the irrational rationally :) I do not really care whether the wording is "we do not work with you because you are Jewish" or "we do not work with you because we are Christian", i.e. negative action or affirmative action. Both negative action ("we do not work with Jews") and affirmative action ("we work only with Christians") qualify as discrimination and whose outcome is exclusion of somebody because he/she is "not one of us". Discrimination in adoption misses the true purpose of a placement, namely acting in the child's best interest by providing a safe and loving home. I think that adoption and religion should not be tied together at all. Concerning "beliefs" we need to be careful because it potentially provides a golden opportunity to elegantly cover up everything and anything. Just imagine the possibility of somebody founding a religion whose "belief" it was that children should not be placed in families of color and opened an adoption agency! :eek: Saya, international adoption (unless the agency is Christian) is a very good choice for minority religions. Unfortunately, this option is not viable to me as I am permanent resident. The U.S. government prohibits international adoption from permanent residents, that's another good example of irrationality in adoption :) I have posted several posts on this forum on that very topic. In particular, my heart goes out to my Indian Hindu friends who are permanent residents in the United States and who are forced into domestic adoption. Can you begin to imagine how hard it is for a Hindu to get a domestic placement?! The person on the phone was taken aback when I told her that I take my son regularly to the Buddhist temple - he is of Cambodian descent - although I am Jewish. She then asked "do you celebrate all the Christian holidays?" and I said that I did not. In fact, I do not celebrate even one of them (and neither did Jesus, if I may add :)). You would not fit the criteria either because in order to qualify with this agency, you must celebrate ALL holidays. On a good note though, there is something out there for everyone. There are several fine non-sectarian agencies Our first son was adopted via a Utah agency and we are using them again now. :flower:

Wizard, that's what happened with MY family. My mother won't discuss being Jewish with anyone (she was 6 at the end of WWII). I didn't know I was Jewish until about age 11 when I started to ask questions of my Grandmother. Amazing!

Wizard, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I used to live in the "Bible Belt" and had my own experiences, good and bad. I found it very painful sometimes, meeting new people, making a good connection UNTIL they find out I'm Jewish. All over sudden I seem to sprout horns, cloven hooves and a tail.. If only these ignoramusses working for these agencies would realize just how home/family-oriented Judaism is, maybe they wouldn't be so quick to judge. I've lived in Israel for almost 9 years. DH and I adopted two little miracles locally. Much success with finding your second child!

Shai's Mom, I found out about my Jewish heritage only when I was 14 and so did my childhood friend. Our mothers were best friends, both went through WW2 and never wanted to be associated again with the word "Jew". It is useless to try to convince that generation that today it is safe to be a Jew. I made Aliyah to Israel soon after I learnt that I was Jewish, much to the dread of my mother. She still tries to convince me that I should convert to Christianity because she just fears for my life. I lived in Israel most of my life and now I live in the Bible Belt, just opposite to you, LOL! Naturally, I made Israeli friends but I also tried to reach out to the local population. I had some negative experiences as you did, namely some people being nice to me and then shunning me as soon as they learn that I do not go to church on Sundays.However, I also had very positive experiences. My son is of Cambodian descent and through his adoption I decided to learn more on Buddhism and Hindusim (Cambodian Buddhism is close to Hinduism). Over time, I developed a very good connection with the local Indian community and they received me with open arms. I even became a member of the local Hindu temple and I picked up the study of Sanskrit (their hole language, analogous to classic Hebrew). Who would have thought that! So as one door closes another opens, you always find your friends at the end. Congrats to your two kids! I hope the adoption process in Israel is easier these days. I wanted to adopt an Ethiopian girl locally in Israel but social services were very slow and then I moved to the U.S. so it did not come to pass.

We're not religious, and didn't even bother working with a slew of agencies because of the blaring "Christian only" attitude in their websites and literature. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Sorry, somehow my post didn't take... Your story is very interesting to read. My older son is of Russian descent and has this porcelain doll beauty, spiderman in disguise. My little one is half Ethiopian and half ???, and just - beatiful.. :). The adoption process went fairly easy, our boys were in-utero drug exposed, so they weren't easy to place. However, we had a professor of pediatric medicine evaluate their files and he gave them a clean bill of health. He was right and we couldn't be happier!! :) Happy Hanuka!