Significant other meeting placed child?

dvalentine- this is something I've sometimes pondered myself. I think it depends on so many different things. The relationship between you and your daughter, the relationship between you and your daughter's parents, the relationship between you and your boyfriend, your daughter's age etc. Its such an individual situation I dont really know how to answer the is this appropriate question. I think one way to approach it is to speak to the a parents in generalities to see how they feel about it before bringin up specifics. For instance having a conversation like, "at some point I'm probably going to settle down and when that happens it would be nice for my significant other to be involved in daughter's life like I am. At what point do you think introducing daughter to someone I'm dating is appropriate?" JMO Katja

Hiya, Well dvalentine I must say I felt the same way you did but I realized very quickly my daughter was very mature for her age and I also knew I loved my boyfriend to no end and saw my future with him and everything that was in it he supported me like no other on my child and the first day I met her was the first time I had seen her since the day she was born, my family is great and supportive but there is no security like the one your partner can give to you. My point is he went with me and it made my trip allot easier on me, only down side is we broke up 4 months later due to his infidelity to me..So ultimately I would say make sure on any decision you make no matter the future outcome will you be happy with your decision I am still very happy he went with me and would not change that for a moment but I wish I could have known we wouldnt have lasted cause then I would have done it alone ya see no regret, just indecision..So all the opinons and advice are great, i would suggest looking at how strong your bond with him is, cause it will be a part of your life you two will always share so on that i wish you the best of luck.. And also when i met my daughter she knew of me and only me never really heard much on her father if you read my story you will see why, she did get curious as to who her birthfather was so understand this could open a new door of questions for you as well make sure you look at all sides of this to protect yourself from question you may not be ready to answer then again i dont know your story so i could be way off and as for the adoptive family communication is always the key it cant hurt to ask how they feel but ultimately its you decision. xoxo:flower:

Dvalentine....I SO get what you're saying. I'm in an open adoption with my daughter and her Mom and I forsee someday introducing a significant other of mine to her. I think I would consider it like I would if I were a single parent: for ME, I would not introduce a child I was parenting to a significant other until it was VERY significant. I don't want each visit to include one in a string of men, or every once in a while. It would only be once I knew someone was going to be around for a very long while (or at least if that was my plan!)

I agree with every bit of what TG said here... And from an adoptive mom's POV, if you feel like it's time to introduce your sig. other, then gently broach the subject...Tell your child's aparents that you and your S/O are serious (if, in fact you are - I don't want to be presumptuous) and that you'd love it if he could meet them... This occurred with our youngest son's firstmom...She was/is in a serious, committed relationship. She asked if we she could bring her boyfriend to meet JD and the rest of our family...We were happy to meet him. Good luck!

I would say if your daughter is too small to understand who everyone is, then the intro should be ok....but unless you're engaged or living together, I wouldn't introduce your older child to him....Maybe start slow and introduce him to the aparents...since he is significant in your life.And just plain asking is the way to go. Preface it with: "So guess what, I've been seeing someone...he's XYZABC and it's looking pretty serious. I'd love to introduce him to you/let you meet him, do you think it would be a good idea to bring him with me to our next visit?"That way it's not pressuring, and it isn't distatsteful and pressuring the way that this would be: "Hi, I really want to show my new boyfriend my kiddo, would that be ok?"There's been several posts by amoms about how the bmom spends visits "showing off" to her friends, and it's less about her relationship with the child, than it is about her and her friends. You definately don't want it turn into that.And, I'm not saying that's what you're doing....I just want you to be aware it's an issue that's been brought up as a sensitivity.Good luck, and don't be shy!

Thanks for all your comments, it's definitely helped. My daughter is just short of one, and I've only had two visits with her so far. Her birthday is March 17th, so I'm going to see if I could bring my s/o for her birthday visit. We're living together, and it's (hopefully!) a long term thing. Thanks again!