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has anyone else had really negative experiences with a birthmom? our son's has always been passive aggressive and manipalitive and from day one it's always seemed to be all about her. for visits she always expects us to do all the traveling and we always feel like she is trying to work us over for money. And conversations are always centered on her and not our son. She also tries to parent our son at our last visit and did not put him down when he asked to be put down and was calling out my name. she also speaks about her other child being his sibling. we have another child who we consider to be our son's sibling. I really don't want to be rude and yet when i am sublte with her the subtely is always lost. my son is also autistic and she has said very insensitive and inappopriate things. i am at a loss at what to do other than to start being brutally direct with her
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Wow what a tough situation! I would say if you have an adoptiong agency I would go back to them for support or if you have a lawyer see what can be done about your visits,etc. In the end you have to do what's right for your child and if that means being brutally honest than you may to resort to that. I hope you can work something out with your bmom. Good luck!
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You say that your son is autistic, could she also be on the spectrum? It would explain her lack of picking up social cues, etc. At any rate, most likely you will need to discuss appropriate boundaries.
I regards to her son, they are siblings. Different relationship than the one he lives with but siblings just the same.
I was wondering about whether she may be on the spectrum as well. You can also be upfront and honest without being brutal. I don't think you meant it that way, but I know it's also easy to go from "too subltle" to too direct when I get frustrated and that it's important to remember there's an in-between. I like compassionately direct rather than brutally honest.