single mommas ....a question about the choice to have more

Funny you all should mention Plenty of Fish and e-harmony. I've tried both. I'm in the waiting phase right now and haven't been matched with a birthmom or baby. Although my dating profile clearly says I want kids it also says (honestly) that I don't have any. I just met someone on Plenty of Fish (it's early but it may have some potential). Now I'm in a bind. I have to tell him I'm in the process of adopting. Hopefully, if he's the right one, he won't run away! I guess if he does run away, he's definitely not the right one. lol As to the original question, I've always wanted at least 3 kids. Now that I'm 41 years old and still single, I'm not sure that will happen. I guess I'll have to see how I feel after baby #1.

I personally don't say anything to anyone that they don't need to know.......that way if it doesn't work I haven't let anything out that is personal. I figure I don't owe anyone any disclosures until they have earned it. Its probably strange but that's just how I feel.

I was dating a younger guy when I was placed with my son. It was not really serious and he knew I was awaiting a placement. It only lasted a short time after I brought my son home. I honestly just didn't have the time to deal with a man because I wanted to spend all of my time with my baby. I didn't date for a while after I brought home my kids. I just couldn't do both at the same time. At least not put in the time a new relationship requires. As far as dating now goes, I'm kind of stuck in this wierd place. Part of me wants to date a single dad because they know what it's like to have to share your time with kids AND I don't have to worry about a man wanting a bio child. I'm not infertile to my knowledge but my kidneys are failing AGAIN and it would be dangerous to carry a child. But part of me does not want to deal with baby mama drama either. Boy, would I love to meet a man who adopted as a single person or has sole custody of his child. LOL! I feel like I have to put everything out on the table right from the get go so I don't get my hopes up with someone who is not a good match. On my dating profile I pretty much say that I have two kids through adoption and that one thing I cannot deal with is racism. I have pics of me and my kids (with their faces blocked out) so men can see that I have AA kids. I don't like waisting my time. I prefer dating black men for that reason, and...well, because I'm attracted to black men. Soooo, we'll see. I don't really search anymore. I just leave the profile up and I check out the guys who email me. Then I respond if I'm interested.

Thanks Bethany. I was wondering about singleparentmeet - so many of the guys in my area seem just kind of creepy though. One was called spankme and lots of the others are weird too. So I wondered if there were good ones in there. Maybe I will try it - like the idea of single dads. I hope your match works out. Just like adoption, it only takes one, right!

If I ever do get married, I always said he needs to be a single dad (no mom in the picture) with lots of kiddos for me to love (yes, I want an instant family)

Yup, it only takes one. I just kind of take things slow and go with the flow. I don't get my hopes up too high. I am actually not putting as many limits on guys as I used to. I figure it's now or never as far as marriage goes. I'm half way to forty and I'm thinking I don't have much time left. LOL! I have only ever met one man who had sole custody of his child over the years. We just were not a good match. Men parenting kids alone is hard to find but that would be ideal for me. I have dated a lot of creeps along the way. I have had many internet dates where I wanted to sneak out the back door. I had one crazy guy who came down from Georgia and when I told him I just wanted to be friends he had a temper tantrum and began crying! Then he called me several times yelling at me and I had to call the cops. Oh yeah...the stories I could tell.

[QUOTE=cynthia900] One was called spankme and lots of the others are weird too. QUOTE] LOL!! I have seen some weird names too like big daddy and looking for fun but what really creeps me out is when they have pictures of their naked chests wearing close to nothing.

Oh yeah. I had a guy send me a message the other day and his main photo was of him making a muscle move in a string bikini. :eek: The guy's face was gorgeous but I could NEVER date a guy who wore a string bikini. Or how about the guys who take a picture of themself by pointing their camera at the bathroom mirror?:confused: And they are just staring with no smile and a toilet behind them? Oh, too funny!

I had one who offered to email me some "fun pictures" as if the one of his naked chest wasn't enough. I blocked his profile right away.:grr:

ROFL...you gals are too much.

I've always known I wanted more than one child. I've imagined my life with three girls. I had planned on adopting two more, with each adoption two or three years apart. The month my dd turned one, I made the first call to my state's adoption hotline. I knew it would take a while to be matched with a young child. Four years later, I'm still waiting to be matched. I feel like the clock ticking and think I'm done when this process is over. So unless I'm matched with a sibling group of two, I'll be content with adopting only one more child.

Not to totally hijack Dannie's thread or anything but if anyone is interested in trying eharmony, it is free this weekend.

Thanks for sharing!! It tried it once before and made some good friends. Plenty of Fish is completely free if anyone wants to check it out as well.

no worries on hijacking....that's awesome, thanks for the hints ;)

When I first started out - I planned on adopting 3 or 4 kids. I'm currently in the process of adopting my foster daughter who's been with me for a year and a half. Even though I would still love to adopt another 2 or 3 kids, I don't think that's going to be possible for me, financially. I definitely want one more though. I had a foster son who stayed with us for about a month, and my daughter was sooo in love with him. It really made me realize how much I want to have another child, for HER, even more than for myself. So, I'm just sitting here (a little impatiently) waiting for another foster placement. :)