Santa Clause!?

Kids today are much smarter. I told mine that Santa works with mommys and daddys to get the gifts. Last year, they heard the truth. L, who came home at 6, was already told Santa didn't exist.

I like Millie's response, but I also think that there is no harm in "allowing" a child to believe in Santa, especially when they are very young and have already endured quite a bit of trauma in their young life. I was raised in a Catholic home, and while I knew the origins of the Santa story when I was very young, I still believed in Santa for awhile. It's part of childhood - and I know our church addressed the issue of "Is Santa 'okay' or not?" and many families "allowed" talk of Santa without necessarily promoting it - know what I mean? Kids need to be kids - I know many, many Christian and [strict] Catholic families who do not encourage belief in Santa but also do not prohibit it, as it IS something that kids grow out of. I see it this way - kids need something to believe in, especially kids who have gone through a lot like the children you may ultimately adopt. Santa represents magic; he is - in the eyes of children - someone who is absolutely devoted to bringing joy to children all over the world. Santa gives kids a connection to OTHER kids across the globe, too, you know? My parents are "very practicing Catholics" but I was "allowed" to believe in Santa until I ultimately decided that he was not "real." I think that there is less of a potential conflict than you might believe.

I worried for 2 decades over the same subject. We are southern Baptist and my husbands family did not do Santa. However he and all his brothers and sisters did. I worried that if they found out Santa wasn't real they would think neither is God. However my final decision and I have 2 saved children (21 and 15) is God is in our life daily and Santa for a short period each year. It is such a magical time I do not want to take that away from (my now 3 year old). So as we did with the older 2 when she finds out we point out the differences and how Santa WAS real at some point and that a little makebelieve has already been in their life. I don't tell them their imaginary friend is not real. I don't tell them unicorns and fairytales don't exsist. I don't tell them that when they are sitting in their room pretending to be a major league baseball player that is not real. Hey this parenting thing is full of rights and wrongs, unfortunately we don't know the wrong way till be have done something wrong. Then we correct it.

Let me Clarify, I realize the benefits of teaching children about Santa. It can be a very big part of their development, teaching them how to be imaginative, allowing them to play and make believe. We considered it with our son. However, in our family we already do a lot of playing and making up stories, pretending, imagining, making a fortress in the living room and figuring out whether or not cardboard or plastic is a safe bridge to cross boiling lava, ect. . . We play make believe and pretend to be animals and other people and make up stories, so we did not feel that it was necessary for our son's development or harmful to his being a child because we make up for it in so many other ways. I have no problem with Santa or a child believing in Santa, I love the story and we still celebrate Santa and watch the Tim Allan Santa Clause movies and read The Night before Christmas, ect. . After spending Christmas with my sister who taught her kids that Santa was real (still believing at 8 & 10) I just couldn't stand the lies. It wasn't that important to us and didn't seem necessary to teach him when we make up for it in other ways. I remember When I found out at age 5 asking, "Mommy, why didn't you just tell me?" So our son still knows who Santa is, but does believe in the whole modern day story. My problem is, what happens when our adopted children come into our home (our son will be 4) and they believe, but he doesn't. Do I try to preserve their beliefs or tell them the truth or what? Again, I'm not trying to decide whether or not to teach Santa, but how to manage a potentially divide house hold. When the youngest doesn't believe, but the older children do.

We have a rule in our household that Santa only visits the kids who believe in him. My 12 year-old plays along really well pretending he believes - so he can keep getting Santa presents AND because it's really fun for his little sister. It works for us!