Reunited with my birthson

Hello to all of you I know it's been a while since I have been on here. I was doing my searches and then got very depressed so I needed a break from reading all the other posts so I just took some time off. I recieved a letter in the mail that said confidential and the address was from IRSS. OMG my hands start to shake like crazy I open the letter and she thinks she has found my match. She gave me her phone number her name is Marri and I called her and she wasn't at her desk so I kept calling she probably thought I was crazy or something that's how I felt at the time until I spoke to her. She did her thing asking me all the questions she needed and then called him and did the same thing with him I guess then she called me back and asked me a real weird question if I had answered it right she had found my birthson I answered the question exactly right word from word so she knew right away the only one who would have known that was me and I guess him. She asked me if it was ok to give him my information I said deffinitley she could do anything she wanted and she did and then she called me back and asked me if I wanted his info. of course I wanted it and she told me he would call me at 10:00 the next morning but at 8:00 my phone wrang I just knew it had to be him and low and behold it was I was in the bathroom and I called him right back and we talked for the longest time I told him I would be an open book for him and I would answer any questions he had wanted to know all these years. So he asked and I answered no lies the truth all the way weather ugly or pretty the truth is the truth. He told me he'd keep intouch. So we talked and I gave him his bio brothers phone numbers they talked to him for a long time and not once either. So my other kids decided to come here for Thanksgiving. One thing after another and he finally came with a whole group of all family. My 2 sons and their loved ones and their kids just 2 it could have been more if my son brought his daughters. His mother invited us over for Thanksgiving and we said yes. I was so scared my real first face to face meeting with him I am happy that everything went so good. Today my boys went back home I have 3 boys and 1 girl besides the children I gave up for adoption. OK Now Bobby and Chris live together with their families they have a huge house I am supposed to be moving there soon. SO I said until this happened now I don't have a clue on what I should do anymore. How am I feeling since everything quieted down and everybody went home? I am full of emotions so many to many to count I am happy, sad scared, depressed, overwhelmed, guilty feeling all of the above it's hard to put my finger on just one I wanted to hold him in my arms to make up for the 25 years but everybody knows that's not possible. He had the best parents his father passed away this month 2 years ago. I won't say anything about his bio fahter. I gave Mike his phone number and we made a date to all go fishing before the boys left to go home and they got back home this morning thank God. I need help because one minute I am crying and the next minute I feel happy that he had the best of the best he's known he was adopted since he was 8 years old and he decided to look for me talk about a total gift from God I am so thank full but I don't want to be pushy and call him all the time I don't even know how much is to much I am feeling so overwhelmed right now tears are flowing and I can't make them stop but I know they will I am so happy when the guys got together on Thanksgiving they talked about everything growing up and they said he had it good because we had it good and bad nobody is perfect I am a recovering alcoholic and I have been sober for almost 8 years which I am so happy for that wow I said I was proud of myself that's a huge step for me. I don't know what is normal? How much should I call him? I just don't know what's right and wrong. I talk to his mother more then I talk to him I thanked her for being a beautiful great mother to him and I started that first because I didn't raise him she did I am so aware of that it's not funny and he's very close to his mother and sister I would never want to rock the boat between anybody and I am not trying to jump in and be Mommy all of a sudden I love him with all my heart and all 3 boys look so muh alike Mike was doing something and I saw him from the back and I said Chris what are you doing? He turned around and said wrond brother or son my face must have turned beet red. PLease help me with anybody who had reunited with their birthchild what do I do next. I am so scared of him not wanting anything to do with me but I know it's not like that but I don't wantto seem cold because I'm not a cold person either I am at a total loss right now and I have no clue of what to do next and I need help. I called the crisis center to speak to a counselor and they sent some counselor over here to my house to see how I was doing. I thought that was kind of crazy and we were on our way to his house. They have a cat I am so allergic to cats but I never said a word because I know the guys were outside talking and doing the male bonding thing so I stayed in the house with him mother and we talked and she got out a box and we went threw his childhood pictures which was so great I ouldn't have picked a better mother for him myself that was a GOD thing GOD knew right where he needed to go and he did a very good job and am I a little jealous of her yes I am I know I shouldn't be at all she raised him and loved him so much but I did feel a little bit jealous I'm being so truthfull right now and since I was contacted by him life is way to short not to know the truth about your life growing up. If he only knew how I grew up I prayed that somebody came into my house and adopted me my mother was a drug addict until she died and life with her wasn't so good so I got addicted to running away from home. If anybody has any advise it would help me so much please I need advise I don't want to mess anything up. He is such a beautiful person and he's got a great girlfriend and they are getting married next year. I am so happy that I got that phone call and then met him we really didn't talk much on Thankgiving because there was so many people there and he hung out with his brothers. I just need help if anybody has any advise it would help me so much thanks again!!:cheer: