still grieveing

I didn't give my children up at birth either I raised them.until my son was 8yrs old my oldest daughter was 5yrs old an my youngest daughter was 3 yrs old. That's why its so hard for me to forgive myself.I hope that one day to find them an they understand why Idid give them up.but there's is not a day that goes by that I don't think about them.an most nights I still cry myself to sleep.

((Hugs)) to you.

Just ask my B mom she seemed to get over pretty easy. I'd ask her but she and I haven't talked since we met one time 18 years ago. Just the fact that your greive shows that you are a kind and feeling person and I hope you can lead a productive happy life. Warm regards.

You never get over it. Get help and it will get better dont wait tell they come knocking at your door. I know the loss by adoption and by death and it is hard to deal with. I put 3 kids up for adoption and I miss them so much. I just got reunited with one after 18 years and it is wonderfull to have him back in my life. He has become a good man and is in the marines. I still have not found the other 2 kids but I hope I will. Best wishes Julie

You never get over it no matter how hard you try.people say that time heals all wounds but not this kind.another that put up their children just keep the pain inside.im sorry to hear that you an your bmom haven't spoken in such a long time.I hope that she comes an wants you back in her life.

To all Birth moms from an adoptee:If there is long term grief and loss for b-moms, it is equally as hard for adoptees.The grief and loss that lurks in those of us given up to adoption is equally deep and ongoing.Many of us given up will search all our lives because we can't end our story...and even if we could, those who have reunited have indicated that "finding" and re-union does not wash away the sentence of adoption.B-moms giving up their children, gave them up based on the best information provided at the time.They cannot be blamed for the events that happened during their time. It was a different era and most had no freedom to choose what few options were available.For B-moms to review painful circumstances with a different pair of eyes and after a number of years is unreasonable. Many of the same rules don't apply.It is unfair for them now to hold themselves to a higher standard than what they were able to do at the time. Now there are adoption options available not possible when those b-moms had a need. Additionally, even though there is no contact, the bond between b-mom and a child never ends. Adoption sites are full of the stories of b-moms and children searching for each other. Each side never knowing the other was involved in a search.So B-moms, wherever you are, don't give up on us ...all we hope for is that you will continue your love and hold us close.I wish you the best.

That's true a bond between a mother an child never ends.it d:rockband: oesn't matter how long it takes I will not give up on my children.I have 6 years until my oldest will be 18.an the day he does is when my search will begin im hopping he will understand why I had to give him an his two sisters up.if he accepts me back in his life when they get old enough they will to.

I will search tell I find my oldest 2 kids. I have been searching sence they turned 18 and my oldest is 23. in June he will be 24 and my second one will be 23 in september. My son and daughter has never left my mind and never will, I have my 20 year old son and its great to have him back in my life. I only hope they want to find me. I look at photos of them all the time and miss them. Their birth Dad also feels the same way and he is trying to find them also. A birth mom never forgets and it is hard to give up a baby you carried for 9 months or raised for a few years. I bet all moms would agree. Julie

It's been 21 years and I still have no idea how to move on. My sons adoption was handled by Stanley Michelman and from what I can piece together the couple I chose were sent to get the baby and return him to NY where he was sold to the highest bidder. I didn't protect him, I was stupid and ignorant and believed all their lies. I'm afraid to look because I fear he's dead.

Iamaloser...all I can offer is the hope and support that you will search. As an adoptee I also was sold into adoption and for 50 years I have searched.I never believed anyone would find and so far it's true.All adoptees have hope. The younger adoptees have new hope that things are different...that now there are new ways to search and find -- and above all that someone is searching for us.The success stories from FB alone indicate people searching for others do "find" and re-unite.As a long lost adoptee I can't urge you enough to search. Your son is at the age where he will begin to start linking a search to a b-mom connection...perhaps he is already searching for you. All he needs is the information link to find a pathway home.To hope and search without fear is all we have.I wish you the best.

To all bmoms don't ever think that your losers. Your not we all have reasons why we gave our babies up. I found a site that had my sons name an birthday on it.I also got a letter an picture from the adoptive parents.they are going to let me see them im so excited I hope they keep their word an not back out.I have prayed for so long for this but leaving them again will be the hardest part.please don't give up on your son he is out there some where's. If he knows he was adopted im sure he is looking for you to.I wish you the best in your search for your parents. Best wishes

you dont get over it i placed my 3rd child for adoption due to lack of support from father and family my life has been a living nightmare the father's family have the my other 2 kids(twins) which i have to pay his mother child support its just horrible im 35 now and have never been to completely move on with my life

I was lucky enough to be reunited. it took 31 years. we can't make up for lost time but we have started fresh and are quite smitten. He was so glad to hear that I celebrated his birthday each year and always hoped to be reunited, good luck!

You NEVER get over it. For those who search & don't find one another, remember, there are so many sites on which someone may search or post. Many can't do it over & over, they put the info out once & hope for the best. Try many places. I tried a site for my own state first, no realizing my son had grown up elsewhere and didn't think to look there. Just because you haven't gotten a response doesn't mean the other isn't looking! or just hoping...

My son had always known he was adopted. When we met I was able to give him a journal from the year he was born. it explained who I was, who his father was and the circumstances that surrounded us. I hope you keep a journal and keep in mind you child may read it some day. It could help you both to understasn who you are and what happened ... in the beginning. I always looked for my son in the faces of children his age (at the time) I always looked for his fathers face. The good news is... my son looks ( and acts ) just like me !!! I also agree with the other moms who suggested you become the best you can be... for yourself and everyone you love including your child.