ICPC Riverside CA to WA

They are so, so short staffed right now. And they also have a bunch of new social workers who have no idea what is going on & are still learning the ropes. I'm a foster parent and have had a really hard time getting information about the children I have in my care. They don't work Fridays so don't expect anything to happen from Thursday afternoon to mid-Monday. So this is what I'd do: 1. Call TODAY and leave a voicemail message with the current social worker and ask her to call you ASAP. Be NICE - they can be really finicky and less likely to help you out if they get annoyed. I know this isn't right, but its the truth. 2. On Monday find out who your social worker's supervisor is. DO NOT go above her head, but get the info in case you need to. 3. Find out who the judge assigned to your nephew's case is. Write the judge a letter. There is a form you can fill out to correspond with the judge. I don't know the form #, but write to the judge explaining you are the biological aunt and how you'd like to foster/adopt whatever your situation is... I would write monthly reports to your judge about what you are doing to prepare for baby: getting room ready, fingerprints, CPR classes, taking parenting classes, clothes, formula, ANYTHING that looks good for you & providing a stable home. 4. Contact your social worker in your office in WA. Explain the situation and ask her to help you ASAP. Your social worker might have connections or insight to help you get the ball rolling as quickly as possible. 5. When the social worker calls you back, ask if you can give your contact information to the foster parent and have them call you to discuss baby's situation. I've found that MOST of the time foster parents know a lot more about the baby's situation than the social workers. If you have an accommodating foster parent that is willing to share information with you, the process will be so much easier. It doesn't hurt to sweet talk the foster parents in any way you can - offer to send some special clothes for the baby, pictures, ANYTHING! 6. When you've got in touch with the social worker, kiss a$$ do not piss her off. Sorry, but I'm just telling it like it is. Explain that you'll do anything to help out and ask what the next steps are. She might have no idea, but do not take no for an answer. Ask if you can speak to someone else who knows the process. 7. Not sure what kind of a relationship you have with the baby's mom but ask her to call the social worker and get information. She can be told many more things than you can. If she is willing to call in and get info for you this is a huge help. 8. Lastly, if you can afford to there are lawyers that can help expedite this process much faster. You don't have to become a fully licensed foster parent like I did in order to foster your biological nephew. You are called a Kinship placement and you ALWAYS receive preference to keep baby in the family despite your distance. This process is much faster for you to gain placement. Good luck! Let me know if there is anything else I can help with.

THISMOMMYLIFE,Thank you for your reply. I was begining to think that there was no one out there to offer any help.I finally talked to sw in Riverside. She said she was talking to her supervisor and then to the manager. Unfortunately again manager is not in. She said she would start the ICPC paper work at the same time as were the baby is now. Turns out that the baby is with his under 3 years old half brother. The brothers have different dads so the only tie is to eachother. In your experience does someone who has adopted a child and now has had a half sibling placed (as foster-adopt) have any prefrence than a blood relative? By the time I found out about the older child almost 3 yrs ago, he was already adopted. Turned out the guy who adopted him was a brother of the father who passes away. Birth mother says they had a good lawyer and money. Thge child now now has two dads and no mom. Should I worry about this? If we have to tout our money,I will not win. We do well for ourselves, but nothing like loads of money sitting around for lawyers and travel.The SW in Riverside seem very helpful. But she says at this point I have no rights, I can't even get an email address at this point. I am continuing on with the licensing process for washington state. I had my initial interview. The licenser hurt her ankle on the way over so she did not do the inspection part. Have to reschedule that part. The next two Fridays and Saturdays I have PRIDE classes. Finger prints were done for all members of the family 18+ last week. Background checks were done in last two months.You said I should contact the foster family. SW says they are confidential so I can't contatct them. Not sure I would want to talk to them any way at this point. I did get the court contact info. The SW said I could write if I wanted to. She said she would be introducing me to the court. Not sure if writing before she does will do more harm or what? Today I went online to my cell provider and copied down every time I had a call to or from the SW office. Sorry for ramling so much. I really appreciate any help you might be able to offer!

the 2 children are considered blood relatives to eachother....so the placed child most likely has just as much right to having the baby placed with him that you do. we adopted a little one from riverside county,and then a few years later a half sibling come into care. because they shared a parent, it was considered a relative placement into my home.

the 2 children are considered blood relatives to eachother....so the placed child most likely has just as much right to having the baby placed with him that you do. we adopted a little one from riverside county,and then a few years later a half sibling came into care. because they shared a parent, it was considered a relative placement into my home.

This makes me sad. Hope is disappearing.

i'm sorry :( don't give up yet....you never know.

Just so I understand, the baby is a half sibling to big brother who has been adopted? And while not a blood relative to adopted parents, has been living in their foster home for some time now? Foster parents live in Riverside County, have previous experience adopting through them, have bonded with baby, have money and could afford attorneys... You sound really nice and obviously care for this baby, but I must pose the question, what is best for baby at this time? If you still feel like pursuing adoption, go for it. Hope is not lost but it sounds like it could be a battle. I would definitely, definitely write to the court. Just introducing yourself and stating that you care for the child, want a relationship and to ensure he is well taken care of. That way it could go anywhere from there... Just keep baby's best interests at heart. And again, I'd suggest you reach out to the foster family (even if you have reservations). The SW is correct, she cannot give you their information, but what I meant to suggest was that you ask the social worker to pass your phone number or email to the foster family. I believe you are a blood relative to both boys? Just ask for a contact and that you want to make sure the boys are happy & healthy. You might find they are in a good family? You might be able to have a relationship with the adoptive parents and have an "open adoption" just in that you can contact them and have some type of relationship in the future. Good luck!

I am being realistic when I say I think my chances are slim to none. But I am not giving up hope. I am almost licensed (for the state of WA). Two more classes and CPR for hubby. My hubby got kind of mad when I told him how disappointed I was. He said don't give up. A new friend at the foster care classes (possibly?) offered me some frequent flyer miles to go for a vist or court. I had never thouhgt of this idea. I just thought that I have no extra money so the idea was pretty much dead. I will have to look into this idea, even if not from this couple. Then I would just have to rent a car and a place to stay for a night or two. If this child came to live with us, he would know his other siblings. There are a total including him 7. He would get to know all but one for sure. The older brother that just older than the one he lives with got adopted and I don't know were he is. (He is 4 now). But he does have one sister and three older brothers. Also a ton of cousins, a couple more sets of grand parents and even a great grandma! He wouldn't be lacking for the family ties, relationships or stories. I wish I would have known about the other children. This makes three children that the rest of the family will never know. It is hard not to ever get to see them or know of them...

well please come back and keep us updated. :)