Cannot Wait For This Baby!!!!!

I think the fact that you can talk openly about different skin colors is great, it'll be good for your child to know that it's something you can talk about. When I was waiting I noticed the variety of skin colors of black babies & wondered which shade mine would be. We ended up with a girl with a beautiful dark chocolate color & every day I tell her how pretty she is & what a beautiful color she is. I remember feeling the way you do, I hope your wait isn't as long as ours was!

I might suggest that your daughter be told to be careful about how she explains the 'colors' of her 'new-to-be sib. While that kind of discussion might be alright in the home, it CAN be taken the wrong way out of the home, KWIM? As far as having a 'mixed baby'.........I would try to drop the term, 'mixed'. One agency we dealt with suggested the term, 'multi-racial'. I take it one step further and say, 'multi-ethnic' (because there truly IS ONLY ONE race, KWIM?) I always think---when someone says 'mixed' of a 'mixed drink'; or that someone's genetic make-up is 'mixed up' as in 'crazy', KWIM? :) And the fact is, we're ALL MIXED for that matter! There *are* no pure forms of color or ethnicities.....and so with that, I'd simply say your new-to-be baby 'will more than likely be 'multi-ethnic'' with beautiful skin---regardless of what hue s/he may be. :) Good luck! Sincerely, Linny

I would avoid the color labels too simply because who knows how she will look? There are many bi-racial children who are very light and people would think they are caucasian and then there are bi-racial children who are very dark. My bi-racial daughter has a very dark complexion...I wouldn't call her caramel, I would says she is much closer to cocoa!! Best of luck and I hope your wait is short.

It sounds to me like you are very well prepared. I spent quite a bit of time studying the history of black Americans. It is so unique that I think a basic understanding of it can help in all kinds of ways. I have tried to include my kids, to some extent, as a family, of course, not just directed at the black or biracial kids. Reading your post reminded me of a time, probably 14 years ago, when my kids were talking about what "Flavor" everyone was. They came up with marshmallow, caramel, butterscotch, vanilla, milk chocolate, and dark chocolate. They've always spoken very openly about such things, which I have tried to foster. I went to high school and college in Hawaii. My high school was less than 10% caucasian, which I loved. Race, or "nationality", which is what they usually called it, is interesting, but not usually any more than that. People often pride themselves on being able to meet someone and guess what their background is. There are many, many multiracial people there. There was at least one slang and/or Hawaiian name for every group. None were derogatory unless preceded by profanity. That is what I have tried to foster with my kids. There are times that things we say at home might be misconstrued by people who don't know us, but I try to point them out. Another thing I have always done is make sure that we have a multiracial doll population, have people of various colors depicted in art work, books, magazines, Christmas decorations, etc.. Some things you have do some searching for. When Joseph was six, we were getting out the Christmas stuff and he said, "Mom, I want a black Santa Claus". I had to go a ways to find one, but we have had him out every year for a decade now.I hope you get your baby soon, too! I adore babies and always have! I have an 11 week old grandson that I can't get enough of, although I can sure tell I'm getting old. I spent about 15 years with someone in my left arm 60% of the time but, when he's awake, I don't last for more than about fifteen minutes hauling him around.

As a aa woman I appreciate it when people refer to me as caramel or late color. Last time I checked I wasn't black lol. Also porcelin is such a nice term for cauc. I may use it myself. Very gentile

We always refer to our little guy as milk chocolate. It's such a beautiful color. My daughter who is 24, is worried that her children will never be as beautiful a color as her little brother :)

My daughter is about the same color as your son. We call her color chocolate, cinnamon, gingersnap, & brown sugar. I think her color is beautiful too, & I know me with my pasty white skin (what Sol317 would call "porcelain" which is much more attractive sounding than "pasty," lol) & my husband who is less pasty but still white could never have made a baby with this beautiful coloring!

This book is AWESOME: [url=http://www.amazon.com/Shades-Black-Celebration-Our-Children/dp/0439148928/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1308628444&sr=8-1]Amazon.com: Shades of Black: A Celebration of Our Children (9780439148924): Sandra L. Pinkney, Myles C. Pinkney: Books[/url] And it just reminded me I haven't seen our copy in at least a month, so I need to check under the sofa. :) As a small baby Cam loved looking at the kids, and around the 13 months mark she became fascinated with only the books that had pictures of real people...this book has gotten a lot of toddler love. :love:

Just the other day my four year old (AA) was sitting on my lap at the park and looked down at my legs (which to be fair haven't seen the sun since last august! lol) and said; "Oh, this is why they call you white!" I told him I was just pale! lol My three compare their colors all the time and he has gotten darker already in the summer sun and he likes it because he is the "brownest one." They all know the proper terms like AA, CA, etc. and what is meant by a black person. I had a 15 yo biracial girl who had been fostered in all white homes and raised in a small town by a white mom that when she was here she finally began to embrace her whole self. They knew that she was both CA and AA, but my friends son is lighter and he has to AA parents, so they talk all in tones not ethnicity!

Another really good book, especially for babies is "Brown Sugar Babies" by Charles Smith Jr. It has photographs of black & biracial babies & their parents & a rhyme comparing their colors to brown treats like brown sugar, chocolate, peanut butter, carob, caramel, cinnamon, & honey.

I just saw that book for the first time at the library yesterday! It was beautiful. Another book that uses those kinds of labels to describe different shades of skin is The Colors of Us by Karen Katz. I also have to second the recommendation for Shades of Black. Wonderful language and photographs of Black children of many different skin tones. It's a lovely book.There is a difference between descriptive labels and labels we use to define race. Personally, I think it's fine to use both. We refer to David as Black or African American and ourselves as White. We also describe him as having beautiful chocolate brown skin and - using terms from the books - his mommies as honey and peach. Becky is right, though, that even if the baby is biracial, you never know what his/her skin tone will be! My kiddo is mixed race and has gorgeous cocoa brown skin. We were surprised when we got in contact with his bgrandma recently and discovered that she was white! Linny - I don't use the term mixed, but I've heard many AA people use it in a very matter-of-fact way. Not at all as if it were derogatory or offensive. We've been asked many times (more when he was a baby) if David was "mixed" - the assumption being that he is part Asian. The question always comes from either AA or Asian people. So among many people, it seems like it's a perfectly acceptable term for "mixed race." At least here, anyway. I know things like that can vary depending on where you are.

I think, much like our Matthew, your best response would be to say that David isn't 'mixed', he's "perfect" :)