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:wings: I was adopted by two loving parents in the 1950s that could not have children. My story started way before. My birthmother fell in love with a military man who loved to go to the Latin clubs to dance. Because he was Mexican and she was Jewish, they were forbidden by her parents to date. They wanted to marry and she got pregnant. She was put in a home for unwed mothers until I was born and he returned to California. After I was born he came back to MA to resume the relationship and start a family. She had already met someone else on a rebound and I was put up for adoption. A closed adoption. 30 years ago, I found my birthmother. We both were searching for each other and we met through a group called Orphans Voyage. A reunion was scheduled and I was introduced to my two half sisters. They have been a part of my family ever since. My adoptive parents were not open at first but after my father past away, mother was open to meet and establish a relationship with my birthmother. Many years later, my children prompted me to find my birthfather especially since the age of internet is available for all. 3 months after I started my search, I was contacted by a worker from City Hall in Seattle. She found him!! After 4.5 years of communicating by phone we finally me. He was unable to come out East since his wife is not accepting to the situation. I was told that she was never informed about me and it took him 9 years to get over my birthmother and me. He had moved on with his life. He is so estatic about our reunion but is afraid to tell him two children, ages 42 and 44. I want to meet my other brother and sister and feel they have a right to know. I do not want to hurt my birthfather. The four days we spent together were so wonderful and I miss him terribly already since I have been home. He feels the same. My husband, who joined me on my venture, is so happy for us. He can't understand why his wife is so against this relationship. We are already grandparents! So I put it out there. What should I do, if anything or should I just be thankful that I have found both of my parents and at least have a relationship with two of my four siblings.
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Rights is NOT the issue here in my opinion. Of course you DO have a right to contact anyone you want and tell anyone that you want....after all it wasn't YOU who relinquished your rights. What YOU have to decide is what is more important to you..a relationship with your birth father who has trusted you not to contact his other children who in turn will most likely tell their mom OR a possible relationship with his children who just might want nothing to do with you. Is contacting your siblings worth possibly doing irreparable damaged? It is natural for you to want your birth father to prove his love for you by coming clean with his family. You really just met. give him time.... "Dont spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for."
Johnnysgirl
:wings: I was adopted by two loving parents in the 1950s that could not have children. My story started way before. My birthmother fell in love with a military man who loved to go to the Latin clubs to dance. Because he was Mexican and she was Jewish, they were forbidden by her parents to date. They wanted to marry and she got pregnant. She was put in a home for unwed mothers until I was born and he returned to California. After I was born he came back to MA to resume the relationship and start a family. She had already met someone else on a rebound and I was put up for adoption. A closed adoption. 30 years ago, I found my birthmother. We both were searching for each other and we met through a group called Orphans Voyage. A reunion was scheduled and I was introduced to my two half sisters. They have been a part of my family ever since. My adoptive parents were not open at first but after my father past away, mother was open to meet and establish a relationship with my birthmother. Many years later, my children prompted me to find my birthfather especially since the age of internet is available for all. 3 months after I started my search, I was contacted by a worker from City Hall in Seattle. She found him!! After 4.5 years of communicating by phone we finally me. He was unable to come out East since his wife is not accepting to the situation. I was told that she was never informed about me and it took him 9 years to get over my birthmother and me. He had moved on with his life. He is so estatic about our reunion but is afraid to tell him two children, ages 42 and 44. I want to meet my other brother and sister and feel they have a right to know. I do not want to hurt my birthfather. The four days we spent together were so wonderful and I miss him terribly already since I have been home. He feels the same. My husband, who joined me on my venture, is so happy for us. He can't understand why his wife is so against this relationship. We are already grandparents! So I put it out there. What should I do, if anything or should I just be thankful that I have found both of my parents and at least have a relationship with two of my four siblings.
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