Starting over again

Congratulations on your decision to add more children to your family. We have 8 children who were all adopted. Our oldest is turning 21 soon. We have recently updated our homestudy in hopes of adding another child younger than our youngest son who just turned 8. Our older children are far more reserved about the idea of changing the family dynamics this time. It has been 8 years since our youngest came home as an infant. It is difficult for them to picture our family with someone that they didn't grow up with. Even though they have reservations, they are supportive of adopting again so that their little brother can experience the same kind of companionship they have had. Good luck with your plans!

My kids were 14, 13 and 12 and 8 when we brought home the girls (nb and 12 months). Our oldest two were somewhat less than thrilled at first, however it has been a wonderful experience to raise teens and toddlers together. They all adore each other.

In total, we've adopted six infants. The oldest is now 31yrs; the youngest is almost 3yrs. As someone else stated, the older kids were okay with adopting again, but it wasn't a huge issue one way or the other. (Two were out of the home.) Just for the record, we've never regretted starting over and I daresay, we feel like it's kept us young in our older age! :) Sincerely, Linny

Mine we 23, 21, 19, 13, and 8 when we adopted our baby. All but the 13 year old were completely on board..and the only reason he wasn't is because he is 13 and he really only thinks of himself at this age:) Seriously...they are all wonderful with the baby and HUGE help with her. I am 47 and I have to say a baby is a lot more work than I remember, so I am very thankful for all of the family support!!!

My oldest 3 (all over 20 & boys), think we probably have enough kids already, though they are cool with the possiblity of getting our adopted kids' younger siblings at some point in the future. One of them has alot of work experience with foster kids in a treatment facility, and understands if I feel really strongly about a certain child or siblings. They're biggest concern seems to be the amount of time I have for me. My next two, almost grown daughters, are hesitant also. The one who is about to graduate soon says she's fine with it, as long as it's AFTER she graduates and moves out--unless it's the little siblings. She LOVES her siblings dearly, but her personality is one that really loves peace and quiet time, curling up with a good book and no interruptions. The other older daughter is very self focused and doesn't want any responsibilities, and was adopted at age 14 herself. She's fine with bringing home more kids to adopt, and wishes we could, as she is very aware of the immense need for adoptive homes for older foster kids. She just doesn't want that to interfere with things she wants to do or amount of money we give her. My younger four kids would LOVE to have more brothers and sisters.... more kids to play with, and they understand the need as well, as three of them were adopted at older ages. My youngest, at 7, has asked for more brothers, but not too old, so they won't boss him. My youngest girl wants another sister close to her age. My 14 yr old boy wants another "cool kid like him-- only a little younger" that likes to run alot and play video games. I think about it alot, and some days I want to do this again, and some days I think I should keep my focus on doing the best I can for the ones I have and encourage others to consider foster care adoption.

I spoke to all of my kids and they are all on board and very excited about adopting our fd. My husband and I have decided to go ahead with the adoption and instead of being tickled pink like I thought I would be, I've been a nervous wreak! All I can think about is ballet, soccer, girl scouts, school projects, ect. ALL this stuff all over again. It's stressing me out! What if I can't handle it? I don't want to be the kind of mom that isn't completely involved and I don't know if I have it in me anymore. I love my fd so much but is that enough?

You're right.....you will have to go it all over again...and honestly, there are times I have to re-think it all in that I know I don't seem to have ALL of the enthusiasm I did many years ago with my older children. Sometimes, it's not easy. Do I ever wish I'd never adopted again....four more when we were essentially done? No. Dh and I are glad we went on to adopt more..and it's different sometimes......but we're still glad....and I think the kids have no problems with it either. But.....do consider you'll have to do this stuff over again. Do realize you won't be traveling around the world; not riding a Harley like so many others my age do around here (never wanted to do that in the first place); and you won't have quiet afternoons evenings as often as you could have..... IF those ponderings seem uncomfortable for you....then yes, re-think your position. Being older and adopting isn't for everyone......love isn't enough for everyything, but you'll have to personally decide if parenting at an older age is something you really want to do..... My best to you.... Sincerely, Linny

Thanks for sharing Linny. I have a lot to think about and I just feel like either decision will be regretted in some way. I am a debbie downer lately, I need to focus on how wonderful it will be instead of all the drawbacks. People have told me to pray about it...eh, that's not helping at all. I dont even know where to begin. lol