Adopting a child you know

September 3, 2012

Hi,

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience/advice about this.

I have 2 adopted children, separate adoptions, age 10 and 5 who have been with us since they were 19 months.

As a family we know a 5 year old boy who is being fostered and his foster carer has said it seems unlikely that they are going to find a family for him due mainly to his age.

My husband and I are very fond of this little boy but have no idea if you can adopt someone you know or if it has to be done in the traditional way of social services finding a match with adoptive parents who are unknown to the child.

Any help would be much appreciated.

davcat

Vtmom3

September 3, 2012

Many states recognize FICA kin (people known to have a relationship with the child but are not related; school, neighbors, friends, etc) this category is given priority over "stranger" placements.

Call you local agency.

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carmen90

September 3, 2012

I've heard of people adopting in this way. It tends to happen when the child is having trouble finding a home elsewhere. Often relatives of the foster carer adopt

However, social services might have concerns about your youngest child being five, and this boy being five as well. Age gap rules are often very strictly applied with unrelated children.

Speak to his foster carer and SW if you really want to adopt him. You would need a lot more information about him before you could decide whether or not to go ahead. Adopting in this way can be done (obviously you would have to be assessed again, generally the homestudy is quicker for an identified child). However given that he is the same age as your younger DC, I would not be very optimistic about SS agreeing in this case

Withay

September 3, 2012

I just finished adopting my fs. He is 5. My other ason is also 5. There were no issues regarding their ages and it was almost 3 years between their adoptions.

carmen90

September 3, 2012

Withay

I just finished adopting my fs. He is 5. My other ason is also 5. There were no issues regarding their ages and it was almost 3 years between their adoptions.

OP is in the UK though, where there are policies about age gaps with every single council and voluntary agency. Usually there is a mandatory 2 year minimum gap, sometimes 3 or 4 years

In all 17 ish years I've been involved in the adoptive community I can't think of any parents who've adopted unrelated children the same age

OP - I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic. But you have nothing to lose for asking, so talk to his FC if you're sure