Ditto I think we are done due to the fact they are not helping us

The agency is making this truly impossible. They have decided we need to come an hour for the visits part of the time and two hours for the visits the other half. Even though the agency handbook clearly says they are to be done in the HOME if at all possible. My husband works 24 hours on 24 hours off so half the days of the month are out from the start. Then another third are out because they won't do visits on weekends. So she said give her a list of days that would work ten days in advance and she could hopefully work out transportation assistance. We said we think we are being more than fair driving an hour and meeting them halfway. I can't leave my special childs at home alone for hours on end. So the next email I get says these visits will work and two are a different times and at the two hour location and one is suggested AFTER Court.. Really? You think after court when emotions are running high and out of control is the appropriate time for a visit? So I accepted ONE visit next month which you know they will use against us. Then for this visit I asked the worker what are we supposed to talk about? We are not allowed to say anything negative, talk about anything in the past or what is going on now that lead to the placement unless in a therapeutic environment. Well there is no therapeutic environment because we are doing no family therapy because they are concentrating on her individual therapy? So when are these things to be worked out? No one knows apparently and when we ask we are ignored. Her reply was whatever we would talk to our other children about if we had not seen them for a week. I told her if our other children had these issues we would be discussing them and DEALING with them. No response. We had the visit. My husband had a panic attack at the last minute and decided he could not do it. He said he could not sit there and listen to her talk about how GREAT her new life and say nothing. He says he is done. they have no intention of bringing her home and have made their decision so he is not lying and pretending at these stupid visits. Thank God he didn't go to the visit cause that's exactly what it was. I gave her her Christmas gifts which she loved and hugged me for but then it was all about great her new school was, how she is getting $20 a week for allowance, how she is singing a solo at church etc etc etc. Then she said something about a class she was going to have to take her SENIOR year (she is a Junior) and the worker said something to that effect too! So they are talking about her senior year there! REally? We were told we couldn't talk about a month ahead but they are planning her Senior year there! It was ridiculous. Now I think my daughter is under the illusion that she will live there and we will keep having these visits but that is NOT how it will be. If she can just turn her back on her family for a NEW start then she can have the new start and no family. I told her worker you realize it's not US she doesn't want to come home it is her town, her school and she has to face the consequences of her actions. She said well maybe she just needs a fresh start. Well I can't just MOVE my entire family for a fresh start for HER actions. EVen if we get stuck with giving up the subsidy and paying child support it's not worth my marriage. We are always at each others throats before and after the visits. I can't sleep now after this visit and it's all I think about. It's not good for my mental health. I just can't go and pretend................