So it is my daughter's birthday today...........

So the SW didn't make any arrangements for you to visit your daughter on her birthday? That sucks.... When I was 15, my mom signed me over to the county/state for being a chronic runaway. I know it was hard on her visiting me in juvenile hall during the coming months...but I am so grateful she was allowed to visit me on my 16th birthday. It made all the difference in the world, and that visit is still frozen in time inside my head.

I hope she is talking about you, and your family. I think you should put up with the foster father and call her. I do not know how difficult that will be for you, but I think you may regret it if you don't. Hugs to you!

Somehow I do not think she is. She has all of us blocked. I think she is talking about her NEW family. We can't call. We do not have the phone number and we would have to have to approved by the worker. There is no WAY she is talking about us.

I'm sorry that your family is going through all of this.

I just want it to be over at this point.

I think I know how you feel and it's normal and still hurts. RAD kids/attachment disordered kids do this to those who've tried so very hard to love, care and help them. They do. The thing you'll have to do is to live through all of this and go on. It's hard not to take all of this 'love she feels for her new family' personally. You tried so hard and now, well now, she's making it look as though you've hated her from the start and done nothing but ruin any thing ABOUT her life. Of course it's not true and of course, in true---RAD fashion, she's going to say everything you've ever done-right----was done---wrong. Keep this in mind: RAD/attachment disordered kids turn everything upside down. What's right----is wrong and Wrong is right. They seldom see it any other way. Consider this too......because you DID DO what was right.....she's now going to see it as 'wrong', see what I mean? It's all just too common across the board when it comes to kids like this. In the meantime, hang tight. You know in your heart you've done the right thing. While she's going to waste a lot of energy saying rotten things about you.....YOU know---that in her deepest of feelings.....SHE knows how you cared and loved her. Her ridiculous actions now are only a facade. Anyone else who instantly believes her comments now----doesn't really know her....they only see the veneer....not what's deep down. Sincerely, Linny PS....Yes, your cw'er is wrong not to allow you or her to have any type of contact if either of you wanted it in the first place.

I'm sorry she is being so hurtful. I think it's a RAD sorta thing-- and the more she thinks she can hurt you, the more she will. I would have to stop looking at her FB posts. Hard as it is, you have to move on if you want any sense of normal again...

Today is my dd's bday. She, too, is so in love with her "new" family. Makes me want to vomit! As far as your dd's status, this is what she really means: Family- loved ones (or at least what I consider "love" which is getting what I want, when I want it) Family- bieng surrounded by those you trust (some people call it manipulation, but I can call it whatever I want) Family- the ones who pick you up when you're down and hold you while you cry (I can cry at the drop of a coin b/c I practice it when no one is looking. Sometimes I can even make a tear fall.) Family- an everlasting unbreakable bond of support (well, or at least lasting until *I* say it's over) Family- FEELING SAFE ENOUGH TO SHOW VULNERABILITY (vulnerability, manipulation, I can call it whatever I want. Didn't you see that in my ealier post?) I have two adult dd's with RAD. Both are estranged at the moment. It's way less drama when they're gone, but it also means I don't get to see my grandchildren. :( The club you and I and so many people belong to SUCKS, but it's nothing something we chose for ourselves or our kids. I guess we don't have a lot of choice, but we can choose how we let it affect us. Try to do something nice for yourself or someone else each day and things WILL get better. Try not to let the system suck you dry (easier said than done some days). ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) to you. Know that this wouldn't matter to you if you didn't have such a big heart and care so much!

I'm sorry :( It's awful, but she doesn't mean love/trust etc the way you mean it. To her, it's probably just meaningless words that other people like to hear and it gets her things she wantsProbably trying to either get at you, or aiming it at foster family to make them like her more. And she'll stop doing that eventually, with time they'll see the real her. And yeah, time is a b*tch and we'd all like them to lose the wool over their eyes now not in 7 months time.I would consider stopping reading her facebook. Facebook is a social superficial thing - what's the purpose of facebook? It's a way to connect/communicate, and as such, she'll use it to manipulate. It's a great tool for her and i don't think you could glean anything useful or even very truthful from it, you'll just see more evidence of her problems and get hurt.

I know it's like a bad train wreck that I can't look away from LOL. I gotta work on that.

Sassafras, about following your daughter's Facebook wall/timeline...I promise you that you'll feel better if you can make yourself stay off it. I recently took one of my brothers off my newsfeed because his political views are so disturbing to me. And I made a promise to myself not to go visit his profile page, as well. I was getting so darned stressed out whenever I read what he and his cohorts were saying about the government and guns that it literally spiked my blood pressure and sent me into tachycardia every time I saw his timeline. It was hard to not keep tabs on him the first week or two...but now I'm soooo happy that I made this commitment to myself. I haven't felt near as stressed out the past couple weeks.

LOve my 6: Can I ask how hold our DD is and how she came to be placed out of your home? Is she evver coming home? You can PM me if it's too personal to put out there.