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Well we've had HB for over 3 months now with no end in site. Why do these short term placements never end up being so? When we took him, mom had housing, a job and her other4 kids. Now she has none of those plus a whole lot of other drama. Oh and we are doing paternity testing this week. Dad denies he's the father to most of them even though they all look just alike. Kinship in our state didn't work out. So now the plan is to move them with family in KY. Anyone have experience with KY? Heard it was very long AND family must go through foster parenting class?? I'm not holding my breath that family will pan out anyway because nothing more than one phone conversation has happened. I'm also perplexed that they don't want to move him in with sibs. 5 sibs in 4 homes is crazy. No SA either. Both other foster homes said they would take him. I said from day one I won't take sibs (and that was before they went into care) Oh and his level of care is higher than it should be and I've told SW and my case worker and nobody cares:/ Whatever, thought it would save the state money... I just hate that he's going to be with us for over a year, completely bonded to us, won't really know his sibs (visit is one hour /week with all 5 kids together but somewhat irregular.) and send him off to Kentucky with virtual strangers. My last case was like that too. Drag it out forever until you and the kid is attracted, then move them in your own sweet time. Half of this stuff is jus t making a phone call to get the ball rolling. Instead I hear every 2 weeks at SW visit " it's on my list to do that" broken record!! On another note we are considering taking another (ADOPTIVE) placement once HB is sleeping through the night. But then again, at this rate he will be in kindergarten before that happens!
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If they are going to move him to KY they really should move him to be with sibs so that he can at least know SOMEone when he leaves, I know your not standing in the way of that-just dot understand why county is dropping the ball :( Plus, if for some reason he doesn't go to family and goal is changed to adoption to non relative then they STILL will probably look for a home to take all the sibs, for some reason its not always that important in gc but once it goes to adoptions they really push for sibs to be together. Wish they would move him for BOTH of your sakes. At any rate, hope e starts sleeping soon so you can open up for that adoptive placement!!!
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I am in KY- and I am not sure of the specifics with kinship here-I think a lot varies county to county. But when Squeaks went to GP's they did not have to do classes. It may be case by case- or it may have to do with interstate transfers? I know that when we took our MAPP classes, their was an older couple trying desperately to get their teenage grandson who was in care in TX. They were very frustrated at having to take the classes, and it sounded more like it had to do with TX rules rather than KY. Sorry- I know that doesn't help much! You should call the cabinet and see if they can give you more info for KY? Good luck- sounds like a mess, and once again, not really all in the best interest of your little. :(
NotDoneYet
If they are going to move him to KY they really should move him to be with sibs so that he can at least know SOMEone when he leaves, I know your not standing in the way of that-just dot understand why county is dropping the ball :( Plus, if for some reason he doesn't go to family and goal is changed to adoption to non relative then they STILL will probably look for a home to take all the sibs, for some reason its not always that important in gc but once it goes to adoptions they really push for sibs to be together. Wish they would move him for BOTH of your sakes. At any rate, hope e starts sleeping soon so you can open up for that adoptive placement!!!
buckeyemama
Exactly my thought but DH thinks (wishful thinking?) that because he's never lived with his siblings and he'll be with us so long and that it will be too hard to find an adoptive home for all 5 ... Etc...that adoption is possible. We also know a family in our agency this pretty much happened to.
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Thanks all for yur responses. Even if the answer is that there is no cut and dry answer, I just feel better with more knowledge under my belt. How crazy that a particular state doesn't nessesarily have any specific state wide protocol for kinship! Mom no showed weekly visit again last night. She knows to just show up often enough to not get them canceled. I really wish they would be. How much bonding is going to happen in a 1 hour visit with 5 kids in a tiny room anyway???