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In the very beginning of this placement, the SW was all "pro bios". She wouldn't listen to the red flags popping up and seemed to give this impression that the boy's bios were working SO hard to RU. Since then, a lot has happened and I get the feeling she is OVER these bios and their games. Today I asked the SW about taking the boys on a flight to the midwest next month for an awesome hot air balloon event in my hubby's hometown. She jokingly said to me "so, are you going to bring biomom too?". When she first said it, it didn't register to me that she was joking. When she started to laugh, I got it and cracked up. She continued to joke with me about HER coming with us too. I immediately felt relief about making the request in the first place. The big kicker was during our conversation when I asked if we needed to get permission from the bios before taking the boys out of town and her response was "well, I can attempt to ask them, but can get permission for you to take them with or without the bios agreeing to it". I guess this is what it means to have the kiddos "in the custody of the courts". Her whole attitude has changed. I can't tell you if she is still going to push hard for RU, but I like that she expressed her thoughts on how cool it is for hubby and I to include these foster kiddos on this fun trip. I don't think I will ever fully trust any SW, but at least I can have a better relationship with this one...which is pretty refreshing.
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Yay! Glad to hear it...we were all kinda wondering if she was going to be one of those die hard "no freaking way they are not RUing on my watch" caseworkers! LOL! I love the joking with you...sounds to me like she is way less than impressed with "keeping up with visits", etc. I was always amazed(not that you are there yet, but...)when the goal did change how *everyone* on the case started treating *us* like the legal parents, even though the kids were still dependents! I think they just try really hard to be all PRO RU because, frankly, it helps them keep their job...and nobody wants to be the reason the state was sued! I was told that every move they make is designed to avoid a successful appeal. It is all about building a case, while saying "family first" at every opportunity(from a caseworker friend).
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hopefulandwatching
Yay! Glad to hear it...we were all kinda wondering if she was going to be one of those die hard "no freaking way they are not RUing on my watch" caseworkers! LOL! I love the joking with you...sounds to me like she is way less than impressed with "keeping up with visits", etc. I was always amazed(not that you are there yet, but...)when the goal did change how *everyone* on the case started treating *us* like the legal parents, even though the kids were still dependents! I think they just try really hard to be all PRO RU because, frankly, it helps them keep their job...and nobody wants to be the reason the state was sued! I was told that every move they make is designed to avoid a successful appeal. It is all about building a case, while saying "family first" at every opportunity(from a caseworker friend).
BoysParent
Oh boy I couldn't agree with you more on these SWs and their requirement to be pro RU and covering their "family first" butts. I get the feeling this Senior Case Worker is approaching retirement and feeling like she has a bit more freedom to cut off her support of the bios and do whats really right for these kiddos. Again, I don't necessarily trust her, but feel better about the way she is operating. I just like to be able to joke with people and not have to constantly worry about them not "getting it" or being too sensitive to see that what I'm saying is just a joke. I'm so glad for people like you, 80smusic, temporarymom and others who share my same humor on these boards.
BoysParent
Oh boy I couldn't agree with you more on these SWs and their requirement to be pro RU and covering their "family first" butts. I get the feeling this Senior Case Worker is approaching retirement and feeling like she has a bit more freedom to cut off her support of the bios and do whats really right for these kiddos. Again, I don't necessarily trust her, but feel better about the way she is operating. I just like to be able to joke with people and not have to constantly worry about them not "getting it" or being too sensitive to see that what I'm saying is just a joke. I'm so glad for people like you, 80smusic, temporarymom and others who share my same humor on these boards.