50 and considering adoption

Hi and welcome :) first off, are you a 'young ' fifty...or not so much? are you set in your ways and enjoy it, or are you up for a challenge? How is your health? how old are your parents /grandparents? We had the same thoughts...I shared my fears with my teenage daughter's friends, and one of them said to me :"I would have given ANYTHING to have a mom like you. Age means nothing!" (He disclosed that night that he grew up and aged out of foster care) I'm 50, my AS is 26 month old, my stad is 22 month old. I had both since birth. my family tree is full of people close to 90.... if I stay healthy, my 2 littles will be in their late 30 s when I go to the other side. Would I love to be around much longer for them? Absolutely! ! On the other hand my dear girlfriend passed when she was barely 30... her 2 children were babies (she had cancer and passed within 4 month) There are just no guarantees. If you feel your up to it, go for it!! My husband is 55, and our 2 are his first real take in raising children. Let me tell you, he is having a ball...he is an amazing dad, he rolls around on the floor with them, builds legos, has his hair 'done 'by our girly girl princess '....takes them on rides on the lawnmover... Did it change us? Yes. Is it hard? Yes. Would we change it, if we could go back? Not in a million years!!! We do have a plan B for our kids, just in case.

Same thoughts as amom2011......and I would add to NOT adopt an older child! Adoption of an older child is totally different than adopting/raising a hurt, older child. (BTDT on both counts) Dh and I were each 23yrs old when we adopted our first baby; 52yrs old when we adopted our last. We're now 56yrs old and have four young children still at home. All were adopted as infants and private agency/attorney adoptions. I say if you're up to it, go for it...age means nothing unless you're in poor health or not having a 'plan B' should both of you pass on together, KWIM? If age is your only hesitation, don't let it bother you another minute. Sincerely, Linny

I also say, go for it. My DH and I are 54 and 55 and we have 5 children still at home, 12, 11, 9, 4, and 3, and the youngest is severely disabled. We are still foster parents and very much want to adopt one more time. If you really want to do it don't let age be the reason that you don't!

I adopted my daughter from China when she was 18.5 months old and I was single and "only" 51. My daughter is 17 now, and entering college this month, and I will be turning 68 shortly before she turns 18! While I'd certainly like to be around for many years, I feel that I have given Becca a good start in life -- an excellent education, some good values, and an opportunity to explore who she is and what she wants to become. Adopting at an older age is so much fun, but you are right; there's much to consider. Will you have enough money to raise a child, especially if age brings some infirmities? It's not always easy to find a job at an older age, if you should go through a layoff or downsizing. If you have living parents, you might find yourself caring for them, at the same time that you are raising your child. Will you be able to handle the costs and stresses? If you don't have relatives or friends of a variety of ages, you may find that you don't do well. We all need a support system -- people of our age raising children, older people who can function as grandparent surrogates, and just plain people, to whom you can turn when you need an extra pair of hands or someone to talk to. You will definitely need to make guardianship arrangements, in case you should pass away before your child is an adult. Even young parents should have such arrangements; after all, accidents happen and even people a lot younger than you can die of a heart attack or cancer. But guardianship planning is absolutely critical if you are older, and as your child grows older, you should discuss your plans with him/her. Kids, and especially adopted kids, reach a stage where they want reassurance that someone will care for them if anything happens to you. Having a will that spells out your financial provisions for your child is important. Don't skimp and try the do-it-yourself will writer software. Consult an estates and trusts attorney. Find out the best way to ensure that your child gets enough money when it's needed, but won't squander the whole inheritance as a carefree young adult. Also make sure that he/she won't have to be making decisions about your funeral or whatever; spell out what you want and, if possible, prepay it. Do some research and look at the true costs of raising a child. Good child care can be very expensive, if you adopt an infant, toddler, or preschooler. Many adopted kids do best in private schools that can deal with the fact that they may have certain special needs, or an estimated birth date, or certain cultural interests, such as keeping up his/her foreign language. And COLLEGE. My goodness! Good private colleges can cost $60,000 a YEAR! And scholarship money isn't quite as available as you may think. Add to those things the costs of horseback riding lessons, camps, and so on, and the time demands on a Soccer Mom or Dad, it can be a little scary. My daughter leaves for college this month. I'm sitting here in my office figuring out the bills, even though she has received over $50K in financial aid this year. And I'm hoping that I stay alive to help her if she goes through a period of unemployment later, and needs a place to stay, or if she just wants a Mom's love and advice, if she is preparing for an exam, dealing with a boyfriend issue, or whatever. And, remember, the older we get, the harder it may be to remember that, while you can certainly share and teach your values, you have to remember that your child is growing up in a whole 'nother era. It won't be enough to say, "Don't," about premarital sex or drugs. Starting at a surprisingly early age, kids are going to be asking questions that shock you. You're going to have to answer frankly, without getting upset. And you're going to have to recognize that kids are going to make choices that aren't always your choices, and you'll have to offer them your unconditional love, while also making sure they understand that all decisions they make have consequences. You're also going to have to keep your kids safe. It's not an easy world we live in. Are you prepared to discuss date rape drugs, binge drinking, STDs, cheating scandals, eating disorders, drive-by shootings, and other issues of our modern society? Prepare for parenthood. Don't just jump into it. Babysit. Volunteer at a children's hospital while you wait to adopt. Become a court-appointed special advocate for a child. Take the toughest opportunities you can find, and you'll find parenting a piece of cake! Sharon

I just wanted to say good luck and that I also am an...ahem...older parent to a 1 yr old (and 8 yr old) in boston. Pm me if there is anything I can help you with re the process etc.

I was 50 and my husband 51 when we got our sons- ages 1 and 2 1/2 as foster sons. We have since adopted them and have never regretted it. They are the love of my life!!

we went another route, pregnancy at 45 and 48. Age was NOT an issue. We have God parents that are a good ten years younger than us for peace of mind. But with two little ones as far as age goes, I don't find any issues.

Wow! I love your spirit and wisdom! You are a very 'young' yet mature woman. Having a child at an older age has clearly been an asset to you and your daughter! I am 47 and just starting the home study...you inspire me!!