Too much contact

I also wonder why the bios have your number. I'd send a very direct text message stating that you need to move contact to the SW. There's no reason for you to be fielding all those calls and messages.

CW needs to set boundaries.One phone call per day and texts only to coordinate that call or visits. My bios text before they call so I can separate them from my kids who are on no contact orders, it minimizes the other kids being sad their mom doesn't call. But that's because they are amazing bios who respect not only me but my other kids.

I agree, I don't understand why a bio would be given your number, a bio would never have my number here. WAY too much opportunity for things to happen or be said that the CW can't control. I would talk to the CW and say if it doesn't stop immediately you will be blocking their number.

Kiddo's mom was pretty over the top with phone calls in the beginning. The SSW told her phone calls were at my discretion and if I had any complaints then they'd stop all together. SSW told her she was would get a 15 minute call per day if Kiddo wanted one.

I do contact with bios, usually later in the case when they have proven stable. New kids mom....I have her number and now she has mine. I called to talk to her about FD being a little sick. Your CW needs to set boundaries and I would let CW know if the calls do NOT STOP by Monday that you will have your carrier block the number and you wont ever know bios are calling. Just the fact they are asking you to sneak visits is enough to lose the privilege. It is a privilege to be able to call and either talk to or get updates on. How old are the kids?

Set yourself up with a Google Voice account and only give that number to bios. You can then control filtering of it. I gave that number to BE's extended family so I actually have to accept the call from Google. if you have an iPad, you can even use it with your GoogleVoice number to dial out. As for the current situation, I agree with PP, CW needs to put an end to it. I'd start by now answer their calls, and ignoring text messages. They'll eventually get the message. We are highly encouraged, pretty much required, to deal with bios here. I got lucky with BE that his bio mom had already exhausted phone privileges with his great aunt when she had him that the CW supervisor actually told me to NOT share my phone number with the bio mom. What a relief! Although, I did have to expose my google voice number to her once when I had to cancel a doctor's appt at the last minute. She has not even tried to call me back on it.

They used to not be as pushy with bio contact but recently they pour it on thick with bio contact. I've had to attend dr apts already with the bio's. It was very uncomfortable because the worker told me CPS in another state that has custody of bd's other children said he was a flight risk with baby because he once left the state with his other kids. Our placement is a newborn. Only 2 weeks old. The bios called me last week, an hour after the visit to ask how she was! Worker said she called her over the weekend and left her a voicemail asking when the next visit is. The visits hAve been on the same day of the week, every week at the same time. I truly have no clue how these people can parent 100% alone. They would need a live in parent.

BT lived that. CW asked permission to give my phone number to mom so she could arrange to meet teenage son for weekends, etc. I said, Okkkk, but just the home phone. NOT the cell, not my minutes.So I start getting up to 5 calls in a row on the answering machine when we're out. "How can I talk to my son if you never answer the phone?" OTOH, how can I answer the phone if I'm not there, that's why people have answering machines....Some danged way she gets the cell number. Now I'm getting calls when we're at the library for him to use the computer for schoolwork. Mom gives cell to child's adult brother and sister, mid 30's. Sister once calls and asks him for the address, he gives it out so she can come pick him up!!! I said, "Oh call her back so she doesn't have to drive all the way here, I'll meet them at the mall." @#)$%# So... in my case, it escalated quickly. Put the kibosh on it, ASAP.

Don't answer the phone. If you are supposed to maintain contact, send a text every few days (maybe Tuesdays & Fridays) with an update on the baby's care. Don't answer their text (specifically)-just do a general update. (Baby is eating ___ every __ hours..etc). If, at the visit, the parents complain that you aren't answering the phone/texts, tell them you are sorry but the baby keeps you very busy.

Unless there is a SERIOUS threat of harm, all bios here get phone numbers, almost-daily visits, and go to the foster parents home when their child is placed to see where they will live and meet the foster parents.

Bios were given our phone numbers in our situation too. I think it just varies.

My bio is my sister so she knows my numbers...she started calling and texting my house phone, my hubbys cell an dmy cell multiple times daily. At first I answered them...but then started ignoring the calls and texts unless I had something important to tell. After a rude series of texts and continuous questioning of my parenting ability...I told the CW that I would nto interact with bm directly unless absolutely neccessary. This also helps thin out the truth and fiction as bm would tell me that CW tol dher this and that...but that wasnt really true.

Wow! I cannot believe that! If it was like that here, they would have a horrible time getting foster parents.

Same here! Glad they are not like that here! In our classes they really encouraged that WE decide the level of contact we are comfortable with. My LW told us NEVER to agree to supervise visits. Both cases we had no contact orders for the babies, and no visits- so maybe that is the difference. I know that when Daisy's mom was actually working her original plan and had visits, the FM supervised and allowed her to visit beyond the normal allowed visits- and even became kind of a mother-figure to her. But knowing what I know now about the situation- there is no way I would want her to have my info or address! I think that you should tell the CW it is out of hand and that you want to be supportive, but you can't have them running up your texts and calling all the time.

WOW...almost daily visits why even bother removing kids? And no way would I be ok with bios knowing where I lived...no way.