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So shopping this week with Smiles got interesting. While waiting in the grocery store check out line, the lady behind me had a tiny preemie baby in a carseat. Smiles notices everyone and was well, smiling at the lady. She asked if Smiles was a preemie and I said yes. She then goes on to say she has a 24 week preemie in the carseat. Of course I take a look (she asked me to). Baby was about 3 pounds. I was so confused. 24 week preemie in the store? No oxygen or nasal cannula? What the heck???? Lady says its a reborn baby to replicate an actual newborn preemie baby. I was in disbelief. I asked her if she had a preemie baby at one time. She said no but "I thought it would be fun to be a mom to a preemie baby." Right then and there, I did the worst thing a mom could do. I judged another mom. Or did I? My stomach turned and I started to cry and walked away with disbelief. I guess my crying came from when I remember Smiles being that tiny and scared for Smiles that he wouldn't make it. It triggered emotions. Sorry so long, but what is your though on reborn dolls and the people that have them?
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That is my WTF moment of the day, hands down. That woman was obviously off the beam. I have no words.
Creepy. Definitely.I can't address the stillborn/early loss grieving aspect, b/c I haven't been there, so I'll just leave it at "If it helps someone get through that kind of loss, great." But a grandma whose grandson is moving away? Someone who wants attention in public for being "mom" to a "preemie??" No !@#$ing way do I have any chance of understanding. We all have loss. We all need to deal with our feelings, and move on with the rest of our lives. These dolls can be therapeutic or even teaching tools for some, but somehow they seem to have become another way for people in mourning to avoid dealing with reality. That just doesn't seem healthy to me.
DisneyMom
I also feel like some people treat their animals like this too. I know a girl who pushes her dog in a stroller and puts clothes and little shoes on it every day. She even eats with the dog at the table just like it is a person. I feel sorry for the dog. I've never seen it wag its tail. It always looks miserable. The girl for sure thinks the animal is her child and is not totally in the "nornal" range from the way she talks about "her baby"
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I saw a PBS special on this years and years ago. The lady that stands out in my memory was married with no children, living or deceased. She had several dolls, but her favorite was a girl she and her hubby took to the zoo. They had pictures with the doll done and everything! Several people at the zoo would see her talking and showing the "baby" the animals and they'd smile until they realized it wasn't real. The discomfort on their faces didn't bother this lady one bit. Her hubby didn't love the hobby but he was supportive of her. It's a very interesting concept, I'm not sure how I'd react if I encountered one in public.
I think it goes to "different strokes for different folks." Would I ever do this? NO...but far be it from me to judge other women's preferences...or mental-health status for that matter. When I first read this thread, I thought, "You've got to be kidding me!" But then I started thinking back to when I placed my baby for adoption back in 1972. I spent at least several months always hugging my pillow or teddy bear. I was very aware that my teddy bear was not my newborn son and neither was my pillow. It just felt good to have something substantial in my arms.
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splatfam
Raven, you always make me think! I'd never heard of these dolls, either. It's not unusual for nursing homes to have an old woman or two who do better holding a baby doll. I'm not sure I would have the best reaction in public upon realizing the baby isn't real....
I actually have a reborn doll. My aunt was making them for awhile, and they are art. It looked like my son to me and I thought it was neat. I, however, don't carry it around and pretend it is real. In fact I think it is under some magazines in my bedside table...but anyway...I fully believe that the people that carry them around and pretend they are real babies do have some kind of abnormal psychological issues going on.
At one point in mine and DH's infertility struggles, I seriously thought about getting a Reborn doll. I'd read somewhere that they'd helped some women cope. At that point, I would have tried anything to heal. My husband put his foot down, but I still think they're neat. Not neat enough to drag around in public and make a scene, but the fact that I was considering one because I was grieving leads me to believe that woman (and others like her) are in a league of hurt all their own. I don't know who or what caused it, but to go out in public with a "baby" that isn't real and tell stories about it.. that person has serious issues. Funny and creepy as it seems to be, I wonder what therapist encouraged or planted the idea to take the doll around in public. :arrow:
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One of my local hospitals uses reborn dolls with the elderly and confused/agitated patients because they are really calming and comforting.I think the artistry is amazing. I'm sure if I was a doll collector I'd have a couple, but I'm just not very interested in dolls!My DD2 loves dolls, really loves them, and she has a collection of Barbie's and Baby Borns and Princess dolls. I wouldn't buy her an expensive doll right now because I don't think she'd look after it well enough, but if in the future she wanted a reborn and I thought she wouldn't damage it within a month, I'd buy her one. Especially if she wanted it as a baby substitute because she just couldn't look after a baby without a lot of intensive help and support and it would be devastating if she got pregnant and the baby was taken away from her
:wave::wave::wave:Hi BirdieBee,Glad to be acquainted with you. I'm also looking for a famous artist to place a doll according to my wishes. I am also looking forward to learning from you.dearastrid