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DD had the FAS face as a baby. BM admitted to drinking during 6 months of her pregnancy.
J is now in 4th grade. Other than finding math "hard" and perhaps not having the best judgement skills when it comes to friends, she seems quite normal. i cna't even see signs of the "FAS face" any longer
She knows she has to work harder than others when it comes to math and will do so (with minor resistance)
Every once in a while I struggle with when I should share this potential diagnosis.
On one hand, I don't want to keep her medical history from her... On the other hand, i don't want her giving up because she has disease. As far as she's concerned, she's perfectly normal.
For those of you raising Drug or alcohol affected kiddos, when did you explain this to them? What did you say? How did it go?
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My son was exposed to cocaine definitely and probably alcohol. He has many sensory issues and struggles with perseveration (sp?). He went to OT for 2.5 years. When he was 5, he asked why he needed to go to OT.
I told him that his momma N took a type of medication when he was in her belly and this is why he doesn't like anything to touch his face and why he "gets stuck on things" sometimes. I felt it was an age appropriate explanation. I also feel he has a right to know his history, the good, bad, and ugly. All age-appropriate explanations, of course.
Perhaps if a discussion presents itself, you could give her a similar explanation.
I agree, though, with walking a fine line of being open about her past without it becoming an excuse for the child to fall back on when they come upon struggles.
Flowergirl has the face. she also has some of the struggles. we don't have a diagnosis, just a p-doc's agreement with our suspicions. we live in the middle of Outer Nowhere, so finding a diagnostician is next to impossible.she had all kinds of trouble in school in K, 1, and 2. the p-doc prescribed Daytrana, and that helped--her big issue right now is focus. but in the midst of the issues, the failing, the ed. testing, the pt/ot looking at her, she knew there was something going on--she's unfocused, not stupid!she asked me what was wrong with her. that broke my heart. nothing is wrong with HER, but she does have some issues due to the drugs and alcohol Barbie exposed her to, so that's what i told my sweet 7 yr old. it made her sad that Barbie did that. it makes her sad that she's different. but she doesn't doubt that she's okay. and loved.i have one son with bipolar disorder and ADHD. when he was little and diagnosed, i made sure that it wasn't a secret that he needed to be ashamed of--it's a chemical brain difference. i've been pretty much the same about the RAD that Bubba lives with and those FAS-like differences of Flowergirl's. i don't tell them they can't do stuff, just that they do stuff differently.and our expectations remain high. my oldest son makes more money a year than i do and i've been teaching for 15 years. my youngest 2 are usually A students. they know they can be successful--their mama told them so!better yet, they believe it.