Should I be ashamed?

Being a birth mom who was just reunited with her son after 36 years, I would ask yourself what do you want to gain from finding your birth mother. I always wanted to find my son, and I thought that when I did it would be a joyous event and we would live happily ever after. Happily ever after turned into a reunion from hell. No one tells you that you both are going to have these intense emotions that seep out of your unconscious and turns what was suppose to be a happy event into a emotional roller coaster ride. No one tells you that your child is in pain and had been emotionally damaged by adoption. My son was like you. He said he had the best parents that a person could ever have. He said he had a very happy life. He said all he wanted to do when he found me was to thank me for giving him to such a wonderful family. If this is true then why does he have such anger and rage because he was adopted. Why can he not accept love and dissapears every time we get close. Why does he do drugs to mask the pain he is feeling. Why does he think lying is ok.Why does he have almost every adoption issue I have read about if he was a happy adoptee.So all I am say to you is please read as much as you can about adoption reunions before you go looking for your mother. I have a psychology degree, I work with special needs children, and I have studied everything I can get my hands on about adoption and adoption reunions and I was still not prepared for the reunion process. So if you want to thank her for giving you to a great family, send a thank you card. If you want medical information, send her a letter asking for medical information. If you want to see what she looks like, she is probably on Facebook. The only reason an adoptee should find his or her birth mother is if he or she is willing to consider a relationship with her and be willing to work through a lot of pain together.Good luck to you.