New to Foster/Adopt and needs a pen-pal....

Originally Posted By Krisalso feel free to e-mail us at kennyandkristi@earthlink.net

Originally Posted By MaryHi Kris,My DH and i live in the central valley. We have adopted and also do foster care. Two of our adoptions have been foster placements. I would be more then happy to share any info that I have and to answer any ? you may have. My email is johnwe1@mediaone.netGood luck.Mary

Originally Posted By Maureen ThomasHi KrisWe are finishing up our home study (the holidays came at an inopportune time for us!) and should have everything done by mid-January.We are looking for an older boy (10-17) and keeping our fingers crossed. Like you, I am delighted to find this forum and other people "in the same boat". We can have some solid support here if we use this tool correctly. (sorry, once a school teacher always a school teacher, even if I am a computer manager now)

We are just about to start our 8wk class in Santa Clara County. There is so much to think about. And certainly lots of praying to do! We'd love the support and chat with anyone that is going through the same kind of stuff. DM:)

Kris, (or anyone who has done the foster/adoption homestudy) How did your homestudy go? Any suggestions? Is there anywhere that we can read up on it to prepare ourselves for what is ahead? We also have 2 kids (2yrs. & 4 yrs.) any suggestions for dealing with them during the homestudy? Thank you for your suggestions. DM

hi kris, i am in the same boat with you. we finish classes tomorrow and license is all done. we are going for adoption. tried foster/adopt for about a year and not a single placement but that is ok we feel better about straight adoption anyways. waiting to start homestudy and getting jitters, how 'bout you? well hope to keep in contact with you :)

colleyml, Its unfortunate that the foster adoption didn't work for you. Do you know why it was taking so long? We are about to start our class and go through the whole process. If you have any advice, that would be great! We just went to an adoption conference today and it was amazing. It was wild seeing how many people are also in the process of adoption! :) DM

Hi Kris, We are about to start our class to prepare for foster - adoption. So we are just starting. We're trying to go over everything and ensure that we are as prepared as we can be. How about you? What stage are you at?

Hello, The only advise i can really give you is be patient. It all takes time, but the outcome is wonderful. I thing that the reason it is taking so long for the fost/adopt was because we are going for 0-2 and they told us it could take up to two years. That is ok because i have gotten used to the wait. we finished our MAPP class yesterday and our sw told us that as soon as we get our paperwork (the last of it) to her she will call with appointment to do homestudy. Im hoping that by the end of march we can start. Well good luck on your journey, it really will be worth all the paperwork and the wait. :D

We are going for 0-2yrs old as well. It would just be nice if it didn't take over 1 year. Have you told everyone that you are doing this? We have only told a couple of close friends. A pregnancy of 9 months can be long, but seeing as this could take 2 years, I don't know if I would want everyone constantly talking to me about it. But we also have 2 birth children, so we have to consider prepping them for what is ahead. Lots of things going through our minds!

My name is Crissy, My husband and I have been going through this process since Oct 2003. We started classes on oct 2 2003 and ended the in Nov 2003. We have enjoyed this process. We are already licensed and will be signing our homestudy on March 22. Our Sw have been really wonderful. One thing I would like to express is that what you are willing to take also determines your wait period. We are accepting mild to moderate conditions and a sibling group of 2. O-2 yrs girl and sibling either sex 0-6. Our plscement worker expressed to me that she feels our wait will not be long due to the fact that they so not have many families willing to take sibling sets. The wait can be long but its well worth the wait.They match your family to who they feel will best fit your family. Our placement worker also expressed to me that most children who come into the system are placed within 1-2 mos after they come into the system. Unless its a large sibling set or oldier children. I wish you all the best and hope everyone has a very successful placement and process. Best wishes. Crissy Oh by the way I have two biological children 7 and 5. Our Sw actually wanted to meet with us without them, so I would recommend to find a babysitter. Then he scheduled a visit to sit down and talk to them without us in the room. We actually had to go outside and let them talk alone which was not a problem.They really did well, He only wanted to talk to my oldest son because he felt the youngest would not be able to understand anything. They just want to know how you are as a parent and how your children feel about bringing another chcild into the house. I have been so happy with how well everything is going. Best wishes to all. If anyone has an question feel free to ask. By the way I am goign through San Bernardino County.

Hi Crissy! Thank you for letting us know how everything has been going for you! It seems that things have been going quickly and smoothly - which is fantastic! I've heard other stories. So its nice to hear your positive situation. I didn't know that you could do the homestudy at the same time as the class. That would be great if Santa Clara county does the same thing. When did you start telling your kids about the foster adoption? We haven't started talking to our 2 yr old or 4 yr old about it yet. But we're getting ready. We just don't want it to be a really long waiting time for them - but too fast wouldn't be positive either. Have you been completely open with family & friends right from the beginning? We are a little hesitant since it could be such a long waiting time. During the pregnancy, the 9 months seemed long! Its incredible that you are going to take a sibling set. Hope it all continues to go smoothly for you - and maybe even quickly too! :) DM

Hi My children have known from the beginning, I sat my son down about shortly after he talkd to our SW about what adoption meant. I used the computer as a source. I took him to a web site that had pictures of stages of babies development.After explaining how they grow in mommies I sat him down and told him that sometimes mommies can not take care of their babies, like feeding them or give them clothes because sometimes mommies might not have enough money or just need some help, then I told him that was when those mommies who have the babies growing inside go to ask people like MR. ____ I used our sw as an example to ask them for help and find another mommy and daddy to care for their babies because they love them and want to give their babies more. Then I told him that is when Mr.___ calls us to come get that baby and take care of them. It also helped because my husband is adopted and I used his daddy as an example . We have included our children in everything, they feel included and love doing things to get ready for their new sister. They are actually surprising me on how well they are doing with it. I definetly would sit your children down and talk to them explain that babies take time to grow and then maybe they will learn that it will be a while tell baby comes home... They will ask questions and that is the fun part....Teach them by using your computer and showing them the stages of development and that babies have to grow first. We do things together to pass the time too, family vacations and get aways are really a fun way to spend one on one time with your biological children before you bring in new siblings that need alot of attention. Showing them that just because a baby is coming does not change your bond with them and that you all are sharing this moment together. Yes We told our family once we started the process. We wanted them to enjoy this time with us. We did however explain the lengthy process. But ofcourse my husbands parents already knew about the process. Remain optimistic it gets you through the hurdles and tough wait time.Find a hobby to pass by time. My son and I go to yard sales every other weekend, its a bonding thing I started with him when he was little. Now we look for neat little baby things or toddler things, just to create this bond we have and keep it strong. With my youngest we sit andwatch movies, play games, and just get mommy and son time. I really try to find things that fit for who they are individually to make each one of them feel my love and have my complete attention. And including them in this process is telling them I want you to do this with us and be apart of bringing your baby sister into our home and family. They love it. I wish you luck and best wishes, hope your process goes smoothly and that this helped you some... Take care! Crissy