Single Adoption?

Hi Jules. Juli is right about being prepared for hard questions as well as getting your situation in optimum shape before beginning the process. When the social worker comes for the home study, besides looking at safety and security, they will examine the specifics - that is, are you and the child a good match for each other. They want your adoption to be successful (just as you do!) so being ready in all ways to adopt will make everything flow more smoothly. Good luck!

What I would recommend as well also.Go to local and Free or No Cost Agency Orientations.Ask your questions where you can Physically see and hear the responses .Online we are unable to hear the persons Tone of Voice!!

I'm welcoming you personally to our Single Parent Adoption site because I am a single adoptive parent with a passion for helping other singles adopt. I too struggled with whether or not I could, and should, adopt but I did my research, fought the naysayers and pursued my dream.

I recently encountered an interesting series about single foster parenting on a blog I enjoy. You might want to take a look. It's not adoption, per se, but still very relevant. Just go to and search for "single foster parent" . . . all the articles should show up there!

I guess I'm qualified to speak, as I adopted as a single woman -- actually long, long divorced -- back in 1997, and my daughter is now 21 years old. My daughter was 18.5 months old when I adopted her from China, and I was nearly 51 when she came home.I can only say that adoption by singles is not only possible, but extremely common, these days. And singles do all kinds of adoption -- domestic newborn adoption, private adoption, domestic foster care adoption, and international adoption. I know many people, mostly women, who are single parents via adoption.Nowadays, most agencies do not discriminate against single women. There are, however, some foreign countries that don't allow singles to adopt, and agencies must accept their requirements. And some countries and agencies may choose not to place with women who are openly lesbian. Single men DO face an extra level of scrutiny, because there is sitll an all-too-common belief that if a man wants to nurture a child, he "must be a pedophile" or "he must be gay" (said in a tone indicating disapproval of gay men.) Single men of any orientation may find it difficult to adopt internationally, or to adopt a newborn or infant, but if they are willing to jump through a lot of extra hoops, they can usually adopt from foster care or do a private adoption. When I adopted my daughter from China, I was part of a group of eight families that traveled together -- five married couples and three single women, including me. We have all remained friendly, and my daughter was especially close to two of the kids adopted by single women and one adopted by a married couple. And we knew many other families headed by single women, many with children from China, but also children from other countries (including the U.S.), a child of a woman who had an unplanned pregnancy in the U.S. and chose to parent, lesbian couples, families headed by grandparents, and so on. One thing that tends to be helpful when you adopt as a single is living in an area where there are many different types of families, including families headed by single women. That way, your child doesn't need to feel "odd" for having only a Mommy. Most kids of single Moms go through a stage of wishing that they had a Dad, but they will go through it less traumatically if they see other families who don't fit the Mom-Dad-kid picture.Another thing you should have is a strong social support network. Being a single parent is hard work, and sometimes, you will run into situations where you need an extra pair of hands to assist, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to provide respite because you have the flu and a temperature of 103. Your social support network can include helpful family members, but it can also include friends, and especially adoptive parents. I managed to shatter my kneecap when my daughter was two, and I really valued the help of my friends, old and new. Also, make sure that you have a support network that includes some decent male role models; both male and female children need role models of both genders. Again, these men can be relatives or friends -- even ex-boyfriends, if nice. I had planned for my child to get to know a wonderful male cousin and an old boyfriend of mine, who was the father of two and grandfather of three children. My daughter wound up liking them -- but her "main man" became the Japanese husband in a family that cared for Becca when I had to have surgery. He and Becca remain friends, in the nicest possible way, to this day, even though he has divorced and remarried; my daughter was a bridesmaid in the wedding, along with his daughter.Single adoptive parenting can be very difficult; I don't want to mislead you. But I was surprised to find that it was actually easier than I expected, given all the gloom and doom scenarios that some people told me about. It IS true that you may never again have enough money, enough time, or enough sleep. But I can tell you that, at 71, when I look back at the wonderful life I've had, the most significant thing I feel that I've done was adopting my daughter. And the fact is, she's doing remarkably well. She's finishing college, with excellent grades. She already has a job for after graduation. She is self-supporting, except for the financial aid that her university gives her. She has had a steady boyfriend for over three years. She does her own taxes, reads leases like a pro, picks her own health plan, drives safely, flies to job interviews all over the country, and is hoping to get an MBA after working for a few years. Heck, she even keeps in touch with Mom!My best wishes to you as you contemplate adopting. And don't hesitate to contact me if you want to talk by email or phone. If you'll PM me on this site, I'll send along my information.Sharon

What a great in information shared here. Thanks all.

Hello, I haven't been on these forums in FOREVER! I adopted my daughter as a single, working mom... actually, I'm still a single working mom. My daughter came home when she was 3 wks old and is now 10... yep, double-digits. To hear her tell it, she's officially a "pre-teen" (personally, I think that starts at 11, but eh... I pick my battles). I went the private adoption route. It started as a semi-open adoption, and is now a full fledge, texting, FB friends, pick up the phone and call anytime open adoption. My daughter and her birthmom have the funniest relationship. They have this little play fight, arguing thing that they do sometime... as an example, her birthmom sent a pic via text, so I showed my daughter. She looks at it and said, oh, she lost weight. It was true, and not said in a malicious way. But she IS known as Princess of Snark. So I giggled and text her response to her birthmom, who texted back... tell her, I'm going to body slam her when I see her. Lol! Yes, I instigated that one...I swear, it was the best decision ever... I can't imagine my life without her. People actually stop us to tell us how much we look alike, we just kinda look at each other and say, "uh, huh, thanks". Our mannerisms are nearly identical, so I can see why we get this... I didn't find the adoption procedure all that difficult. I completed the profile book and waited to be selected. All in all, it took about 2 years, but I did put my file "on hold" (about 6 mos. maybe?) for a bit. But once I took it off hold, things moved VERY QUICKLY... I'm talking 30-45 days from being selected to in my home quickly!The most challenging part for me is dating. It wasn't really a problem when she was younger, but she's older now and I'm very conscious and careful of who I bring around. So, that's the challenging part... When she was around 7, I was in a long term committed relationship that didn't work out. I haven't introduced her to anyone since then... At one point she would badger me to get married, but now she claims that an additional person in the house will "mess up our vibe". Lol... I can't say she's wrong. Now that I've "rediscovered" adoption.com, ask me any questions... I will answer as best I can.

Hi Jules ,There are two types of adoption: plenary or simple. Plenary adoption replaces the parentage existing between the adoptee and his family of origin by a new link. Simple adoption makes it possible to adopt a person (even an adult) without breaking ties with his or her family of origin. Adoption is open to anyone over the age of 28 (married or unmarried, living alone or in a couple) and to spouses who have been married for more than 2 years or who are older than 28 years old.The process is not simple at all and it can take a long time if you do not master the subject and the actions to take.In which country do you live and in which country do you want to adopt?Me and my husband, we tried to adopt but without great success. A friend recommended us a law firm that we haveconsulted. They helped us understand the process and the different steps to follow. Thanks to them, we were able to adopt 2 children in 5 yearsI leave you their email address: helpusadopt@europe.comThey also have a website on which you can read about them:

So nice to read all your success stories. Makes me feel a lot better and not lose hope for my case.

First of all, I appreciate your very idea of adopting a child. It's not easy to cope up with the mess but believing is half the battle won. If you have all the resources and amenities around you, there is no need for second thoughts.

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I'm Kylie. I'm the cofounder of Adoption For My Child. We've helped a lot of single parents affordably adopt this year. I encourage you to explore our available situations page and read some of our client testimonials. If you are interested, we'd be more than happy to put you in contact with some single adoptive parents that have successfully adopted via our services. For more information, you are welcome to email me at kylie@adoptionformychild.com.

I found it very easy to adopt as a single. I did it through my county with the fost/adopt system. I had stable income and family support.

www.adoptedangel.com1-800-305-8836My name is Sophie I myself was adopted and have over 40 years’ experience of Adoption Awareness offering Support and Guidance with:NO JUDGMENT – TOTAL EMPATHYThe Importance of ForgivenessHelp of UnderstandingFinding CouragePersonal StrugglesAll the Challenges and Rewards for Adopted FamilyHelp instill Wisdom, Love and InspirationFind Your Strength WithinWE ALL HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH A SECOND CHANCE. CALL ME AT 1-800-305-8836 – Sophie