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Hi everyone, this is my first post here. I am 34 and I was adopted in 1983 in Ithaca, NY. I have always known that I am adopted and I was raised to believe it was a good thing. That my mother and father loved me so much that they wanted a great life for me so they gave me up because they just weren't ready for me. I had always dreamed of this grand reunion with rainbows and unicorns and just recently, after finding out some hereditary medical information, decided to get serious about the search. The state of New York is a sealed document state, so I was getting nowhere with them. A friend of mine, for fun, got me an Ancestry DNA kit and I sent it in, not really expecting much. Fast forward 6 weeks and my results came in. I checked it out and saw that I was matched as "extremely close" to what was listed as a "1st cousin or closer". I spent the day researching and based on what I knew of my mother (age at time of birth, number of siblings she had, where she went to school, etc) I discovered that this guy was my half brother. I have not contacted him, but I know he saw the match because he signed in for the first time in a year the day after we were matched up. I did figure out who my mother was and I sent her messages on Facebook, and emails to listings that I found online and I'm confident are the correct emails. I have not heard anything back. Has anyone found their relatives this way? I don't want to disrupt her family but I want to talk to my half brother. I am an only child so it was awesome to see I had siblings. I know he has seen me, but I want her to respond back to me first. But what if she never does? This reunion is not going the way I thought it would. I am beginning to think she wants nothing to do with me and my gut is telling me that her family doesn't know I exist. Anyone have a similar situation?
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I am so excited that you have found your people. I want you to take a deep breath, and do not assume anything!! I feel like you need to give her the benefit of the doubt. You don't have any proof that she has seen any of the messages. I sent emails and Facebook messages for days before finally using an intermediary to call my family. Turns out, no one had gotten any of the messages. I always thought using an intermediary would be impersonal, but I have found that it takes some of the pressure off of the party being called. My search angel called and said she was helping someone with her family tree and asked if she could run some information by her. She told her my birth date, the city I was born in, the hospital as well as the physical descriptions of my parents from my non-id info. She asked if that information meant anything to her. It obviously did, and things took off from there. Looking back, I really like that method. If the person seems like they need more privacy, the caller can always tell them to take the number and call back at a more convenient time.
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I think Ashley has some great suggestions on how to go about it, I love wording it that way. I wouldn't worry too much that you aren't getting responses yet. I know many people who NEVER check their emails. And if you're not friends with someone on facebook, your messages may be filtered as spam or go into a 'message request' box. I know when I get message requests I'm not usually notified, and sometimes I don't even see them for weeks or months!