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Hi friends,
My husband and I have been batting the idea around of adopting for a while. We have a son who is 6 and a 25-year-old bonus/stepdaughter that does not live in our home. We are strongly considering adopting a sibling group of 4 boys. We have 2 large bedrooms (one which could be divided into 2 -), one smaller bedroom, and a bonus room (which could become the master bedroom). The boys are 10, 8, 7, 5 so our son would be smack in the middle.
I am nervous about possibly going from 1 to 5 boys and the sleeping arrangements. Who should share? Can they share rooms? I am thinking the 10 year old should have his own room or share with 8 year old or 8 and 7 could share, as could my son 6 and the 5 year old.
Open to any thoughts on this and we're just starting out so guidance is welcome.
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ok. A few things: kids from foster care will have issues from trauma. They will act out; steal; lie. They will need therapy and a lot of time and attention. What would you do if a situation came up pitting your bio son against one of the foster kids? Also, some kids that have been in care have a "everyone is against us" attitude. You will have to work to undo that. and because they have been together and moved, they will have a trauma bond and they may not bond with your bio son right away... just some things to think about.
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Thanks, Millie. Those are great points! We are inquiring about a group of siblings, 4 boys, 10, 8, 7, and 5. Our bio son is 6.5. I am in my second year of my LPC and am focusing on trauma (through trauma in clients versus family members is very different); however, we are connected to resources that could help the boys get the therapies they may need to work through potential issues.I don't expect the boys to bond with my son right away or not for a long time. They are a unit that has been together for 5 years, we are the newcomers.I am worried if any of them have experienced sexual trauma and trauma in general as I understand what that does to the brain and development and health (the list goes on).
Honestly, you may never get the full story. I got the story because my now 24 year old Army son was sexually abused and was indicated to have perped on his bio sister. They were separated. There were instances with him but he outgrew them. His sister had issues and she took a bit longer to calm down.
ok. A few things: kids from foster care will have issues from trauma. They will act out; steal; lie. They will need therapy and a lot of time and attention. What would you do if a situation came up pitting your bio son against one of the foster kids? Also, some kids that have been in care have a "everyone is against us" attitude. You will have to work to undo that. and because they have been together and moved, they will have a trauma bond and they may not bond with your bio son right away... just some things to think about.