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I am in of some help, and not going to much into it.
Last summer my three young relatives were put into a Daycare / Foster Care in MO. Their father had passed and their mother did not have custody. The grandmother was not notified about the relatives being put in the system. After school they were picked up saying something happened to their dad and that was it. The three were taken to a daycare, that they stayed at on rare occasions.
The day we found out their dad had passed we called asking for all three relatives even though we lived out of state. We did not hesitate. The mother asked the court that she wanted her brother to have them, just in case she was not able to. That request has been denied, even though she still has parental rights.
We have done everything asked of us from a different state (Classes, Background Check, Fingerprint, ICPC, Home-study ect). We have been cleared by our state for approval.
The relatives have stayed in a two bedroom daycare sleeping on a couch and air mattresses in the living room and that is perfect. I know when we had our home-study done, the licencor was measuring the rooms making sure their was enough room for them, that their was an actual bed and dresser.
We have been denied by the county on all accounts. That we are to far for the relatives. The problem with that is their is another relative in another state, but that relative if they finished the paperwork would have been approved for custody.
We just also found out that the foster parent's relative has now been granted guardianship of all three. ANOTHER NON-RELATIVE. The judge said it was the best interest . As of today the "team" no longer wants us to contact our relatives that are in foster care, unless it is supervised. Another way we are being pushed out.
We have used a lawyer, but that is getting to expensive. Since it is literally work we have done, and the lawyer is using that work and charging us. We did write a letter to the judge, but we will not know what the outcome is since we are not privilege to the case. We do not want to empty out our bank account trying to fight a system that has ignored all the state laws, the regulations and policies.
Not sure what else to do. They are blood. I fear the system has won and we will never see them again. (This has happened before about 5 years ago. Not the same relatives, but relatives of them).
Has anyone else been through this? If so what was the outcome? Is there someone that could help? Or do we just give up after fighting for so long?
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Everything about this case has been done wrong. We are now not able to contact our nephews unless we go through the caseworker now. They are trying so hard to push us out it is crazy. They are looking at us like we are the mother, and we are complete opposites. There are so many kids that need a good foster home that do not have families fighting for them, but in this case the foster parent does not want any other foster kids but ours. The only reason they are fighting so hard, is these boys come with money with their dad's accident, the only reason they are putting us through this. There was no relationship before the accident. I am not sure what else to do.
Try going to the to top person; also your government representative. I was told in MAPP class that all efforts are made for foster kids to be placed with family. You may have to play dirty. And document everything.
Everything about this case has been done wrong. We are now not able to contact our nephews unless we go through the caseworker now. They are trying so hard to push us out it is crazy. They are looking at us like we are the mother, and we are complete opposites. There are so many kids that need a good foster home that do not have families fighting for them, but in this case the foster parent does not want any other foster kids but ours. The only reason they are fighting so hard, is these boys come with money with their dad's accident, the only reason they are putting us through this. There was no relationship before the accident. I am not sure what else to do.
Thank you. The state just received our ICPC packet, so not sure what they will do with that. I don't understand why we have to fight so hard for our own blood. My next step is going much higher than the children's division. At first I was easy going doing what was being asked, and not fully understanding everything since this was our first time getting through the first month. The first time we had to call, and give our information same as this time, but last time that was the end of it. I think they are finally understanding after 10 months of fighting for family that we are not backing down, and that we have done the necessary steps. I may need to kick it up a notch and let them know that family means everything, and we (my husband and I) are going to keep fighting to make sure the system is not failing these boys and taking their family away from them.
If it's been ten months, definitely go higher. Go to the head of the agency and reach out to your political people. Threaten to go to the media. At 1 year, they take the bonding into consideration.
Thank you. The state just received our ICPC packet, so not sure what they will do with that. I don't understand why we have to fight so hard for our own blood. My next step is going much higher than the children's division. At first I was easy going doing what was being asked, and not fully understanding everything since this was our first time getting through the first month. The first time we had to call, and give our information same as this time, but last time that was the end of it. I think they are finally understanding after 10 months of fighting for family that we are not backing down, and that we have done the necessary steps. I may need to kick it up a notch and let them know that family means everything, and we (my husband and I) are going to keep fighting to make sure the system is not failing these boys and taking their family away from them.
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