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She was sick for months. Her husband didn't tell me either. (We were in contact for 10 years). They listed my name (and my children's) in her obituary, and someone who knows me saw it and told me.
Were they afraid I would have flown to see her and they didn't want me to? Were they afraid I'd show up at her funeral and make things awkward? I got the impression that everyone she cared about knew she was sick and they got to say their goodbyes. Not me. Her husband (who seems like a very good, kind person) doesn't seem to want continue any kind of relationship with me either. What am I missing? I feel like I messed something up, or there's something obviously wrong with me but I don't know what it is. This keeps me up at night and it's been 3 years. I appreciate any insight. Thank you
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Hey Kate, That sucks. It’s weird they put you and your children’s names in her obituary, but didn’t tell you that she was dying. Please don’t believe you messed up. It is probably something to do with them. Unfortunately, it was out of your control. They chose for you that you wouldn’t be able to say goodbye. I think it has more to do with them than you. Please don’t beat yourself up about it and try to find your own way to say goodbye to your birth mom for your own sake so that you can have healing and move forward.
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