my aunts adopting my baby

Originally Posted By LaceyI'm 19 and am almost 8 months pregnant, from the time I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I wasnt responsible enough or in the position in my life to raise a baby. Immediatley I ruled out abortion, which left me with adoption. Im no longer with the father of my baby but I still do keep in touch with him. Hes always calling up to ask me if I've changed my mind about the whole adoption idea, and have kept to raising him myself, I think about what he must be feeling...and by doing that it just kills me. My parents have been very supportive, as well as the rest of my family, and after speaking with my parents, my mom told me that my aunt would absolutley love to adopt my baby, and hearing that just made me feel absolutley great, at the time. Here I am 8 months down the line and I keep thinking of it more and more each day, I know that with my aunt and uncle, my baby will grow up in a loving home with 2 loving parents (they also have 3 other boys which are theirs; all at a young age still), he will have so many things and more then what I wouldnt be able to give him, and hes going to be raised within my family (they live near me), so I will be able to see him and be with him anytime I want to. Thats whats hurting though, I guess I just dont know what to expect. In a way i feel selfish because I'm doing this for "me" but I know that I would be giving him a better life. I was hoping to hear from someone who has given their child up for adoption, and still sees them and keeps in touch with them, is it hard? Does time heal the pain? I know I should have posted this in the relative adoption catagory, but there was hardly any posts in there and I only have a month left! =) If anyone would like to email me at BabiLace17@hotmail.com I would love to hear what you have to say about my story and any personal feelings you have, thanks so much... Lacey