We are Vulnerable

Originally Posted By Maria This is the first time that I have used an Adoption Board. We were recently called by a birth family that found us in the Internet; the birthmothers name is Jaimie, after a few phone calls she told us that we were the family that she wanted to place her baby with. She and her husband wanted us to fly out to their home state next week, they were extremely adamant that we needed to fly out there right away so that there would be no doubt in their minds that we were the couple they were looking for. Long story short, the birth family was looking for monetary support for 9 months even though she was supposed to be in her 7th month of pregnancy. Her attorney and our attorney made contact. Our attorney was informed that the money they needed was to pay living expenses for her and her husband for 6 weeks after the baby was born. A cost that we thought was reasonable. Our attorney asked for a letter of pregnancy verification before we spent $3000.00 on our last minute plane tickets. The birthmother kept making excuses; eventually her attorney found out that they wanted the money up front before the birth of the baby. Keep in mind the money was supposed to help cover expenses ғAfter the baby was born. The birth family stipulated that if we didnԒt pay up front they would cut off the matchӔ meeting. As of today her attorney has not been able to verify her pregnancy. I spoke to a few agencies, to date she has contacted 13 other couples, same name, same due date however each time she increased the amount of her expenses. Because Robert & I wanted a family so bad we almost made a large mistake because we let our emotions get the best of us, only God knows what could have happened if we would have just jumped on a plane without talking to our attorney. We have since learned that in a legitimate situation a birth family will be glad to present a letter of verification to an attorney or agency when the prospective adoptive family is out of town or out of the state. Robert and I know that we will be able to offer our futureӔ child a secure loving home, but in the mean we have learned a very valuable lesson that we hope you will not have to experience. Most birth families have great intentions of placing their children in a warm, loving home, as in anything there are some people who will try to take advantage of our vulnerability. Our lesson was hard and emotional but we know that somewhere out there the right birth family will find us.