Adoption?

I am too looking. We are in Mississippi. We want an aa or biracial, healthy infant girl. We will accept mild special needs. Do you know of any low cost places or situations?

I've posted this before, I know....but I still firmly believe one of the best resources you can check is the website for the Quad A attorneys. The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys: [url]http://www.adoptionattorneys.org/directory_map.htm[/url] This particular part will show which attorneys are members within your state. I'm told by our attorney, that if you know of an attorney that is not a member---that's not necessarily bad. It's just that members are required to stay abreast of adoption laws through continuing education, etc. I continue to check into agencies, referral places, etc. Illinois does not allow facilitation, and 'riding that pregnancy time' with a birthmom is not our first choice. (We'd rather be picked after the baby is born so as not to deal with a birthmother who has a change of heart. Our last wee one was adopted in such a way.) Through my searches, I've only found a couple, thus far, that charge as little-----or even close to as little----as our attorney does for conducting an adoption. If you'll check the website and start calling, I'm told that some Quad A members do charge too much for conducting an adoption. However, I've also been told, that if you will keep calling....and call members in neighboring states, you can find one that is reasonable. I also know that our attorney does networking with other attorneys...and is able to find contacts in this way. Best of luck! Sincerely, Linny

If you are looking to not spend a fortune in order to become a parent through adoption, a state adoption, through your state's child welfare department (such as Child Protective Services or Protective and Regulatory Services), is a great way to go. In many states, adopting a child from the foster care system is FREE. Some require court costs, then turn around and reimburse you for those. The only draw-back is that the waiting time for an infant can be VERY long - 2-5 years usually. HOWEVER, if you are not wanting a 100% healthy white infant, your wait time goes down exponentially. For an AA or bi-racial child with some medical issues (even minor ones), the wait can be less than one year. You do have to understand that most infants coming into the system will need to be adopted with older siblings, and that the infants are usually not free for adoption right away. One way around that is to become a dual-licensed home, and to take "legal at-risk" kids. Those are kids who need a foster care placement, but who have been determined by their case worker to have a very low probability of returning to the birth parents. Yes, it is a risk - the child may be returned to the birth family by a judge, however, the risks are lower than taking in any foster child, regardless of status. Also, you then would not have to wait for the child to be free for adoption, and you have a chance to parent them from birth. I know in my county, they are DESPERATE for families who will take infants as legal at-risk. Most people don't want to take the chance. So look into it, and good luck. I know that I never felt that I was 'buying' my daughter, just that I was lucky enough to get to be the one to teach her what having a loving mother is about.

Jenna: Please don't take offense when I say that--- I don't think you're being fair. You are absolutely right in saying that state adoptions are much less expensive or no cost at all....but you don't mention the heartbreak of sending a baby or even school-aged child back to a 'bad situation' simply because the system couldn't find enough evidence. It's not fair to say to others that in this way, you didn't feel like you were 'buying' your baby. Thank God for you, Jenna. My hat's off to you; but your reasons for adopting from the system, are a lot like our reasons were. We adopted three times through the system, one has been a nightmare, two have been 'successful'.....but in our county, the wait for babies (no matter 'what kind') is a joke. I'm encouraged to know that your area is desparate to find couples who will take 'legal risk' babies/kids. But, you gotta add that a lot of times, even the littlest ones, have issues that have to be dealt with. I have one son that was taken out of his home and placed in foster care at the age of nine days--------due to sexual abuse. Now, even though his older brother testified in court that birthmom abused them, and older brother (who was still preschool aged), didn't have to literally look at her again-----the system insisted that my younger son had to have ' those stupid visits' with her! (I understand the legal reasons here......but I was awfully glad we weren't the foster parents at the time.) There is something wrong with a system that allows a parent to see and hold a child who has been abusing them since they were nine days old!!!!!!!??????? Like I said, I applaud you. The world needs more people like you; and it sounds as if your adoptions have been wonderful. But, to adopt from the system----no matter how little the child is----means a lot more 'to it'....than private adoptions. They are two totally different ways to adopt; sometimes so different, the methods of parenting are different too. Sincerely, Linny

Jenna202 Hi I'am a foster parent but what state are you talking about that wait times are that low I know a couple that waited seven years and we are in Nebraska?

There are costs to even the most ethical adoptions. These costs are not "buying a baby". 1. The homestudy, as you know, is intended both to determine whether you should adopt and to prepare you for the complexities of adoptive parenting. The social worker who does it is a professional. Just as you must pay your doctor or lawyer, you must pay the social worker. His/her fee is determined by the number of hours the process takes, which will vary by state and by agency requirements as to content. 2. If you adopt internationally, the U.S. government needs both to approve you as a potential adoptive family and to determine that the child being assigned to you meets the requirements of the Immigration and Nationality Act. When approving you, the government needs to review your homestudy, submit your fingerprints for an FBI criminal records check, and so on. When approving the child, the government looks at whether the child is an orphan eligible for immigration under the law and at whether he/she is being adopted legally and ethically. The government workers who do this job also must get paid. As a result, there are fees attached to submission of the I-600A and I-600 forms. There are also fees for processing the visa that will allow the child to be brought to the U.S. 3. If you adopt internationally, you must prepare a dossier of papers about yourself to satisfy the requirements of the foreign country from which you are adopting. These papers include things like your birth certificates, marriage certificates, divorce decrees, letters verifying employment and salary, medical clearances, and so on. When you obtain these documents, there are often fees attached; as an example, your state Vital Records department charges a fee for issuing a copy of your birth certificate because they must find it in their records, prepare it with necessary seals and such, and send it to you. Also, the foreign countries usually want the validity of the documents to be assured, so they usually want you to go through an authentication process; as an example, they may want documents notarized, and then for the Secretary of State's office in the state where the notary practices to verify that the signature of the notary is authentic. The more documents you have, the greater the costs for authentication will be, since the authenticating offices generally charge fees for processing and mailing. 4. Any agency that makes an adoptive placement will charge a fee. The reason is simple. Agencies have to identify children in need of homes. They may do this by spending time in overseas orphanages, determining whether children are legally available for adoption, whether they meet the U.S. definition of an eligible orphan, and what their health issues are. Or they may do it by identifying potential birthmothers, counseling them about their alternatives, and working with them to identify the type of family in which they wish to place their child. The people providing these services must be paid. Most agencies also do humanitarian work; they may provide schooling and warm clothing for institutionalized children overseas, and they may support homes for unmarried pregnant girls in the U.S., for example. These activities cost money. In addition, there are costs for renting office space, paying secretaries, paying for utilities and phones, and so on. In most cases, there are also licensing fees, fees for membership in professional associations like the National Council for Adoption and the Joint Council on International Children's Services, and so on. I should note, here, that many agencies will reduce their fees for adoption of older or special needs children. 5. In the U.S., it is legal for a family to pay certain legitimate expenses of the birthmother, including expenses for medical care and legal counsel. The legal counsel ensures that a birthmother is not victimized, and that her interests are represented properly. The medical expenses help to ensure the child's wellbeing. 6. If you adopt overseas, there are usually country or provincial fees related to the costs of the actual finalization in the foreign court system and the preparation of the various legal documents. These fees are no different from those imposed by lawyers and the court system in the U.S. 7. Some foreign countries impose an orphanage fee on every adoptive family. These fees are paid to the orphanage at the time of adoption, and help to offset the cost of caring for the child from the time he/she was received there to the time when he/she was adopted; they also contribute to the care of children who will never be adopted due to age or disability. 8. In the U.S. there are various attorney and court fees for the adoption. There are also costs involved with complying with the Interstate Compact, where applicable, and for complying with other requirements of the states. 9. With international adoption, you will usually need to travel and spend some time in the foreign country, in order to bring home your child. You will pay airfare, plus the costs of lodging, meals, and in-country transportation. Some countries allow the child to be escorted to you, but you will still need to pay the escort's airfare and other expenses. If you adopt domestically, from a state other than the one you live in, you will also need to travel, and you may need to stay in that state for a certain period of time, as mandated by law. 10. Many countries and states require a period of post-placement supervision, where a social worker checks on and reports on the adjustment of the child and the family for up to six months or a year. The purpose is to deal with any questions and concerns the family might have, as well as to identify any problems that could put the child at risk. Again, there are fees for this professional service. 10. With foreign adoptions, most parents choose to readopt in the U.S. There are state fees for this. In some states, a parent can readopt at low cost, without an attorney; in others, use of an attorney is virtually required. I'm not sure I've touched everything, but I think you get the picture. These are not fees paid to a birthmother for her baby, nor are they used to line the pocket of an individual, unless you happen to use a sleazy facilitator. I should note that the least costly adoptions are those through the state system. In most cases, the state pays a great deal of the costs; the adoptive parent may even get a subsidy that covers some of the child's medical care after adoption. The one drawback is that few healthy infants are available; most of the children are older, have significant medical/psychiatric issues, and/or have some of the problems associated with institutionalization or multiple impermanent foster care situations. In short, adoption involves legitimate charges. Certainly, there are sleazy people who buy or steal babies, or who charge fees that are unrelated to the above issues or over and above the reasonable. But you don't have to use them; you can and should research any licensed agency or unlicensed facilitator before signing on. The legitimate charges are rarely payable all at once. With an international adoption, for example, some of the costs not be due until you get your referral (which can be six months to a year after you apply), or until you are in-country. So you usually have some time to save money. Moreover, there is an adoption tax credit of $10,000. If you adopt a domestic special needs child, you get the credit regardless of your adoption expenses. If you adopt a domestic healthy child or any child from a foreign country, you get a credit that is up to the lesser of qualifying adoption expenses or $10,000; most international adoptions qualify for the full credit. In addition, some employers are offering adoption benefits. You can exclude these benefits, up to a maximum of $10,000 or the amount of qualifying adoption expenses, whichever is less, from taxable income. So adoption really isn't so terribly costly, when you think of it. But do make sure you think about the longer-term costs of raising a child. As an adoptive Mom, I must tell you that raising a child is very expensive! So be sure that you can handle the expenses of parenthood for the next 18 years or so -- the medical costs, the child care costs, the clothing, the food, etc.

Please don't talk to me as if I'm stupid. I know the costs and why they're there it's just very discouraging to look at and alot of grants and funding are only available in certain situations. So yes I'm discouraged no I'm not an idiot. And about the costs of raising a child. I've been there done that. So get off of your podium! If this offends anyone sorry but I had to vent.

Linny, I patently disagree with your response, and feel that you are being unfair. I never in my posts say what others should or should not feel or think. I have only stated my own beliefs - and there's nothing unfair about them - my feelings are my own, and I'm entitled to them. All I said was that I did not feel I was buying my child - fact - end of statement. I did not say that I felt that other WERE buying their children - I DO NOT feel that way. And I absolutely DID mention that legal at-risk kids might have to go back to the birth family. I think one can infer that it would be a heart-breaking experience for the foster parents and likely the children if that happened. Additionally, if I were to write a treatise on issues experienced by children adopted from the foster care system, I would need an additional website - this one doesn't have enough bandwidth. None of us are going to read a posting on this board and run off to make a life-changing decision because of it. This is just a launching-pad for additional research, thought, and sometimes prayer, to drive us toward our own decisions. As I said in my posting, "Look into it". What I wrote to Tori was just a quick statement of another option, which would entail little up-front costs, and give a higher probability of adopting a younger child. I can relate to the desire to parent a younger child, without wanting to spend $10,000 - Frankly, I'd rather spend that money on my child, instead of giving it to an agency - just MY feeling and MY opinion. And in MY opinion, some of the "fees" charged by certain agencies are robbery. Bluntly, I do not believe in for-profit agencies. While I absolutely do not believe that the state should be in charge of every adoption, I do think that non-profits can do a job equal to that of a for-profit agency, without the feeling of a 'sale' having been made. Obviously, not every for-profit agency is bad, and some do an awesome job - again, this is MY opinion. Another thing to consider is that just because a private adoption is the chosen method, does not mean that the child will be problem-free. There are still genetic issues, and sometimes the child is not taken home from the hospital by the aparents - leaving opportunity for experiences that might not reveal themselves until later. Each case is totally unique. You have a lot to add by relating your individual experiences with foster-adopt, but I wish you would not criticize my posting, which only imparted information, and did not judge or criticise others.

Tori, I live in Texas - big state - lots of kids. That's why the wait is as short as 2 years in some cases. And of course, it all depends on the "planets aligning". The right parents, the right kid, the right workers, etc. all coming together at a single point to make the match. I know some awesome families who ended up going over to private adoption because they kept getting passed up. But that's the way it goes. I feel EXTREMELY lucky to have gotten a little girl with no medical problems, less than 2 years old, and virtually no developmental challenges, after waiting for only 4 months. But it was 100% because I was a foster-to-adopt home.

First: Jenna. Please accept my apologies for taking offense to my posting. I was not meaning to imply that you did not have the right to your opinion. Believe me.....I thought a long time before posting that post, because I didn't want you to take offense to it. Apparently, I didn't do a very good job. I'm not giving 'lip service' here. I mean it. But I also want any couples who are considering adoption through the system to know that there is a BIG REALITY that caseworkers and such don't like to talk about. These are the things that support groups are made of, that specials on Primetime are focused on (giving a child back), and so forth. Second: Cdawson: This is just awful! I believe you entirely; and this agency surely isn't considering the birthmom's wishes if she is wanting an AA couple and they are leaning toward the CC couple due to money!?!?!?! AGHHHHHHHH! Here again, you know that you and I agree on the fees being incredibly too high. And, despite a recent post I made on another board that I hoped fees would decrease........in my searching----it seems that costs are GOING UP! Please let us know what your attorney says about this. Sincerely, Linny

Jenna, Thank you for the info. We may have just gotten a match out of the blue from an aquaintence. So if it doesn't pan out we will definatelly try to refer. Our social worker has been great in the past week in sending off our homestudy and helping us to net work with other states.

WOOHOO!! That is awesome! Ya know, even when it doesn't work out, I feel like at least the wheels are moving. I was upset when we did not get the first child we submitted for, but I felt like I was at least in the game. I'm keeping EVERYTHING crossed for you!

Why can't we all just listen to what others say, allow them to vent and voice their opinions, concerns, beliefs WITHOUT everyone taking things so personally???? Everyone has a right in this country to say whatever is on their minds.....whether it offends someone or not. Let us vent our frustrations without being ridiculed, PLEASE!!!! I don't believe that anyone is "out to get" a particular person or group. Thanks for listening. I get tired of reading all this nit-picking when all I want and need is info and SUPPORT!! Michelle

Hi!Try looking into an agency where the fees are income-based, such as Bethany Christian Services bethany site many non-profit agencies have this type of payment policy.Good luck!Sarah