Fost Adopt and Ulcers

I have found some relief in these postings, and it's nice to finally see what other people have gone through, are going through, and the varied experiences. Until someone has actually done this process (fost/adopt), it's impossible to fully understand the emotion, the anguish, the fear, and resentment. One thing our classes didn't prepare us for were the ulcers, and sleepless nights wondering what will become of thise innocent kids. We currently have two placements. Our first one is 11 months old, and was placed with us at 6 weeks (She was 9 weeks premature, and addicted to heroin). Our second is 2 years old, and was only recently placed with us a couple of months ago. The irony is that it appears that the 2 year old's case will most likely be resolved before the11 months old case. In the case of the 11 month old, the mother is of course fighting to gain custody. Never mind that for the first 8 months of the case she did virtually nothing required of her by the courts/sw. Now at 10 months she is starting to show up for visits, etc. Thus the roller coaster just got scarier, and longer. I can't believe the court would increase visits to reward her for actually making two months of visits. Especially since she missed nearly 50% of visits, and numerous UA's. I just don't get this system that rewards in-action. To top it off, a psychiatric eval basically states that she is not competent to parent a child, and yet re-unification is still on the table. I hope to hear from others who have been on the long haul of ups and downs, and how you coped with the day to day fears. I look at this little kid who has no idea of her precarious fate, that the only parents she has ever known are merely babysitters in the eyes of the state. It frightens me to no end that she could be returned to a person who has previously demonstrated the total inability to raise a child. Thank you for letting me vent, and having a safe place to do so.