any catholic adoptive parents to be out there?

caradopt, can you tell me more about how you found Catholic Charities? We live in Yorba Linda CA... wondering how I find them and how difficult it is to get matched. Thank you. ;)

Buzz and Mary, I don't know if your local Catholic Charities in your diocese has adoption services, but you are in the Diocese of Orange. The web address of that diocese is [url]www.ccoc.org[/url] . Also there is a Catholic Charities of California organization at [url]www.cccalifornia.org[/url] where you could get more information. I am sure they could at least direct you to a local resource if they don't have the service itself.

Thank you! I've checked out the websites for the local and the county chapters of Catholic Charities now and have emailed both for contact info. Neither of them have adoption information on their sites!

Hi, well I think sometimes it is also called Catholic Social Services. I'm sure the diocese operate differently, but I really liked the experience here in Florida. They only select 6-7 couples to go through the program at a time and they put us through a 6 week class with the other couples. They educate us on what to expect. They do not offer another class until all the couples are placed or matched so the level of attention is great. My husband and I are expecting "Grace" to be born on November 21st. I am going to be the coach for the birth and am going through birthing classes with our adoptive Mother. We sure have come a long way from the typical closed adoptions of the past. What a great story we will be able to share with our daughter.

You are the Catholic adoptive mother I've been waiting to talk to! I am a single, divorced (for 14 years) mother of two children, both almost out of high school. My homestudy was approved over two years ago, to adopt through the foster care / state system. Unsuccessful so far, disappointed, sad, and unwilling to give up hope, I wonder how did you do it? Did you have parameters or were you willing to accept "any" child? I said, up to twelve years of age, and was initially matched with a girl who sadly, had schizophrenia, bi-polar diagnoses and other issues. I did not feel prepared to give her all that she needed, due to being busy with teenagers. To make a long story short, I am not sure what to tell the system for them to consider placing me again. They do not seem to connect my words, with what they've documented and each time will say, "perhaps you might consider a younger child, or perhaps you might consider fos/adopt" when these are things I have said all along I would do. It's so frustrating and I do feel sad. Suggestions, ideas, prayers? BTW, my two teens have attended private Catholic schools from Preschool through High School and did very well, though they do not have the kinds of issues, of course, that a child who has been in the system would. My belief is that each child is a unique case and there are benefits to both the public and the private school system that must be weighed against the individual needs of the child. Thanks for listening!

I adopted a child through the state as a single mother. She was 8 when I adopted her. I used a private agency that contracted with the state. She has issues, but not schizoprhenia or bipolar. I put down on my parameters that I did not want to accept a child with schizophrenia, or with a maternal link to schizophrenia. I put down other parameters as well. It took over a year to be matched. But I would call occassionally, attend seminars and training, and occassional adoption parties. There were other children presented to me, but I did not feel they were the right match. I think it helped using the agency, as I had a social worker that was looking for me, and that I could use as a point of contact.

I appreciated your reply. I think that is what I should do - thus far three Assessment Team meetings have been scheduled at the Agency's convenience, not mine, and I missed the first two. (Work obligations, etc, as a single mom made it difficult to get to the time they arbitrarily selected for me, sadly) The third time, I arrived promptly, only to find out their facilitator had cancelled on them, so they weren't going to meet (and I lost my vacation time allotted for that meeting). Your idea of setting specifics like "no schizophrenia in child or mother.." is a good one. Right now they are telling me that I am inflexible due to not being able to accept the two proposed children, and missing two meetings. Understand their viewpoint on the latter, but on the former...I was just doing what was right. I have no caseworker as such, at the agency. I don't know if they will give me one! What other suggestions do you have for me?

How did you get your homestudy and training done? If that is all done then it might create some problems to go to an agency. It varies from state to state. If you can use an agency and keep your current home study and training, by all means try to get hooked up with one. It helps to contact one person, who can than be your liason with the state workers, and other nonprofit agencies. Being called about 3 staffings is pretty good. I think I inquired about 1 possiblity and had 2 offered that I declined before I was matched with my daughter. I am surprised that when you filled out the form there was not a place for you to put down what you could and could not accept, (age, race, gender, degree or types of disablilities, degree of risk ast placement.) That was all on the form. Being single takes a little longer for a match, but it does happen.

Actually, I must not have made myself clear. I was offered two girls whom I could not accept, one because her significant and permanent mental illness was more than a single mom of two teens could handle and one because she was so out of birth order, and so problematic for my children. These were not "staffings" I was called for, but a Team Assessment Meeting, utilizing their paid facilitator to assess if I am someone who they feel can BE an adoptive parent. They've placed me on hold pending the assessment. My homestudy was done through the State of Nebraska as is my foster care licensure, they work with two private agencies to form an adoption "triad." I have no assigned caseworker at this point and as of now...my homestudy is expired. Also, I am waiting the renewal licensure of my foster care privileges, sent in all the required paper work: CE's, health assessment, etc, but it has not come. I feel blackballed because I tried to do what was in the best interests for the child. Neither of these children was actually placed in my home. I did say child or group, with mild emotional/mental health issues, but not moderate or severe, mixed race, hispanic, caucasion up to age twelve on my forms. My licensure is for up to four children. They have never offered fos/adopt to me, and that was a question I wanted to raise at the Assessment, as, difficult though that route may be, it is one I am willing to take. What else can I do????? I am sad, and still feel so disappointed. Just waiting for them to reschedule at this point. Can tell you a lot more after I return from my business trip Sunday - THANK you so much for your thoughtful replies.

I think it would then help for you go to an agency. So you have a worker assigned to you. Your parameters are wide enough that you should not be given any grief or be blackballed. When I went to an emergency staffing meeting (with other possible parent matches) my social worker went with me and she was the one to say no to the child presented.

Hi! [font=Comic Sans MS]1-2 In the process of adopting girl from Guatemala[/font][font=Comic Sans MS]3 South Florida Sunshine StateӔ [font='Book Antiqua']☼[/font][/font][font=Comic Sans MS]4 No [/font][font=Arial][/font] [font=Arial][/font] Thanks Ampy:)

I am working through the State of Nebraska, and they have contracted agencies: for example, my homestudy was done via Lutheran Family Services, and my caseworker appears to be at the Child Saving Institute. I don't know that I have a caseworker. At this point, my foster care license is still being redone. All my forms are in, but I must be refingerprinted. Now, my son is eighteen (a senior) and he must be fingerprinted as well. That's scheduled for next week. After that, a homevisit, and then they say I will be in line for fos/adopt. My team assessment went really well, and they had me write to them what my parameters might be, and so I developed a sheet of what that might be, and we'll go from there. However, in the meantime, while this was all going on, our local university needed homes for two foreign exchange students, both staying between four and six months. We've had two of them now for two months. So I am guessing that will preclude a foster care placement till they go back to Korea and Columbia. Perhaps that's God's will, as we need to get through Mark's graduation in the next two months. But I am SO ready in my heart. I wish life were perfect, but it is what it is, and I am doing the steps I need to do to get a placement. I said preferably girl, with no more than mild mental problems or disabilities, birth through seven years. But I said, this is my idea, so don't preclude me! Just ask! I would also take a sibling group, after all I have been a single parent of my two bio children for fourteen years. Other suggestions for me?

Your Parameters are very close to what mine were. I upped my age to 8, because that is appearantly a common cut-off, and a lot of 8 year olds get passed over. I did end up with a girl who just turned 8 when we were matched. It took a year for my match, but she was definitely meant to be my child.

I would love to know more. We were matched with a nine year old girl previously, and were doing home visits when she became very intentionally cruel to my bio daughter, and acting out sexually a bit iwth my son. She didn't want us, and she really didn't want our religion - smart kid and she had been fully indoctrinated by nearly three years of an Evangelical family that Catholicism was really stupid, bad, didn't make sense. She was adamant and vocal, AND wrote a long letter expressing that she would accept adoption with someone because the judge "said" and she was going to bide her time till she was old enough to get back to her bio-mom. Judge had ordered visits be maintained with bio mom and bio aunts, grandparents, etc who lived here. She had such a strong sense of who she was and it didn't include us. We passed on the adoption and she was quickly adopted by another family. We all know our own limitations, and she helped me learn some of mine. My son will be leaving for college in the fall, which will hopefully make the next match simpler. The team assessment went over all the aspects of this attempted / failed match and the whole team believed we had done the right thing. There is so much more to the story, but in summary: this little girl did NOT want to be with us, and we decided she was old enough to know her own mind. Age nine - you have very clear opinions by that time. I would adopt older, I will adopt teens on the next times perhaps, and my parameters aren't locked down, except on the schizophrenia/bipoliar and severe/profound disabilities pieces. My time is limited, etc, as I am a working single parent. We're hopeful....can you tell me a bit more?

mckenna- I wasn't aware you were Catholic, so am I! :) We had Jacob in February and it felt so amazing to be able to pass on my Catholic faith to our son. His birthparents, although not Catholic, knew that we would be raising Jacob Catholic and had no problem with that. When Jacob is old enough, he will be attending religion classes as well.