adopting in VA

Bonnie If you don't mind why did the birthmom's family pop up so many months later? I am assuming they were unsuccessful? PLease share

Bmom did not originally tell her family of her pregnancy. She was an adult and they lived several states away from each other. When our son was 6 months old, she went home to visit and confessed to them and showed them the updates and photos we sent. They said had they known they would have helped her keep him. So they filed a petition to intervene, which stopped the finalization of the adoption. Their premise was that she was medicated to the point of not understanding what she signed and that she was coerced by the social workers...all untrue. After six months of court, they all dropped the case because their attorney advised them that they would lose. Too many OB/GYNs said she was not medicated.

Hi, John Randolph Hospital is in Petersburg, VA just south of Richmond. It's part of the Columbia/HCA The Hospital Corporation chain. It's a smaller hospital in the area. We live in Southeastern VA - Chesapeake. The only attorneys I could recommend are both down here. Gary Allison 757-518-8000 was wonderful as is his paralegal Nancy Pitts. They were our attorney when we adopted our son just over a year ago. Another atty we've heard good things about is Dave Daulton. As for agencies, I've heard good things about Coordinators/2, though I've not had contact directly with. We used Shore Adoption Services 757-422-6361 here in Virginia Beach and they are wonderful. Hope this helps. Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas 4/24/02

Hi There!! I'm in Va Beach. We used Dave Daulton for my daughter's adoption 5 years ago, he was wonderful, but, unfortunately, is having some personal problems, and not practicing right now. Gary allison is supposed to be very good, we are planning to use him if we can ever find another situation! We have been trying to adopt again for about 2 years, so far with no success. We're using Shore Adoption this time, I think they're wonderful! Nice to "meet" you Regina! :D

Regina - C-2 (in Richmond) and Shore in Va Beach, have some sort of a "relationship" one was started by one who had previously worked with the other (I forget which!). They speak highly and "friendly" KWIM? of each other We went with C-2 over Shore because we split the difference between them (driving time wise) almost exactly, and not dealing with the tunnel and beach traffic in the summer was a real plus. We too are using Gary Allison to re-adopt our sons in the U.S. When (if) we adopt again we will use another attorney though. He came highly recommended by 2 co-workers (one mine and one dh) and I believe beyond a doubt he "knows his stuff". I generally work only with his paralegal, who I really like. michelle

Michelle Any reason you wouldn't use Gary Allison again?

Heart - Our sons' birthmom found us on-line, and (if) when we adopt again we will again start by posting our profile on-line. He is simply not an advocate of on-line adoption. Both the people who recomended him met their children's birthparents through newspaper advertising. Since you are already connected, work with him. We had a mis-match(?) about 5 months before we were contacted about our sons...she NEVER said she was going to place (was 60/40 leaning towards keeping) ...she NEVER asked for money, but when her best friend was asked to get in touch with me when she went into the hospital..I called for advice, and found out his opinion toward on-line matches, since we plan on (hopefully) matching on line again....we will work with someone more "on-line" friendly. michelle

I hadn't heard that C/2 and SAS work together but am glad to hear it. Nancy Pitts, Gary's paralegal, is indeed wonderful. We had some snafus when adopting DS and she came back early from her father's funeral just to un-snafu us so we could go home. Tammie - are you going to the SAS picnic on the 22nd? We'll be there. Always nice to connect with other local afamilies. Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas 4/24/02 tobeafamily@excite.com

Tammie - are you going to the SAS picnic on the 22nd? We'll be there. Always nice to connect with other local afamilies. Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas 4/24/02 I am planning on it, I told Sheryl that I would do a craft table for the kids. The only problem is that I'm having surgery on the 19th, hope to be back on my feet for the 22nd! ;)

One of the adoptive parents I talked w/ when making our decision to go with a domestice open adoption told me her son's bmom used Rodney Poole. He has adopted a child himself. She told me that because of his positive views and experiences with adoption, the birth mom invited them to be present in the delivery room.

I am writing in regards to Life Family Services out of Lynchburg, VA. It is a maternity home for unwed mothers. Does anybody have any knowledge of this facility? Jill Rufus is a social worker there. TIA - email privately, please. Elizabeth Case dancase@frontiernet.net

Dave Daulton is working as an adoption paralegal in Mary Commander's office in Norfolk. They do a great job!:) :)

i am from petersburg ,va and the hospital here is southside regional medical center . john randolph is actually located in hopewell , va just outside of petersburg, i know they have an excelent birthing center but, as far as the support they would give a af i'm not sure they are very friendly there i'm sure if you contacted someone in adminstration they would be more than happy to help you. i wish you the best - good luck !!!

i do agree wwith you as far as the support you can recieve from coordinators2 i dealt with a lady named mimm and she was great but i have to tell you ---as a ** the home studies that are done are not accurate - plus the ap say and do what they know whats to be see and heard , i gave my daughter up and within a year the ap were seperated and divorced within a year and a half , the lawyer that i had can not be founf any where in the state of va -- as far as emotional help for ** --i have none in my area i'm an hour away from coordinators2 i no longer receive contact letters as promised and was told it was not wrotten in the adoption terms so they did not hav to-by mr r poole who also at the begining was very nice---- but come to find out he was actually a friend to the ap --- to all ** watch who you deal with - some peolpe hav been in the adoption business so long they know how to play the ** not that i think adoption is a bad avenue just please, please ,take your time and do your own checks --don't beliave everything that you are told much love and good luck to all

Ellie - I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I didn't quite follow what was going on with your followup contact with your babies' aparents - but that sounds like a different issue than the accuracy of a homestudy. I assuming from your post, the BIG issue for you is how quickly the couple you chose split. As an adoptive parent, who was homestudied by Coordinator's 2- I can tell you that our homestudy was very accurate. I'm very, very sorry that the parents you chose split so early on. They asked us alot of questions about how we communicate, what our plans were as far as raising and disciplining children (in VA adoptive parents are required to sign a non-corporal punishment form). They asked how we resolved disagreements in our marriage and what our views were on marriage (and other types of) counseling. They even asked us "how we express intimacy with each other". As a social worker whose job it is to determine how safe an environment is to raise a child in I'm not sure what else they could have asked. A social worker is human, they do not have the capacity to see into the future or into our hearts/minds/emotions. I hope they are trained to see through superficiality - but the fact is...this couple could have had a good marriage (or believed they did)when they were homestudied, with problem surfacing or arising after the fact. When we signed the papers to take physical custody of our sons (after their Birthmom signed in private with only the judge and social worker) the judge had her stay in the room while she went through all the possibilities to make sure we understood "what we were getting into" and that our sons were our sons forever - even if one of us died or we divorced the next week. I think it was hard for her to hear THAT on top having just signed relinquishment papers, but important as well. Michelle