Levels of Openness

The most important thing to remember is that there is no typical open adoption relationship. You may feel a close kinship or warm friendship with each other, or an uncomfortable and even conflictual association. The actual degree of closeness is not constant from one relationship to another, and you will likely need to set specific boundaries with the birth parents to help accommodate both of you.

An increasing number of adoption professionals feel that openness between the birthparents, adoptive parents, and the child benefits the child and often all parties involved. Information can be exchanged directly or indirectly. The placing parents can do some anticipatory grieving for their loss, while the adopting parents can prepare to bond immediately with their baby.