Adoption Parenting

Ages and Stages

Adoption Parenting: Newborn and Infant

Characteristics of Newborns and Infants

It’s often so difficult for us to determine when a child has advanced from one stage to another, for instance, from a newborn to an infant. A child is generally considered a newborn from birth to 4 weeks.

What to Expect the First Year

The primary task of a baby is to develop a sense of trust in the world and come to view it as a place that is predictable and reliable.

Adoption Parenting: Toddler

Characteristics and Traits of Toddlers

Toddlerhood is the time parents seem to find their children the most challenging, as their “babies” struggle between complete dependence and separation.

Typical Two-Year-Old Behavior

Toddlers continue the attachment and separation cycle in more sophisticated ways in the second year.

Adoption Parenting: Preschool

Adoption and Child Development

It is important to understand the typical developmental tasks and needs of preschoolers, as well as how adoption-related experiences may affect your child.

Communication About Adoption

Parents who project an attitude of acceptance and comfort with adoption are better able to help their children explore their own feelings and fears.

Discipline Considerations

The purpose of discipline is to teach, re-teach, and assist children in developing their own internal controls.

Adoption Parenting: Grade School

Understanding Child Development and the Impact of Adoption

School-aged children go through many significant developmental changes. It is important for parents to understand the typical tasks and needs of school-aged children as well as how adoption-related experiences may affect children.

Communicating About Adoption

Parents who feel good about adoption, are comfortable talking about it, and can openly acknowledge their child’s feelings are best able to help their children do the same.

Disciplining Effectively

The purpose of discipline is to teach children acceptable behavior and how to develop their own internal controls. Discipline should take into account your child’s abilities, learning styles, and family history.

Improving Your Child's School Experience

Being adopted can affect your child’s school experience. Peers may pose innocent questions that cause hurt feelings, or they may tease an adopted child about being adopted.

Seeking Help for Mental Health Concerns

Adoptive families, like other families, sometimes need help to address mental health concerns. Sadness, anger, and behavior challenges are normal as children in grade school learn more about their family histories and come to terms with adoption.

Adoption Parenting: Preteen

A Time of Changes

As children reach 10, 11, and 12, they seem to become different people.

Psychological Identification

If your child has had several homes before yours, there is often a brief honeymoon period where s/he will try to be perfect to ensure your love. But soon the sense of loss, hurt, and anger surfaces.

Adoption Parenting: Teenage Years

Understanding Teenage Development and the Impact of Adoption

Thirteen- to nineteen-year-olds experience rapid physical and hormonal growth.

Communicating with Your Teenager About Adoption

Adopted teenagers wonder about their birth families and think about adoption more than most parents realize. They need parents who are comfortable talking about adoption, who aren’t threatened or hurt by the discussion, and who can help answer their questions and discover information about their pasts.

Helping You Teenager Communicate with Others About Adoption

Being adopted can affect peer interactions. Teens are capable of more sophisticated understanding and discussions about adoption, but they can be quite narrow in their judgments.

Disciplining Effectively

As teenagers assert their emerging identities and independence, while also navigating peer pressures, they frequently will test the boundaries of family rules.

Preparing Your Teenager for Adulthood

An important part of parenting teenagers is creating the conditions in which they can master adult tasks and take on greater independence.

Seeking Help for Mental Concerns

For many adopted persons, growing up in an adoptive family involves some additional complications and challenges.

Adoption Parenting: Young Adults

Postadoption Issues

Adopted persons may deal with a range of issues at different points in their lives.

Openness, Searching, and Access to Family History

Being placed for adoption does not necessarily mean an adopted person will never be able to contact his or her birth parents again.

Managing Adoption Issues

Most adopted adults overcome any adoption-related issues they experience during childhood and adolescence and are as well-adjusted as nonadopted persons.

Additional Resources

Several nonprofit membership organizations provide education, advocacy, and support for families touched by adoption.

Visit Special Needs to find out more about physical, mental, and emotional disabilities.

Return to Adoption Wiki