The last two years of my life have truly been a series of unfortunate events, including, but not limited to, unplanned pregnancy and placing a baby for adoption. I’ve had many more lows than highs. But I’m writing an article about being at peace? How does that make sense? Here are five reasons why I am at peace with my decision to place my baby girl for adoption.
1.I know my birth daughter thrives.
Maybe I’m biased, but I have never seen a happier, healthier, more beautiful baby in my life. I get to witness firsthand how healthy her attachment to her parents is. I get to see her laugh with her big brother. She is a picture of healthy development.. I know that her needs will always be met, both physically and emotionally.
2. She is so loved.
When I went into labor around 2 a.m., I called baby R’s adoptive parents. They wasted no time getting to the hospital to be there for her birth. Seeing how excited they were to love their daughter was what got me through the pain of childbirth. I watched as they held her for the first time, and I knew that they were meant to be family. She has her daddy and brother wrapped around her little finger, and their joy gives me peace.
And I love her. I will always, always be around to show her my love. I take every chance I get to hold her, play with her, and tell her how much I love her. I will be there to answer any questions she might have about why I placed her. I will be as involved as she wants me to be, and I will love every minute I spend with her.
3. I am so loved.
Baby R’s parents did not just adopt her. They adopted me—and my entire family. I know and love their parents, brothers, and sisters, and they know and love mine. Her parents have no legal obligation to visit with me or keep me updated on their adventures. They don’t have to send me pictures every week or text me to see how I am doing. They don’t have to worry about me when I’m sick or care about my school and job. But they do, because they love me.
4. Adoption has given me purpose.
I have never loved anyone like I love baby R. I have never hurt as much as I did when I placed her. I have never been so strong as I am now. I have never realized my potential to help others and make a difference in their lives. The joy and heartache of adoption has given me a depth of feeling and empathy that not many people get to experience. This experience has influenced everything from my career decisions to the people I associate with to how I look at a stranger on the street. I live to be the type of person that my birth daughter would be proud of
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5. Adoption gives me hope.
I have had a glimpse of motherhood, and I am so excited to be a mother again someday. I met my best friend in an adoption support group, and she has been an incredible light in my life. My relationship with my parents grew infinitely stronger through this trial. And I know now that whatever life has to throw at me, I am brave enough and strong enough to make it through. I have the power to make my life happy.
Adoption has blessed my life in so many ways. I know I am who I am today because I am a birth mother. I know that my heart is broken and that the ache will never quite go away. But the ache is nothing compared to the joy and love that fills my heart every time I think of the precious little girl I gave life to. I know she is okay. I know I am okay. And so I am at peace.
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